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magickdio's definitions

Carkles

Those odd pinpricks of sparkling light that fill your vision before you pass out, and linger in your sights for at least 10 minutes after you've come round.
"Mate, I can't drink any more! I'm getting carkles!"

"I don't know if we can move him yet. Ask him if he still has carkles"
by MagickDio February 6, 2010
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McWedding

An extremely low budget affair that strives unsuccessfully to look classier than it is. Most do stop short of actually holding their wedding reception in MacDonalds, but if you've ever attended a reception similar to the one about to be described, rest assured, you have attended a "McWedding"

The bride and groom are both dressed in suits or in wedding clothes that were made around 25 years ago. The reception is held in a pub function room or community hall (not bad in itself) and is decorated with a few mismatched balloons, streamers, party poppers, paper tablecloths and weird papery swans and bells (very very bad). The food was clearly made by a team of aging female relatives with no concept of hygiene, and consists of rapidly drying tuna, ham and cheese sandwiches, copious amounts of cheese and pineapple on sticks, lots of quiche and breadsticks and platters of chicken nuggets. Confetti is all around every dish to make it look as if it's of higher quality. There is a DJ with about 3 lights and just as many CD's. There is no open bar. Children run about, fighting and crying because they're so bored. Adults run about, fighting and crying and drinking because they're so bored.
"I've still got food poisoning and a black eye from Pete and Sal's McWedding at the weekend. Shittest thing I've ever been to."
by MagickDio March 15, 2010
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Salty Bargain

1) Snacks or otherwise salty goods that are purchased for a much lower price than they would ordinarily retail for.

2) Revenge that happened too quickly to be served cold, or taste sweet. It might have been done differently to how you wanted it, but it was still tasty and cost you much less time and effort than other methods. Salty bargain!!
1) Look at this half price gammon. Salty bargain!!

2) I was going to torture her for years with the idea that Imight tell her husband and eventually make her cave in and tell him herself. But then I just emailed him. Salty bargain.
by MagickDio September 22, 2011
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Wrands

When someone is so fat that their wrists and hands merge, this person has "wrands". Wrands usually have that fold of flesh, making it appear as if the person is wearing a meaty jumper. Cute on a baby, absolutely vile on an adult. Wrandy folk love pie, and are rarely seen without food of some kind, even though they insist their disgusting, morbid weight problem is "glandular"
"Sarah's mum has got raging wrands! Did you notice?"
"Yeah, I shuddered when she touched me"
by MagickDio March 7, 2010
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Fuckjobbing

1) Putting a large amount of effort into doing something badly. More often than not, unintentionally. People that are doing the fuck jobs rarely see their utter abortions as anything except works of art.

2) When you injure yourself spectacularly in an incredibly stupid fashion.
1) The men watched, transfixed. Even after their handy hints, Sheila continued fuckjobbing the Creosote and gazing appreciatively at the terrible mess.

2) Sorry I didn't text you back. It was due to me fuckjobbing my finger by poking the blades on my blender when it was plugged in.
by MagickDio July 6, 2011
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Fucksticks!

1. A word used to express total annoyance

2. A word used to describe those who have caused you total annoyance.

3. A group of teenage idiots that hang around shopping centres, swearing, spitting and acting hyper.
1. " My internet connection has gone again! FUCKSTICKS!!"

2. "My energy company sent me an estimated bill for about 5 times more than is humanly possible to consume. Fucksticks!"

3. Tina decided to use the south entrance to the mall, owing to the high concentration of fucksticks spitting and leaping about outside the north entrance.
by MagickDio April 24, 2010
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Weejaculation

When you've been dying for a piss for ages but have had to hold it in due to being in a crowded bar/talked to/nowhere near a toilet or shop doorway, the eventual act of urination can only be described as Weejaculation. Not only because of the speed that the fluid exits ones body, but because of the sensation produced. Makes people say "ahhhhhhhhhhhh" with their eyes closed and their head tilted back in sheer ecstacy.
"I've been in this toilet queue for 20 minutes, it's just gonna be weejaculation when I get in there."
by MagickDio March 4, 2010
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