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jsd9632's definitions

jesus retard

A person raised by bible thumping religious fanatics who is incapable of creating a complete sentence without using the words "jesus", "god", "sinner", "salvation," or "amen."

An unbalanced individual who speaks of jesus in such an intimate manner that it becomes uncomfortable to the point you want to vomit then they show you thier jesus tattoo.

A coworker who feels he is ordained by god to leave religious material in the bathrooms, lunchroom, the bulletin boards and your desk.

The cute girl at work that you at one time you briefly considered joining her church in hopes of banging her but decided it would be too wierd to hear her screaming for jesus while you do her. Whose desk looks like an altar and ends every sentence with the phrase "jesus loves you!"

The creepy neighbor who waits for you too come home every day so they can tell you they spent the day praying for your salvation and that your girlfriend is a wanton slut who sleeps in satan's bed.
Office worker 1: "Who put all the religious crap all over the bathroom?"
Office worker 2: "That's Justin's doing, the creepy guy from the mail room with the jesus tattoo."
Office worker 1: "I should kick his ass!"
Office worker 2: "It would not do any good, he would just ask god to forgive you, he's a jesus retard."
by jsd9632 October 20, 2012
mugGet the jesus retardmug.

pud pounder

A masterbater.
Someone with no control over their desire to jack off.
A guy with a high desire to ejaculate.
A male who would rather jack off then go meet women for possible sex.
Boss: "Where's Jeffery?"
Worker: " You mean jism jacking Jeff? He stayed home to jack off today, the fucking pud pounder."
by jsd9632 January 7, 2012
mugGet the pud poundermug.

hoover lips

A person with a set of lips that resemble a vacuum cleaner.
A cocksucker that can attach thier lips to a dick with the force
of shop vac.
A woman who can cause instant ejaculation just by placing her
ample lips around a cock.
I just got the blowjob of a lifetime from hoover lips.
by jsd9632 August 14, 2012
mugGet the hoover lipsmug.

eat me

A phrase made famous by the 1970's movie Animal House.
The Delta House members converted a 1960's Lincoln in to
a parade float shaped like a cake with the words "Eat Me"
written like frosting across the front.
A phrase often found on etch a sketchs in toy stores.
A greater insult than bite me.
by jsd9632 September 27, 2012
mugGet the eat memug.

ass taxi

When someone's behind is so large that it would require a seperate conveyance to carry it around.
An electric cart available at Wal Mart or other large retail outlets for obese pigs to carry their wide load butts around the store.
"Junior! Run into the store and go get your mama an ass taxi,
while I find a handicap spot."
by jsd9632 January 6, 2012
mugGet the ass taximug.

Joanna'd

From the Home & Garden TV show Fixer Upper starring Chip & Joanna Gaines.

Chip remodels homes and Joanna furnishes & decorates them. Joanna has a tendency
to want to fill every square inch of the house with furniture, antiques, nic nacs, found

objects & junk. To Joanna'd something is to overdo, overstuff, overfill, overfurnish or
overstage a space. She famously had a crew member drive large screws into a freshly
painted wall so she could hang a rusty bicycle. When the homeowner saw it she looked

like she was going to have a stroke.
The house was so Joanna'd up the homeowner took one look and vomited.
by jsd9632 November 20, 2021
mugGet the Joanna'dmug.

ass mugger

A thief who forcibly takes liberties with your behind.
See butt bandit.
"I was walking down the street minding my own business when
this ass mugger got me."
by jsd9632 February 4, 2012
mugGet the ass muggermug.

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