Skip to main content

magickdio's definitions

Ruck Or Fuck

The tense game played by couples who have been together long enough to feel true rage. You'd think that "fuck" would always be the chosen option, but sometimes bringing someone else to tears is more sastisfying than orgasm.

Stress is building, and you're pretty sure it's all down to your significant other. They are looking at you as if they want to see you disembowelled. From this point in, it's simple. You're either going to tear strips off each other and compete over who can shout the loudest, and who can dig up the most dirt to sling at the other- ie "Ruck", or you're going to lunge for each other and tear off each others clothes and shag like the world is about to end- ie "Fuck"

Ruck or Fuck, amigo. You decide.
"He'd come home drunk, because he said I was doing his head in, and then he started yelling at me for giving him "evils" and speaking to me like I was a kid....it was ruck or fuck, mate"

"And? Which one was it?"

"Ruck!! There's no way I'm letting him speak to me like that!"

"Bad choice. I'd have chosen fuck.....always choose fuck!"
by MagickDio April 2, 2010
mugGet the Ruck Or Fuck mug.

Bessfriend

Comes from the way pissed up folk say "best friend." To be a "bessfriend" for any length of time is incredibly unfortunate. You attain this dreaded status by having a drunken person latch onto you and tell you all their problems, cry on your shoulder and generally kill your groove. Several times, through hiccups and sobs about ex partners, you will hear the words "You're like my bessfriend, you are." Note- you don't even have to really KNOW this person to be their bessfriend for the night.

The worst bessfriend situations occur when they are members of the opposite sex. You either get cock blocked or pussy locked all night by the weepy eyed, wretched looking individual clinging desperately to your wrist.
"Why didn't you come to the club last night? We all wondered where you got to. Did you go home?"

"No such luck. Some mental bitch in Yates's decided to make me her "bessfriend" for the night, and I just could NOT shake her!"
by MagickDio April 24, 2010
mugGet the Bessfriend mug.

Gun Face

A lot of scary looking people have what is known as "Gun Face." It's when you feel confident in saying that a person owns a gun and has brandished it or has a gun on their person purely from the appearance of their face. Their expression is unsettling- a mix of insanity,glee and contemplation, as if they're wondering if they've got enough old carpet left to roll their next victim up in.

Vin Diesel (if that IS his real name) has Gun Face.
I don't want to go to the post office. The guy behind the counter has Gun Face, and is probably going to snap any day now!
by MagickDio January 9, 2011
mugGet the Gun Face mug.

Turnt Round

What idiots say when relaying a conversation they had. No matter who they were speaking to or where they where at the time, you will always find that they and the other conversational counterpart managed to turn around constantly. The idiot will claim that they "turnt round" to deliver a comment or action, and that the other person "turnt round" in order to respond, thus giving the impression that they spent the whole time twirling about.
"So, what happened?"

"Well, he turnt round and said that it couldn't be his cos he pulled out, so I turnt round and told him that he was a knob. I thought he was gonna shut up til he turnt round and called me a slag. So I turnt round and slapped him one and he turnt round looking well embarrassed!"
by MagickDio March 11, 2010
mugGet the Turnt Round mug.

Convenient Lesbian

1) Girls who indulge in girl on girl action when surrounded by girls only. Despite being hetero, they get their jollies the gay way, rather than have no action at all. Common in students at all girls boarding schools.

2) A girl who announces she's gay when being chatted up by a bloke she finds repellent.

3) The heterosexual emo females, who believe that gayness=coolness and therefore have all been gay/are currently gay/will be gay very soon but will embrace their genuine sexuality when that is in fashion.
1) I first had sex when I was seventeen, if you don't count the two years in which I attended Roedean and was a convenient lesbian.

2) Phil decided to go home after being shot down by the fifth convenient lesbian of the night.

3) Those emo girls aren't actually gay, you know. They're just convenient lesbians. Next week they'll be into pre-op transexuals to coincide with the latest reality tv show.
by MagickDio November 7, 2012
mugGet the Convenient Lesbian mug.

Hold Your Tongue

1) Ridiculous old-school talk which means "Don't say anything". It's right up there with "Pick your feet up", "Pull your socks up", "Hold your horses" and "Sleep tight". These are also phrases which, if taken literally, would be amusing viewing.

2) A cautionary comment to a bloke who may be considering sex with a woman whose disease status is unknown, but looks rife. (Condoms won't help if you're making oral contact with females, kids. They're not magic.) It obviously means "Don't go down on her, you'll get herpes"
1) "My mummy says you're a harlot"
"Hold your tongue, Julia! And pick your feet up!"

2) "Right, I'm leaving now. Guys, this is Kelly"
(gestures to bleach blonde wearing velour tracksuit and giant hoop earrings, chewing gum and smoking at the same time)
"Alright, but Dave? Take this durex and for the love of God, hold your tongue"
by MagickDio April 27, 2010
mugGet the Hold Your Tongue mug.

Hit List

1) A list of people you want to shag

2)A list of sexual acts, each of which has a number of "points" attached to it. This is usually a list drawn up with a group of mates, and a competition ensues to see who can get the highest score. It's not usually a list of delightful acts to blissfully orgasm your way through, it's designed to be more of a test of endurance. For example, rimming someone over 2 and a half times your age would gain you 200 points, whereas performing full oral servicing on someone 2 and a half times your weight would net you 1000. There's usually a trophy act which involves all holes and someone smokin' hot but it's infinitely easier to nail the god awful stuff.
1) I just added Michael to my hit list, he's delicious.

2)K~ "Ok, I rimmed the 56 year old bloke. Chalk up my 200"

D~ "I made that weird kid cum in his trousers at the bar, which is 100, and tossed that footballer off under the table , which is another 150, so that's 250 for me!"

T~"Well, I gave that 30 stone woman full oral servicing, so I need 1000 points and some kind of super strength mouthwash"
by MagickDio April 27, 2010
mugGet the Hit List mug.

Share this definition

Sign in to vote

We'll email you a link to sign in instantly.

Or

Check your email

We sent a link to

Open your email