95 definitions by magickdio

1) To give someone the hard eye is to look at them with disapproval/disdain/dislike. You give someone the hard eye when you don't know them- you just know you don't like them. Like when someone won't stop swearing when you've got small children with you. That merits a serving of hard eye.

2) To appraise something critically. One assumes that aspiring models are given the hard eye when they apply to an agency. It's when you look for things to dislike rather than things to like.
1) The mouthy teens on the bus continued to talk at deafening volume and play offensive rap music on their mobile phones, despite being given the hard eye by 90% of the passengers.

2) After giving Vanessa the hard eye as she walked to the loo, Doug decided he wouldn't be taking "her" home after all.
by magickdio January 8, 2011
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1) Girls who indulge in girl on girl action when surrounded by girls only. Despite being hetero, they get their jollies the gay way, rather than have no action at all. Common in students at all girls boarding schools.

2) A girl who announces she's gay when being chatted up by a bloke she finds repellent.

3) The heterosexual emo females, who believe that gayness=coolness and therefore have all been gay/are currently gay/will be gay very soon but will embrace their genuine sexuality when that is in fashion.
1) I first had sex when I was seventeen, if you don't count the two years in which I attended Roedean and was a convenient lesbian.

2) Phil decided to go home after being shot down by the fifth convenient lesbian of the night.

3) Those emo girls aren't actually gay, you know. They're just convenient lesbians. Next week they'll be into pre-op transexuals to coincide with the latest reality tv show.
by magickdio May 28, 2012
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An orgasm which is given out of an uncomfortable sense of duty; much like parting with small change when confronted with a bucket shaking Salvation Army worker. You don't want to give it, but you'll be made to feel a total shit if you don't.

Here is a typical example of a circumstance that requires such a donation. Your partner has been moaning all the livelong day about their appearance. Words like "obese", "disgusting", "hideous" and "gross" have been used so often and so emphatically that, despite yourself, you genuinely begin to agree. Then the obligatory "You're so gorgeous, I can't keep my hands off you" sex that was meant to assure them they're hot has become an act of charity, with you performing deeds that you would rather not share with someone who has half convinced you they're a troll.
He closed his eyes and thought of Beyoncé whilst making his charity orgasm donation to his long term "fat", "rancid" and "skanky" girlfriend.
by magickdio October 13, 2010
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When you finally succeed in meeting that one person that you've fantasized about, finding out that they're pretty awesome and then getting naked and naughty with them........that, my friend, is a total fuckcess! Take a mental photo album of the occasion, and browse at leisure- this one is gonna make you smile for a long time yet.
"Good weekend?"
"Yes, it was a total fuckcess!"
by magickdio April 3, 2010
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1. A word used to express total annoyance

2. A word used to describe those who have caused you total annoyance.

3. A group of teenage idiots that hang around shopping centres, swearing, spitting and acting hyper.
1. " My internet connection has gone again! FUCKSTICKS!!"

2. "My energy company sent me an estimated bill for about 5 times more than is humanly possible to consume. Fucksticks!"

3. Tina decided to use the south entrance to the mall, owing to the high concentration of fucksticks spitting and leaping about outside the north entrance.
by magickdio April 24, 2010
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Like Secret Santa in that one person delivers something to another, and the recipient was unaware that it was heading their way. Except that the delivery is not a Christmas gift, it's an epic bollocking.

1) One of your friends or family will ultimately humiliate you and make you want to die on the spot. Secret Sergeant encompasses the art of working out which one of the fuckers it will be, eg- one of them is secretly waiting to tear you to shreds, Sgt. style, and the rest of them probably know about it.

2) If you're quietly waiting for the best moment to crush your friend's/lover's/sister's or otherwise acquainted or related person's world, and you have discussed it with others, you are the Secret Sergeant. The way you get your kicks is by not being discovered by your intended target, and getting that moment of sweet, sweet satisfaction when the unsuspecting person falls apart before your eyes. A good Secret Sergeant could wipe the smile off a leprechaun's face.
"One of them is going to go all Secret Sergeant about me running off to vegas and getting married....I need to know which one it is"

"He cried his eyes out. He didn't even see it coming, and I didn't care for his weak and pathetic tears. I went totally Secret Sergeant on him!"
by magickdio February 17, 2010
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Cum that was expelled through masturbation, ie- "Jacking", and has not been cleaned up, allowing it to go shiny and slightly crisp, like cake frosting.

Typically found in teenagers bedrooms, although fully grown men that have wank addictions have been known to jack frost their carpet on a regular basis.
Danielle thought she had hit the jackpot with Steven. He was kind, considerate, and seemed to be very house proud. She relaxed happily on the sofa, thinking about how great her relationship was- until she noticed the Jack Frosting on one of the cushions.
by magickdio April 23, 2010
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