19 definitions by jazzriff
The Church of Voodoo Pharmacology is a popular and global cult which holds the paranoid belief that all scientific studies regarding illegal drugs are liberal conspiracies and thus completely false, and that all illegal drugs are without exception Satanic, immoral, life-ruining, addictive, and deadly. The actions of this cult are oriented towards demonizing and incarcerating all illegal drug users, and in some cases removing them from the earth in some type of Holocaust (see Rush Limbaugh). They strongly and unquestionably support the war on drugs. The official term for all those who disagree with them in any way is "pro-drug."
Many organizations are involved in this cult, including the PDFA, ONDCP, DEA, UN, Republicans, and various pharmaceutical companies, as well as almost all fundie groups. The cult has no official leadership, but the US government and UN share most of the administrative duties.
The cult was founded by Harry J. Anslinger (also first head of the DEA), who was mainly responsible, through the successful use of propaganda, for the national and subsequently global criminalization of marijuana (globally criminalized through U.N. conventions). He was well-known for his racism and violent hatred of jazz, as well as his hypocrisy, reversing his position on the effects of marijuana from the claim that it would make you murderous to the claim that it would make you absolutely useless. This led some to conclude that he was hepped up on goofballs. Some enlightening quotes from him are below.
Many organizations are involved in this cult, including the PDFA, ONDCP, DEA, UN, Republicans, and various pharmaceutical companies, as well as almost all fundie groups. The cult has no official leadership, but the US government and UN share most of the administrative duties.
The cult was founded by Harry J. Anslinger (also first head of the DEA), who was mainly responsible, through the successful use of propaganda, for the national and subsequently global criminalization of marijuana (globally criminalized through U.N. conventions). He was well-known for his racism and violent hatred of jazz, as well as his hypocrisy, reversing his position on the effects of marijuana from the claim that it would make you murderous to the claim that it would make you absolutely useless. This led some to conclude that he was hepped up on goofballs. Some enlightening quotes from him are below.
"Reefer makes darkies think they're as good as white men." (1929)
"There are 100,000 total marijuana smokers in the US, and most are Negroes, Hispanics, Filipinos, and entertainers. Their Satanic music, jazz, and swing, result from marijuana use. This marijuana causes white women to seek sexual relations with Negroes, entertainers, and any others."
"...the primary reason to outlaw marijuana is its effect on the degenerate races." (taken from his testimony to Congress)
"Marijuana is an addictive drug which produces in its users insanity, criminality, and death."
"You smoke a joint and you're likely to kill your brother."
"Marihuana leads to pacifism and communist brainwashing." (1948)
The Church of Voodoo Pharmacology continues to be well known for hypocrisy, racism, and an obsession with marijuana.
"There are 100,000 total marijuana smokers in the US, and most are Negroes, Hispanics, Filipinos, and entertainers. Their Satanic music, jazz, and swing, result from marijuana use. This marijuana causes white women to seek sexual relations with Negroes, entertainers, and any others."
"...the primary reason to outlaw marijuana is its effect on the degenerate races." (taken from his testimony to Congress)
"Marijuana is an addictive drug which produces in its users insanity, criminality, and death."
"You smoke a joint and you're likely to kill your brother."
"Marihuana leads to pacifism and communist brainwashing." (1948)
The Church of Voodoo Pharmacology continues to be well known for hypocrisy, racism, and an obsession with marijuana.
by jazzriff October 12, 2005
Technical (boring) definition: Jazz is a now-unpopular genre of music, encompassing several distinct styles, developed for the most part by black men in American cities over the course of the 20th century. Jazz in general is characterized by the following:
-improvised solos (though they can also be written out beforehand, and, especially when recorded, are often somewhat planned out)
-a rhythm section consisting of bass, drums, piano and sometimes guitar
-syncopation
-bass lines which are improvised to fit the chords, usually with one note on every downbeat, and which rarely, if ever, stop
-an uneven style of playing eighth notes so that the downbeat lasts roughly twice as long as the upbeat (this is known as "swing" eight notes)
-extended chords (7th, 9th, 11th, and 13th chords) as pioneered by 19th century composers in the classical "impressionist" movement
-4/4 time
-the common lack of vocals
-2 common song forms: the traditional 32-bar AABA song form, and the 12-bar blues form
Colloquial (less boring) definitions:
“Jazz,” originally a noun used mainly in Harlem in the beginning of the 20th century to mean “sexual intercourse,” is also used as a verb in the phrase “to jazz (something) up,” meaning to add style, individuality, soul, or passion to something.
"If haven't figured it out by now, you'll never know."
-Louis Armstrong
"The say music speaks louder than words, so I'll just let the music speak for itself."
-Charlie Parker
-improvised solos (though they can also be written out beforehand, and, especially when recorded, are often somewhat planned out)
-a rhythm section consisting of bass, drums, piano and sometimes guitar
-syncopation
-bass lines which are improvised to fit the chords, usually with one note on every downbeat, and which rarely, if ever, stop
-an uneven style of playing eighth notes so that the downbeat lasts roughly twice as long as the upbeat (this is known as "swing" eight notes)
-extended chords (7th, 9th, 11th, and 13th chords) as pioneered by 19th century composers in the classical "impressionist" movement
-4/4 time
-the common lack of vocals
-2 common song forms: the traditional 32-bar AABA song form, and the 12-bar blues form
Colloquial (less boring) definitions:
“Jazz,” originally a noun used mainly in Harlem in the beginning of the 20th century to mean “sexual intercourse,” is also used as a verb in the phrase “to jazz (something) up,” meaning to add style, individuality, soul, or passion to something.
"If haven't figured it out by now, you'll never know."
-Louis Armstrong
"The say music speaks louder than words, so I'll just let the music speak for itself."
-Charlie Parker
by jazzriff October 11, 2005
The ONDCP, or Office of National Drug Control Policy, is a hate group and propaganda organization similar to the PDFA, except that it is a part of the U.S. government and thus gets massive taxpayer funding. They advocate the same things as the PDFA, including the parenting tactic of spying on your kids. There is so much similarity between the PDFA and the ONDCP that there are very few people alive who can tell the difference anymore. I am not one of these people; thus anything on the PDFA page is probably true of the ONDCP as well (and not necessarily true of the PDFA, but probably). They are part of the Church of Voodoo Pharmacology, the same cult as the PDFA and DEA.
ONDCP: Calling drug users terrorists isn't working! We blame the terrorists and the liberals! Give us more money to do the same thing louder and more frequently!
U.S. government: That'll show them pro-drug types!
U.S. government: That'll show them pro-drug types!
by jazzriff October 12, 2005
Strangely, "bastardly" is not a word, but the same meaning is served by the term "dastardly." Once a serious insult, dastardly is now almost always used sarcastically. If used seriously, the speaker is most likely a nancy boy and/or fop. It is generally used in the phrase "dastardly deed(s)."
Fundie: You are the spawn of Satan! Repent and be saved!
Goth: Yep, you know me and my dastardly deeds (laughs).
Goth: Yep, you know me and my dastardly deeds (laughs).
by jazzriff October 13, 2005
In fundie folklore, the lib'ral is a legendary animal of unkown origin, with supernatural powers which it uses to exclusively evil ends. Many ancient anecdotes relate the power of the lib'ral to control the minds of others, and as the legends go, this power is mainly used to distort the media's depiction of reality. How this feat is achieved is not understood, as it has often been observed that media outlets are more often owned by Republicans. According to legend, the lib'ral often enjoys using its considerable powers for the following other dastardly deeds (this is not a complete list:
-supporting terrorism
-questioning the administration
-eating babies
-legalizing drugs (oddly, these attempts have not yet been successful)
-raising taxes
-reducing average personal hygiene
-getting 10-year-olds addicted to crack
-stealing vintage automobiles, and using them to committing fornication frequently and easily
-human sacrifice
Practically any mishap or problem in the life of the Republican can and will be blamed on the lib'rals.
-supporting terrorism
-questioning the administration
-eating babies
-legalizing drugs (oddly, these attempts have not yet been successful)
-raising taxes
-reducing average personal hygiene
-getting 10-year-olds addicted to crack
-stealing vintage automobiles, and using them to committing fornication frequently and easily
-human sacrifice
Practically any mishap or problem in the life of the Republican can and will be blamed on the lib'rals.
Pete: You seen that news report today on (insert channel here)?
Jerry: It almost made them Muslims look like human beings! Damn them lib'rals in the media!
Vern: Dang, Joe-Bob, someone done run off with mah wife, my hounds and mah penis enlarger pump!
Joe-Bob: It's them lib'rals at work again!
Jerry: It almost made them Muslims look like human beings! Damn them lib'rals in the media!
Vern: Dang, Joe-Bob, someone done run off with mah wife, my hounds and mah penis enlarger pump!
Joe-Bob: It's them lib'rals at work again!
by jazzriff October 12, 2005
Fop might as well be an acronym for Fashion-Obsessed Prick. A fop is someone who is obsessed with (and thus always wears) expensive, fancy clothes, and with appearances in general and other meaningless bullshit. Sometimes a fop's clothing and jewelry simply appears expensive and is in fact worth jack shit.
Jerry Seinfeld looked like a fucking fop when he wore that fluffy shirt in that one episode. You know the one.
by jazzriff October 12, 2005
1)The philosophy held by douchebags, holding that no one other than themselves (or perhaps their close associates) matters in the least bit, and thus that other human beings can and should be treated like complete excrement for little or no reason (and often for selfish reasons). Closely related to fascism, which has been practiced by control freaks such as Adolf Hitler.
2)The act of putting this philosophy into practice.
2)The act of putting this philosophy into practice.
1)Some notable (historical and otherwise) adherents of douchebaggery: Josef Stalin, Mao Tse Tung, George W. Bush, Adolf Hitler, Andrew Jackson, George Lincoln Rockwell, Saddam Hussein, Osama bin Laden, Richard Nixon, Ronald Reagan
2)Examples of douchebaggery in practice, varying in scope and intensity (in the order of the above adherents): fascism; violent political oppression; winning an election through obvious fraud and subsequently invading Iraq based on admitted lies; the Holocaust; the genocide of the Native Americans; the founding of the American Nazi Party; more violent political oppression; declaring jihad on an entire country and slaughtering 3,000 innocent cubicle workers as part of it; declaring a War on Drugs based largely on the delusion that "every one of those goddamn bastards out to legalize marijuana is a Jew" (direct quote from President Richard Nixon); treating the Constitution and the natural environment as a set of obstacles to be overcome.
2)Examples of douchebaggery in practice, varying in scope and intensity (in the order of the above adherents): fascism; violent political oppression; winning an election through obvious fraud and subsequently invading Iraq based on admitted lies; the Holocaust; the genocide of the Native Americans; the founding of the American Nazi Party; more violent political oppression; declaring jihad on an entire country and slaughtering 3,000 innocent cubicle workers as part of it; declaring a War on Drugs based largely on the delusion that "every one of those goddamn bastards out to legalize marijuana is a Jew" (direct quote from President Richard Nixon); treating the Constitution and the natural environment as a set of obstacles to be overcome.
by jazzriff October 12, 2005