magickdio's definitions
1)Moisturiser for men is Boysturiser. There's nothing wrong with a bit of moisturiser, but these products earn the term "boysturiser" because of their aggressive packaging. All coloured in various shades of "gun" with a bright trim, as if to say "This is a serious product, it's dangerous. But not so dangerous that it will burn your face off.It's safe to use. But ONLY by Real Men". Males who are concerned about looking "gay" for caring about their skin will purchase boysturiser. Men who don't give a damn how people perceive them will either use their partners moisturiser, buy a supermarket own brand, or buy whichever one was closest to them on the shelf at the time. As far as today's men are concerned, there are those who moisturise, and those who boysturise.
2) Men claim to women that they've "heard" that semen is good for the skin, in an attempt to have them readily agree to a dose to the face. They say it jokingly, but ever hopefully that the woman will say, "Really?? Because I've tried everything to get rid of this dry skin, but not that. Come on then, I want it all over" Because of this ridiculous male perpetrated myth, guys across the world are still self advertising the marvellous properties of their own "boysturiser". With a handy dispenser! Just stroke, rub and aim to achieve desired results! Satisfaction guaranteed! (note- satisfaction guarantee applies to dispensing party only.)
2) Men claim to women that they've "heard" that semen is good for the skin, in an attempt to have them readily agree to a dose to the face. They say it jokingly, but ever hopefully that the woman will say, "Really?? Because I've tried everything to get rid of this dry skin, but not that. Come on then, I want it all over" Because of this ridiculous male perpetrated myth, guys across the world are still self advertising the marvellous properties of their own "boysturiser". With a handy dispenser! Just stroke, rub and aim to achieve desired results! Satisfaction guaranteed! (note- satisfaction guarantee applies to dispensing party only.)
1) "Greg's just gone and spent £30 on boysturiser, when he could have got the same stuff from Asda for £10."
2) "I thought that the date was going well until he mentioned he had something to help my dry skin problem"
"Oh no, did he offer his boysturiser?"
"He sure did. And went home alone, presumably to boysturise his own right hand"
2) "I thought that the date was going well until he mentioned he had something to help my dry skin problem"
"Oh no, did he offer his boysturiser?"
"He sure did. And went home alone, presumably to boysturise his own right hand"
by MagickDio March 18, 2010
Get the Boysturisermug. The week during which a woman has her period. There will be blood, an uncomfortable sense of tension and a bad tempered, unpredictable beast.
Take heed during shark week. If you show signs of weakness or aggression, you will be attacked. If you get attacked, it will be all your fault, infinitely more traumatic for her and you'll never be allowed to forget it.
Take heed during shark week. If you show signs of weakness or aggression, you will be attacked. If you get attacked, it will be all your fault, infinitely more traumatic for her and you'll never be allowed to forget it.
Man 1-"Why is your wife glaring at you from the window?"
Man 2-"Shark week. She's looking for an excuse to strike"
Man 1-"Pub?"
Man 2-"Hell yes."
Man 2-"Shark week. She's looking for an excuse to strike"
Man 1-"Pub?"
Man 2-"Hell yes."
by MagickDio January 9, 2011
Get the Shark Weekmug. To be in "cock mode" is when men decide to give their brains a rest and let their penises take over. Cock mode is not a sensible way to operate on a night out. It will lead the unfortunate male into a diseased or unattractive female.
A guy ceases to run in cock mode within 3 minutes of ejaculating- usually when cognitive thought returns and the hideous beast they have just lain with comes into full focus.
Cock mode can be a good thing if you're in a long term relationship with a girl who does your head in. Switch off your brain and let your penis listen to the inane chatter instead, and then secure a nice orgasm for you. Sorted.
A guy ceases to run in cock mode within 3 minutes of ejaculating- usually when cognitive thought returns and the hideous beast they have just lain with comes into full focus.
Cock mode can be a good thing if you're in a long term relationship with a girl who does your head in. Switch off your brain and let your penis listen to the inane chatter instead, and then secure a nice orgasm for you. Sorted.
"Why on earth did you leave with that freak last night? She was seriously awful looking"
"I was in cock mode, I didn't really know what I was doing"
"Ah, totally understandable. I switch to cock mode when my wife starts talking. I'm virtually unreachable"
"I was in cock mode, I didn't really know what I was doing"
"Ah, totally understandable. I switch to cock mode when my wife starts talking. I'm virtually unreachable"
by MagickDio April 22, 2010
Get the Cock Modemug. 1)
The standard response when you still don't understand what has been explained to you, but simply cannot tolerate any more of the conversation. It must be used sparingly however, as overuse of "Ah, I see" will lead them to enquire as to what it is that you "see", and then you're fucked.
2)
The sarcastic response for when the information that someone expects you to understand is so vastly complicated and pointless that you could slap them out of sheer frustration. Usually said with more emphasis on the "see" part of the phrase.
The standard response when you still don't understand what has been explained to you, but simply cannot tolerate any more of the conversation. It must be used sparingly however, as overuse of "Ah, I see" will lead them to enquire as to what it is that you "see", and then you're fucked.
2)
The sarcastic response for when the information that someone expects you to understand is so vastly complicated and pointless that you could slap them out of sheer frustration. Usually said with more emphasis on the "see" part of the phrase.
1)
Man- ".....and those are the differences between multi-port fuel injection and throttle body fuel injection"
Woman- "Ah, I see"
2)
Woman- ".....and that's how I know that you did what you did and said what you said on monday night, because Gemma said that Rachel said that Alan said that Dan said that he knew someone who saw you there!!"
Man- "Ah, I see"
Man- ".....and those are the differences between multi-port fuel injection and throttle body fuel injection"
Woman- "Ah, I see"
2)
Woman- ".....and that's how I know that you did what you did and said what you said on monday night, because Gemma said that Rachel said that Alan said that Dan said that he knew someone who saw you there!!"
Man- "Ah, I see"
by MagickDio February 21, 2010
Get the Ah, I seemug. 1. A word used to express total annoyance
2. A word used to describe those who have caused you total annoyance.
3. A group of teenage idiots that hang around shopping centres, swearing, spitting and acting hyper.
2. A word used to describe those who have caused you total annoyance.
3. A group of teenage idiots that hang around shopping centres, swearing, spitting and acting hyper.
1. " My internet connection has gone again! FUCKSTICKS!!"
2. "My energy company sent me an estimated bill for about 5 times more than is humanly possible to consume. Fucksticks!"
3. Tina decided to use the south entrance to the mall, owing to the high concentration of fucksticks spitting and leaping about outside the north entrance.
2. "My energy company sent me an estimated bill for about 5 times more than is humanly possible to consume. Fucksticks!"
3. Tina decided to use the south entrance to the mall, owing to the high concentration of fucksticks spitting and leaping about outside the north entrance.
by MagickDio April 24, 2010
Get the Fucksticks!mug. someone who is otherwise unemployed, and spends their entire waking life trawling the internet for free pornography.
"Since Gary lost his job, he has become a full time Internet Explorer"
"Don't be an internet explorer all your life. Get some real sex"
"Don't be an internet explorer all your life. Get some real sex"
by MagickDio February 6, 2010
Get the Internet Explorermug. 1) When you slink off to secretly have sex with someone you shouldn't. Usually because you or they are in a relationship. Someone who stealth fucks is usually a stealthy fucker, and you can recognise them by the fact that they melt into shadows and you don't see them for hours.
2) When either or both parties are unsure if penetration has occured; a situation that only occurs with very loose women or very small men. Will always occur when the two are put together. Stealth fucking of this kind is often coupled with the question- "Is it in yet?"
2) When either or both parties are unsure if penetration has occured; a situation that only occurs with very loose women or very small men. Will always occur when the two are put together. Stealth fucking of this kind is often coupled with the question- "Is it in yet?"
1) "Jake's gone again! He was just here! Call his mobile. What? Switched off, eh? Bet he's gone off for a stealth fuck"
2) "Julie needs to tone up. I'm not satisfied with this stealth fucking nonsense"
2) "Julie needs to tone up. I'm not satisfied with this stealth fucking nonsense"
by MagickDio March 2, 2010
Get the Stealth Fuckmug.