magickdio's definitions
1)Moisturiser for men is Boysturiser. There's nothing wrong with a bit of moisturiser, but these products earn the term "boysturiser" because of their aggressive packaging. All coloured in various shades of "gun" with a bright trim, as if to say "This is a serious product, it's dangerous. But not so dangerous that it will burn your face off.It's safe to use. But ONLY by Real Men". Males who are concerned about looking "gay" for caring about their skin will purchase boysturiser. Men who don't give a damn how people perceive them will either use their partners moisturiser, buy a supermarket own brand, or buy whichever one was closest to them on the shelf at the time. As far as today's men are concerned, there are those who moisturise, and those who boysturise.
2) Men claim to women that they've "heard" that semen is good for the skin, in an attempt to have them readily agree to a dose to the face. They say it jokingly, but ever hopefully that the woman will say, "Really?? Because I've tried everything to get rid of this dry skin, but not that. Come on then, I want it all over" Because of this ridiculous male perpetrated myth, guys across the world are still self advertising the marvellous properties of their own "boysturiser". With a handy dispenser! Just stroke, rub and aim to achieve desired results! Satisfaction guaranteed! (note- satisfaction guarantee applies to dispensing party only.)
2) Men claim to women that they've "heard" that semen is good for the skin, in an attempt to have them readily agree to a dose to the face. They say it jokingly, but ever hopefully that the woman will say, "Really?? Because I've tried everything to get rid of this dry skin, but not that. Come on then, I want it all over" Because of this ridiculous male perpetrated myth, guys across the world are still self advertising the marvellous properties of their own "boysturiser". With a handy dispenser! Just stroke, rub and aim to achieve desired results! Satisfaction guaranteed! (note- satisfaction guarantee applies to dispensing party only.)
1) "Greg's just gone and spent £30 on boysturiser, when he could have got the same stuff from Asda for £10."
2) "I thought that the date was going well until he mentioned he had something to help my dry skin problem"
"Oh no, did he offer his boysturiser?"
"He sure did. And went home alone, presumably to boysturise his own right hand"
2) "I thought that the date was going well until he mentioned he had something to help my dry skin problem"
"Oh no, did he offer his boysturiser?"
"He sure did. And went home alone, presumably to boysturise his own right hand"
by MagickDio March 18, 2010
Get the Boysturisermug. 1) the jacking of a very small penis. To wank a winkle is to perform a wankle
2) The young son of a wanker or chavs who is already displaying wanker like tendencies, ie; swearing at you in the street, calling you "guv" and swigging endless cans of cheap liquid bought in bulk at the local Spar
2) The young son of a wanker or chavs who is already displaying wanker like tendencies, ie; swearing at you in the street, calling you "guv" and swigging endless cans of cheap liquid bought in bulk at the local Spar
1) "Mum, Sam's locked himself in the bathroom again!"
"Ah, leave him at it love, he's just having a wankle"
~"His dick was so tiny, I realised I was actually giving him a wankle"
2) "You know that twat down the road? Well, his lad dropped a crushed can of 'Kola' in my garden and then told me to "Chill the fuck out, Guv" when I told him to pick it up!"
"Jesus, what a wankle"
"Ah, leave him at it love, he's just having a wankle"
~"His dick was so tiny, I realised I was actually giving him a wankle"
2) "You know that twat down the road? Well, his lad dropped a crushed can of 'Kola' in my garden and then told me to "Chill the fuck out, Guv" when I told him to pick it up!"
"Jesus, what a wankle"
by MagickDio February 4, 2010
Get the Wanklemug. The week during which a woman has her period. There will be blood, an uncomfortable sense of tension and a bad tempered, unpredictable beast.
Take heed during shark week. If you show signs of weakness or aggression, you will be attacked. If you get attacked, it will be all your fault, infinitely more traumatic for her and you'll never be allowed to forget it.
Take heed during shark week. If you show signs of weakness or aggression, you will be attacked. If you get attacked, it will be all your fault, infinitely more traumatic for her and you'll never be allowed to forget it.
Man 1-"Why is your wife glaring at you from the window?"
Man 2-"Shark week. She's looking for an excuse to strike"
Man 1-"Pub?"
Man 2-"Hell yes."
Man 2-"Shark week. She's looking for an excuse to strike"
Man 1-"Pub?"
Man 2-"Hell yes."
by MagickDio January 9, 2011
Get the Shark Weekmug. When you've been dying for a piss for ages but have had to hold it in due to being in a crowded bar/talked to/nowhere near a toilet or shop doorway, the eventual act of urination can only be described as Weejaculation. Not only because of the speed that the fluid exits ones body, but because of the sensation produced. Makes people say "ahhhhhhhhhhhh" with their eyes closed and their head tilted back in sheer ecstacy.
"I've been in this toilet queue for 20 minutes, it's just gonna be weejaculation when I get in there."
by MagickDio March 4, 2010
Get the Weejaculationmug. The person we all know who practically pants with lust when they're waiting to cross the road because someone drove by in a very fast car.
They like to talk about cars, buy magazines about cars and watch cars on eBay that they have no intention of buying, just to see how much it goes for. They normally have at least one poster of a car in their home, and will regularly show you a picture or YouTube clip of the car they dream of owning one day. They scoff at the speed limit, have at least three points on their driving license and watch Formula One as if it's actually interesting.
These people are awful. Jeremy Clarkson is an example of a famous automophile.
They like to talk about cars, buy magazines about cars and watch cars on eBay that they have no intention of buying, just to see how much it goes for. They normally have at least one poster of a car in their home, and will regularly show you a picture or YouTube clip of the car they dream of owning one day. They scoff at the speed limit, have at least three points on their driving license and watch Formula One as if it's actually interesting.
These people are awful. Jeremy Clarkson is an example of a famous automophile.
by MagickDio July 12, 2011
Get the Automophilemug. someone who is otherwise unemployed, and spends their entire waking life trawling the internet for free pornography.
"Since Gary lost his job, he has become a full time Internet Explorer"
"Don't be an internet explorer all your life. Get some real sex"
"Don't be an internet explorer all your life. Get some real sex"
by MagickDio February 6, 2010
Get the Internet Explorermug. 1. A word used to express total annoyance
2. A word used to describe those who have caused you total annoyance.
3. A group of teenage idiots that hang around shopping centres, swearing, spitting and acting hyper.
2. A word used to describe those who have caused you total annoyance.
3. A group of teenage idiots that hang around shopping centres, swearing, spitting and acting hyper.
1. " My internet connection has gone again! FUCKSTICKS!!"
2. "My energy company sent me an estimated bill for about 5 times more than is humanly possible to consume. Fucksticks!"
3. Tina decided to use the south entrance to the mall, owing to the high concentration of fucksticks spitting and leaping about outside the north entrance.
2. "My energy company sent me an estimated bill for about 5 times more than is humanly possible to consume. Fucksticks!"
3. Tina decided to use the south entrance to the mall, owing to the high concentration of fucksticks spitting and leaping about outside the north entrance.
by MagickDio April 24, 2010
Get the Fucksticks!mug.