magickdio's definitions
1)Moisturiser for men is Boysturiser. There's nothing wrong with a bit of moisturiser, but these products earn the term "boysturiser" because of their aggressive packaging. All coloured in various shades of "gun" with a bright trim, as if to say "This is a serious product, it's dangerous. But not so dangerous that it will burn your face off.It's safe to use. But ONLY by Real Men". Males who are concerned about looking "gay" for caring about their skin will purchase boysturiser. Men who don't give a damn how people perceive them will either use their partners moisturiser, buy a supermarket own brand, or buy whichever one was closest to them on the shelf at the time. As far as today's men are concerned, there are those who moisturise, and those who boysturise.
2) Men claim to women that they've "heard" that semen is good for the skin, in an attempt to have them readily agree to a dose to the face. They say it jokingly, but ever hopefully that the woman will say, "Really?? Because I've tried everything to get rid of this dry skin, but not that. Come on then, I want it all over" Because of this ridiculous male perpetrated myth, guys across the world are still self advertising the marvellous properties of their own "boysturiser". With a handy dispenser! Just stroke, rub and aim to achieve desired results! Satisfaction guaranteed! (note- satisfaction guarantee applies to dispensing party only.)
2) Men claim to women that they've "heard" that semen is good for the skin, in an attempt to have them readily agree to a dose to the face. They say it jokingly, but ever hopefully that the woman will say, "Really?? Because I've tried everything to get rid of this dry skin, but not that. Come on then, I want it all over" Because of this ridiculous male perpetrated myth, guys across the world are still self advertising the marvellous properties of their own "boysturiser". With a handy dispenser! Just stroke, rub and aim to achieve desired results! Satisfaction guaranteed! (note- satisfaction guarantee applies to dispensing party only.)
1) "Greg's just gone and spent £30 on boysturiser, when he could have got the same stuff from Asda for £10."
2) "I thought that the date was going well until he mentioned he had something to help my dry skin problem"
"Oh no, did he offer his boysturiser?"
"He sure did. And went home alone, presumably to boysturise his own right hand"
2) "I thought that the date was going well until he mentioned he had something to help my dry skin problem"
"Oh no, did he offer his boysturiser?"
"He sure did. And went home alone, presumably to boysturise his own right hand"
by MagickDio March 18, 2010
Get the Boysturiser mug.A guy who always tries to get the same girls as you, and often manages. Your sexual histories contain a lot of the same names, and you hate and fear one another, yet oddly respect your equal potential for ho wrangling. If you ever encounter one another at a urinal, you will both sneakily try to glimpse each other's equipment, to assess the enemy's capabilities. You will never again talk to female friends who bed your rival.
You should never engage in a threesome with your dick enemy, no matter how hot the girl is, as you would likely half kill her through your mutual need to prove yourself the best, and then end up almost killing one another in a fight.
You should never engage in a threesome with your dick enemy, no matter how hot the girl is, as you would likely half kill her through your mutual need to prove yourself the best, and then end up almost killing one another in a fight.
by MagickDio August 20, 2010
Get the Dick Enemy mug.A lot of scary looking people have what is known as "Gun Face." It's when you feel confident in saying that a person owns a gun and has brandished it or has a gun on their person purely from the appearance of their face. Their expression is unsettling- a mix of insanity,glee and contemplation, as if they're wondering if they've got enough old carpet left to roll their next victim up in.
Vin Diesel (if that IS his real name) has Gun Face.
Vin Diesel (if that IS his real name) has Gun Face.
I don't want to go to the post office. The guy behind the counter has Gun Face, and is probably going to snap any day now!
by MagickDio January 9, 2011
Get the Gun Face mug.1) The total shit someone talks when they're drunk
2) The sudden surge of bravery one experiences when totally lashed
2) The sudden surge of bravery one experiences when totally lashed
Well, look who's gone and got himself a pair of beer bollocks! Seb, they'll kill us both. Let's go and get a kebab
by MagickDio July 11, 2010
Get the Beer Bollocks mug.1) "Go out and smash it"- A line from a Black Eyed Peas song, which implies that they're going to go out of an evening and have a very good time.
2) What you do when your alarm clock just won't stop beeping, no matter what you do, or how many buttons you press.
3) To indulge in seriously hard sex
2) What you do when your alarm clock just won't stop beeping, no matter what you do, or how many buttons you press.
3) To indulge in seriously hard sex
1) "Wanna 'go out and smash it? Like, oh my God?"
2) "Smash it! Just fucking smash it! I can't stand the noise anymore!"
3) "Man, did I smash it last night! My back is killing me!"
2) "Smash it! Just fucking smash it! I can't stand the noise anymore!"
3) "Man, did I smash it last night! My back is killing me!"
by MagickDio March 25, 2010
Get the Smash It mug.1) The process by which women rate "weepy" films. The more it makes them cry, be it through sadness, relief, happiness or just because someone had a cute face, the higher the film will rank.
2) The process by which men rate pornographic films. The more it makes them ejaculate, be it through domination, bondage, bukkake or just because someone had a cute ass, the higher the film will rank.
2) The process by which men rate pornographic films. The more it makes them ejaculate, be it through domination, bondage, bukkake or just because someone had a cute ass, the higher the film will rank.
1) "Oh my God, you so have to watch Marley and Me, it's like a five on the tissue test!"
2) "Oh my God, you so have to watch Lesbian Fuckwhores, it's like a five on the tissue test!"
2) "Oh my God, you so have to watch Lesbian Fuckwhores, it's like a five on the tissue test!"
by MagickDio July 17, 2011
Get the Tissue Test mug.A state of order and cleanliness that is barely passable. If your teeth have been brushed for approximately 15 seconds, the front part of your hair has been messily styled, and your shirt has been dragged out of the washing basket and febrezed, consider yourself "man tidy." If your living room has floor debris and unidentifiable matter pushed under the sofa, empty lager cans lined up on the coffee table and a light layer of dust covering every surface, consider it "man tidy." If you're a woman and you keep your affairs in such disorder, then grow some ovaries and pick up a duster.
There are males that walk among us that have shrugged off "man tidy" and all its associated mingingness, yet we shall refer to these individuals as Gods, because they are so very rare and breathtaking.
There are males that walk among us that have shrugged off "man tidy" and all its associated mingingness, yet we shall refer to these individuals as Gods, because they are so very rare and breathtaking.
"Hold on, let me just run in and do a quick spot check. Greg was off work today, so I left him in charge of the housework. It'll probably be man tidy in here"
by MagickDio May 19, 2010
Get the Man Tidy mug.