me old fruity's definitions

shitlip

1. a bizzarre sexual practice involving smearing shit on your partner's top lip after anal sex, see dirty sanchez
2. same as above, but done as a practical joke, usually whilst someone is sleeping/passed out etc. turd applied may or may not be human. the person wakes up to a most fragrant aroma.

slimy perv: fancy a shitlip tonight?
your daughter: okay!!!

Matt: haha look we just totally shitlipped joey with that dog crap we found outside!
joey: what..uh..how long was i out for? and uh, whats that smell?

by me old fruity September 5, 2005

scouse cashpoint

a fruit machine.

ch-ching!

Dazza: Eh Brian are you goin out tonight mate?
Brian: Nah mate don't get me dole money till friday
Dazza: Calm down calm down youse can give the scouse cashpoint a try!

by me old fruity May 23, 2006

ace of spades

a dump which requires only a one sheet wipe afterwards

gary was pleased that his abstaining from curry and beans had led to an increase in frequency of the hallowed 'ace of spades', thereby saving him enough money on toilet paper to buy a hummer.

by me old fruity January 4, 2007

NUS

National Union of Students. Join and you get a free card that gets you 20% off at pizza hut, 10% at hmv and uh...thats pretty much it.

bouncers don't accept nus cards as id because its easy for 16 yr olds to lie on the application form

by me old fruity August 29, 2005

pharrell

talented and fit (but my gosh don't he know it) producer/singer from virginia. huge experience as a producer,one half of legendary producers the neptunes, part of star trak and also one third of band N*E*R*D (No One Ever Really Dies.)
he has an incredible amount of projects. not satisfied with producing the likes of:
beyonce, britney spears, ludacris, kelis, clipse, fam-lay, nelly, jay-z, snoop dogg and even missy elliot to name just a few (he once produced 60% of the chart) he also has his own clothing line, Billionaire Boys Club (BBC) and shoe range (Ice Creams.)
could probably charm any woman on this earth and he knows it! lucky sod.

'do ya think that u can f*ck with we, star trak, and BBC, n*****r?'- pharrel feat on Snoop Dogg 'It Blows My Mind'

'see these ice cubes, see these ice creams?'- Pharrel and Snoop Dogg 'Drop It Like Its Hot'

'just as long as we got the same thing running through our veins, you and i, we are both the same'- breakout

by me old fruity September 2, 2005

how much you normally pay?

Something all asian taxi drivers in the UK say when you get in the cab. Must be said with indian/pakistani accent for full effect, and can be very amusing if used correctly. see also:
can i help you my friend?
where u wanting to go?
my brother do it cheap for you!

when serving on the bar or in a shop, try asking 'how much you normally pay?' when a customer asks u how much something is, then laugh at their response

by me old fruity July 1, 2006

multipla

ugliest car known to man. looks somewhere between a blob, an alien and that fat girl that never got asked to dance at parties so just sits in the corner giving her prettier friend evil eye. nissan are responsible for this 6 seater monstrosity.

my ex at NEC Motor Show to prospective buyers of Multipla: leave it alone, its fat and ugly.
me: snigger.

by me old fruity August 28, 2005