josjr's definitions

carbon dickprint

The amount of money an individual or corporation is screwed out of by it's so called "carbon footprint"

1.The carbon dickprint to my utility bill is $40 a month.

2. Under the proposed cap and tax legislation, XYZ's carbon dickprint will be $10,000,000 a year.

by josjr March 29, 2010

Manualsexual

A person who likes to masturbate.

Joe isn't gay or straight, he's a manualsexual.

by josjr March 14, 2007

porcelain time

The time spent in a restroom using the toilet.

"Where's Bob?"

"He's been in the bathroom for the last twenty minutes."

"Whoa, that's a lot of porcelain time!"

by josjr December 28, 2009

labtyd

Acronym for 'Life's A Bitch, Then You Die'. Pronounced LAB-TIE-DEE. A flippant way to tell someone "That's too bad."

Worker: How come I always get the hard assingments and you get the easy ones?

Co-Worker: Labtyd

by josjr January 27, 2009

gladhand

1. The part of an air brake system used to hook the truck to the trailer.

2. The hand a wanker uses.

Trucker Bob connected the gladhands to the trailer, then used his gladhand to yank his crank.

by josjr July 30, 2007

sofa surfing

Living or traveling rent free by sleeping on the sofa of friends or relatives.

I saved a bunch of money by sofa surfing my vacation across the country.

by josjr May 31, 2007

gue

Acronym for 'Go Ugly Early'. A getting laid technique for men. Rather than spend an inordinate amount of time and money on a beautiful, or good-looking woman, in a bar, to Gue would be to pick out the ugliest woman and woo her early before all the guys who got shot down on better looking women come after her.

Male friend 1: Check out the hot chick over there, are you going to hit on her?

Male fried 2: Naw, I want a sure thing, so it's gue for me tonight.

by josjr December 14, 2008