kevnar's definitions

Stand-by

(noun) Synonymous with booty call and FWB, a girl who you're not in a relationship with, but who will drop everything and come over to have sex with you the minute you ask. She is said to be standing-by, just waiting for your call, shelved as it were. A stand-by is usually a girl who really likes you and wants to be in a relationship with you, and keeps putting out, hoping you'll change your mind, and you just keep stringing her along for the easy sex. Women can have stand-bys too, but its usually more about dating than sex for them.

1. Daniel: "Man, am I ever horny tonight!"
Jonas: "Don't you have any stand-bys? Call up that Andrea chick. She'll come over and do you."

2. Krista: "I have no one to go to the dance with on Friday!"
Marie: "Call Keith. Isn't he your regular stand-by?"

by kevnar February 17, 2007

I Know This Guy

An "I know this guy" story is a bullshit story where one person thinks up something funny, cool, gross, weird, or sexy, but essentially untrue, and tries to pass it off as true by framing it as if it happened to someone they supposedly know. It's similar to the "I have this friend" story, where someone asks for advice about a problem that's really about them but they're too embarrassed to say so. "I know this guy" stories are purely about entertainment, however, not about seeking advice.

Jerry: "I know this guy... he caught his sister having sex with their cousin and two friends in their uncle's bed."
Joe: "Sure, Jerry. You *know* this guy. Riiight."
Jerry: "I swear! It's true!"
Joe: "Bullshit. What was the guy's name then?"
Jerry: "Well I don't *know* him, but I heard about it."
Joe: "Sure you did. Sick pervert."

by kevnar February 19, 2007

I have this friend

An "I have this friend" story, is a story where someone asks for advice about a problem that's really about them, but they're too embarrassed to say so. They're similar to "I know this guy" stories where one person thinks up something funny, cool, gross, weird, or sexy, but essentially untrue, and tries to pass it off as true by framing it as if it happened to someone they supposedly know. "I have this friend" stories are about seeking advice about an embarrassing problem however, not about entertainment.

Janet: "I need your opinion about something."
Mary: "What's up?"
Janet: "Well, I have this friend... She's thinking about cheating on her boyfriend with an old flame who called her up last week. She's not sure what she should do about it."
Mary: "Oh my God, Janet! Chris called you last week!?"
Janet: "It's not about me! It's a friend of mine!"
Mary: "Sure it is. Just make sure Tom doesn't find out."

by kevnar February 20, 2007

Where the hell's this god of yours?

From Forest Gump. Said to someone who predicted or promised something that never quite showed up, as in the mountains of shrimp Forest prayed for. The implication is that it may show up yet, but you doubt it.

Robert: "You said it was supposed to be sunny today? Where the hell's this god of yours?"

John: "You gotta see this guitar player, man! He's like better than Jimmy Page!"
Tim (forty-five minutes later): "Where the hell's this god of yours?""

by Kevnar January 28, 2008

pain-body

From the philosophy of best-selling author and spiritualist Eckhart Tolle, a pain-body is the collective manifestation of all the pain, misery, and sorrow a person has ever gone through their entire life, and all the things they inherited from their culture and family history as well. A person's pain-body feeds and strengthens itself by making themselves and others miserable. Tolle suggests that when someone is trying to pick a fight with you, piss you off, or just generally be a nuisance, it's simply their pain-body trying to feed. When someone is constantly on your ass about something, trying desperately to make your life miserable, they're said to have a very dense pain-body.

John: "Man, that Mary-ann is a walking pain-body if I ever saw one. She's been trying to piss me off all day."

Pete: "Then you probably shouldn't have married the bitch, huh?"

John: "Fuck you."

by Kevnar May 4, 2008

pregame

A term used by alcoholics who need to be drunk in order to have a good time. They chug their own bottles before going to an event to get a buzz on. And then they drive half drunk to the event and drink some more. Fun. Wee.

"Dude, are we gonna pregame before the bar? Drinks are so expensive!"
"Let's drive down there and pregame in the parking lot."
"That's lame, man!"
"At least we won't pulled over by the cops."

by kevnar April 5, 2008

TFN

"They're fucked now..." Muttered in a movie theater at a point in the show when imminent doom descends upon a group of characters. Or, if it's only one person, HFN or SFN for "He's fucked now" or "She's fucked now".

Dan: "Ha ha! The bomb's gonna go off on 15 seconds and they just dropped the wire cutters down the sewer drain!"
Bill: "Ha ha! TFN!"

Gary: "Hanging onto the cliff with bloody fingernails, and the bad guy steps up with a shotgun. HFN..."

by kevnar April 5, 2008