Definitions by joel67

carpe dude'm 

Seizing the opportunity to date a guy as soon as he becomes available.

Mindy: "I heard John finally broke up with Ashley! I'm going to get on that right away... Carpe dude'm!"

Candace: Ah, yes. That's latin for "slut," right?

carpe dude'm by joel67 January 25, 2011

Twitter balance 

Maintaining a Twitter balance: having more followers than people you are following.

Uhhh I would follow you, but that would throw off my Twitter balance.

Twitter balance by Joel67 December 3, 2010

foodie porn 

Foodie porn is comparable to the concept of "regular" porn, in which the viewer pleasures themselves while viewing sexual content.

Instead of pleasuring oneself, the viewer consumes food while watching attractive presentation of food being prepared/consumed on-screen.

Foodie 1: Oh, my God. Did you see Hell's Kitchen on the Food Network last night? I had a lightly braised halibut filet with dill sauce accompanied by some lovely asparagus and mixed greens.

Foodie 2: Oh, you know it baby. When they made that filet mignon, I just couldn't look away. Total foodie porn.

foodie porn by Joel67 April 19, 2009

vag badge 

A badge gay men can proudly wear, once they have had sexual experiences with women.

"Greg is such a flamer... He doesn't even have his vag badge!"

vag badge by Joel67 August 12, 2008

penis cleavage 

The oblique/lower abdominal muscles that guys have near their hips. Also known as d'angelo muscles.

"When the male model pulled his jeans lower, everyone could see his penis cleavage."

penis cleavage by Joel67 January 28, 2008

Penelope 

A character off a popular skit on SNL, (Saturday Night Live.) She is the ultimate one-upper, and always strokes her hair while telling you how much better she is than you.

Girl: "I just had a baby! I'm so happy."
Penelope: "Well I just had three babies and a cat... Yeah, they're all perfect and I'm ecstatic..."

Penelope by Joel67 January 3, 2008

muppetable 

Someone who could easily be transformed into a muppet. Often someone with greatly exaggerated features, like crazy hair, a big nose, etc.

"With his huge nose and wild and crazy hair, Dave is quite muppetable."

muppetable by Joel67 December 25, 2007