38 definitions by krakky mckraken
1. (verb) The act of stumbling over an invisible bump in the floor.
2. (noun) The sound one makes when skumping. Usually sounds like a simian grunt.
3. (proper verb) A highly exaggerated form of stumbling performed by a Scape (or Skape). *Perform* is the operative word here. An ordinary scump is more than a regular trip or bump anyway. When done by a Scape, Scumping (note the capitalization) involves wild gestures, blood-curdling shrieks of terror and pain. It is always followed by imaginary injuries and paranoid accusations.
While a normal scump could be the result of tripping over a previously-unseen bump, a Scump is always done for attention and never involves any physical contact, except whatever the Scape ends up falling into (a barrel, a shelf, a table, etc). A Scump has no discernible cause, though the Scape usually tries to blame them on a roadblock of some sort which was purposely left in its way. If ignored, a Scump will be forgotten, though it might resurface in future tales.
Usual suspect causes of a Scump include tables, barrels on the other side of the room, cracks in the floor, and errant dust particles.
2. (noun) The sound one makes when skumping. Usually sounds like a simian grunt.
3. (proper verb) A highly exaggerated form of stumbling performed by a Scape (or Skape). *Perform* is the operative word here. An ordinary scump is more than a regular trip or bump anyway. When done by a Scape, Scumping (note the capitalization) involves wild gestures, blood-curdling shrieks of terror and pain. It is always followed by imaginary injuries and paranoid accusations.
While a normal scump could be the result of tripping over a previously-unseen bump, a Scump is always done for attention and never involves any physical contact, except whatever the Scape ends up falling into (a barrel, a shelf, a table, etc). A Scump has no discernible cause, though the Scape usually tries to blame them on a roadblock of some sort which was purposely left in its way. If ignored, a Scump will be forgotten, though it might resurface in future tales.
Usual suspect causes of a Scump include tables, barrels on the other side of the room, cracks in the floor, and errant dust particles.
1. "Hey, Zeke, what happened?"
"I was headed to the conference room, and suddenly I tripped on a scump."
2. (Walking across the hall)
"Hey, Clem! How're you - ooffff! Scump!"
3. "Someone must have put that table in my way on purpose, because I never saw it before and I fell and..."
"Oh, great. The Scape just Scumped again."
"I was headed to the conference room, and suddenly I tripped on a scump."
2. (Walking across the hall)
"Hey, Clem! How're you - ooffff! Scump!"
3. "Someone must have put that table in my way on purpose, because I never saw it before and I fell and..."
"Oh, great. The Scape just Scumped again."
by krakky mckraken September 3, 2006
The shrivelled, atrophied penis of a sick twisted disturbed fuck. All that comes out is a tiny drop of a congealed yellow liquid, created from years of disuse.
Zeke: Why did Lenny just run into his office and close the door?
Clyde: Did he have his mail with him?
Zeke: Yeah.
Clyde: Ah, then it must be time to whip out the ol' purple inchworm for a grueling hour of futile jackin' off.
Clyde: Did he have his mail with him?
Zeke: Yeah.
Clyde: Ah, then it must be time to whip out the ol' purple inchworm for a grueling hour of futile jackin' off.
by krakky mckraken August 4, 2007
This is called "Hai-poo #5."
I have to poop
It shall come out like soup
It did once when I had the croup
Then again, it was more like goop
Boop-boop-be-doop.
I have to poop
It shall come out like soup
It did once when I had the croup
Then again, it was more like goop
Boop-boop-be-doop.
by krakky mckraken October 2, 2005
A name for a hillbilly, particularly ones from mountain country. Examples include Clem, Bocephus, and Zeke. Female Appalachian Appellations include Daisy & Ellie Mae. Of course, hillbillies do not use the term themselves, since they can't pronounce the word APPELLATION.
"Hi, I'm Bocephus Billy-Bob Burgundy."
"What kind of name of Bocephus?"
"Why, that thar's a Appalachian Appellation."
"What kind of name of Bocephus?"
"Why, that thar's a Appalachian Appellation."
by krakky mckraken August 6, 2006
by krakky mckraken June 21, 2009
Facially porcine middle manager with greasy skin and absolutely no tact or common sense. Nasty, ill-tempered, whiny, hypocritical, and nonsensical. Lies constantly. Expects employees to violate the laws of physics, time & space, in order to get things done. Basically one of Tolkien's Orcs come to life.
Clyde: This is ridiculous. Joan wants me to move every box on the fifth floor and she want it done in the next twenty minutes! There's over 300 boxes! Why does she do this?
Zeke: Because she's a Pork Orc. Pork Orc! Pork Orc!
Zeke: Because she's a Pork Orc. Pork Orc! Pork Orc!
by krakky mckraken November 5, 2006
Fat creature which is ordinarily tame but occasionally bursts into psychotic rages for no apparent reason.
Clyde: What the hell happened to you?!
Zeke: Good god, all I said was I didn't like eating at that new restaurant and she turned into a friggin' psychopotamus!
Zeke: Good god, all I said was I didn't like eating at that new restaurant and she turned into a friggin' psychopotamus!
by krakky mckraken November 12, 2006