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magickdio's definitions

Spandle

Verb- When someone manhandles your possessions in a spasticated manner, causing them to cease functioning correctly or wrecking them altogther.

For example, if someone were to pick up your new iphone, press a few things in an ill educated manner and return it, only for you to find later that you can no longer call anywhere except Greece, they will have seriously spandled it.
You're not touching it, you spandle everything.
by MagickDio June 21, 2011
mugGet the Spandlemug.

Winter Tears

When the cold weather or a gust of wind forces your eyes to water and hot tears to spill down your cheeks, prompting people to ask "What's the matter?!"

Winter Tears could be an acceptable to use if you don't actually want people to know you're crying. However, during an episode of genuine Winter Tears, there are those that won't believe you weren't sobbing. Thus, the Winter Tears phenomenon is dreaded by young males.
"What's the matter?"
"Don't worry, it's just winter tears"
by MagickDio September 22, 2011
mugGet the Winter Tearsmug.

Big Jazz

1) A sarcastic term used to describe something or someone that others clearly thinks is great, but is actually fairly sub standard. (Not unlike a lot of jazz)

2) A description for the fuss people make about something that's hardly worth mentioning. (Like the latest jazz album.)
1) "I got a new puppy!"
"Big Jazz! I got a new shotgun. Shall we get the two of them together?"

2) "So the bride walked down the aisle and everyone went "Ahhhhhh". All I could think was- "Big Jazz... she looks like an iced gem."
by MagickDio April 19, 2010
mugGet the Big Jazzmug.

Estevezed

1) To have the fact that you are worthy of notice totally eclipsed by a drunken, marauding family member who everyone seems to love, despite the fact that they're a sure candidate for the fires of hell. Comes from the glaringly obvious fact that Charlie Sheen gets way more publicity for being a cock than Emilio Estevez (his well behaved, better acting brother) gets for being a decent bloke!

2) When you're constantly asked by your family members just why you cannot be more like your law abiding sibling, you're being estevezed, as one imagines Charlie Sheen must be- constantly.

3) When a celebrity who has done something worthwhile is thrust out of the media spotlight by a fame hungry, coke snorting, binge drinking whore's most recent bender.
1) I'm sick of being Estevezed by my crack dealing older sister.

2) I'm happy living in a burnt out car, ok?! I don't want a nice house and nice kids like my brother, I'm sick of being Estevezed by you guys!!

3) Prince William's wedding is likely to be Estevezed by Jordan and her ilk.
by MagickDio April 2, 2011
mugGet the Estevezedmug.

Priestly Fuck

1- An act of intercourse where the male involved seems completely switched off from the idea that the woman is meant to be getting pleasure, and instead simply gallops towards the semen depositing finale. It leaves the woman feeling like she may as well have been elsewhere. This is a priestly fuck, as one imagines that's exactly how a priest would do it- with as little extra contact as possible so as to make it less of a sin.

2- That guy who disapproves of everything you do that he can't, much like a priest does. He's the bloke who feels it necessary to make himself look better than you by reacting with disgust and incredulous disbelief when hearing of your exploits. He's a priestly fuck, that one. He probably wanks and cries over tales of his mate's debauchery.
1- "I thought you liked Tim, why did you split up?"

"Well, he was a good guy outside of the bedroom, but once we got in there, he subjected me to the most priestly fuck ever, and didn't show any interest in trying again. It's over."

2- Tom- "So I shagged them both. You only live once, right?"

(The assembled mates laugh and agree, gazing at Tom in awe. All except for one.)

Ross- "You ought to be ashamed of yourself"

(Ross gets up and goes to the bar, shaking his head and tutting. The men sit and reel in disbelief)

Tom- "Priestly Fuck!"
by MagickDio May 20, 2010
mugGet the Priestly Fuckmug.

Magical Mummy

Non existent ideal. The term embodies the unrealistic expectations of magazines/society/men when it comes to mothers. Magical Mummy can cook, clean, do arts and crafts with the kiddies, sew, wash, walk the dog and fuck like a pornstar without even ruffling her perfect hair. She is never to be found languishing on the sofa whilst the kids run riot, nor does she drink wine and sob in the evenings, looking at the pile of ironing and wondering what the fuck happened to her life.

Most men will claim to their wives (in a foolish attempt to create their prefect world) that their own mothers attained Magical Mummy status.
"He asked me why I hadn't been able to iron his uniform as well as make the dinner and clean the kitchen. As if I'm some kind of Magical Mummy!"

"I told him to piss off to his Magical Mummy, and let her run around like a twat for him"

"Make your own dinner, I'm busy doing this! I'm not your Magical Mummy!"
by MagickDio February 5, 2010
mugGet the Magical Mummymug.

Oven Eye

Oven Eye occurs when a female wearing mascara opens an oven door and bends to peer in instantly, before allowing the steam to escape. The resulting rush of moist heat to the face causes the mascara to react and seriously clump the eyelashes together, making it appear that each eye has a few short, black horns per eyelid, instead of curling, dark lashes.
"Bollocks! I'm going to have to go and do my makeup again, I've got oven eye!"

"Check out those false eyelashes, she looks like she's got oven eye"
by MagickDio February 6, 2010
mugGet the Oven Eyemug.

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