18 definitions by jay-x

Top Definition
1. Short for "full-close" or "fuck-close" in the PUA (Pick-Up Artist) community.
2. When you meet a girl and end up having sex with her by applying PUA techniques.
PUA1: Debrief.
PUA2: Two F-close's, one number close.
by jay-x April 25, 2008
Born in China (200 B.C.E.) and pressumed to be killed in San Francisco, CA (1986), Lo-Pan is THE ultimate manifestation of ass-kickering and pwnage. Once a great warrior, Lo-Pan was cursed with the curse of "No Flesh" by the First Sovereign Emperor Qin Shi Huang. Although Lo-Pan can be temporarily granted a decrepit body by supplication to the gods, in order to permanently break the curse and regain his human form, he must marry a woman with green eyes. Simply marrying her will please Ching Dai, the God of the East. But to satisfy the Emperor, he must sacrifice her.

Not only a centuries-old ass kicker, Lo-Pan is an entrepreneur and gansta. Under the fake and fiendlishly clever alias of "David Lo-Pan", he is the head of the Wing Kong Import-Export Trading Company and the head of the street gang, the "Wing Kong". Lo-Pan is also responsible for the assassination of the leader of the Chang Sings, a rival street gang who had absolutly no idea how brutally badass Lo-Pan was.

Among Lo-Pan's amazingly kickass skills are the use of the "Needle of Love" to marry any bitch he wants to, the ability to deflect crystal missiles, Lvl. 73 Green Beam Projection, and materialization of Chinese warriors with swords.
Lo-Pan = massive pwnage
by jay-x April 28, 2008
1. Military jargon meaning friendly fire.
2. When your own guys shoot you by accident (or "accident").
"...His target being a human, generally an enemy but sometimes a friend or friendly. We call this frinedly fire, or friendly fucking or getting friendly fucked."
by jay-x April 24, 2008
Short for "hippopotamus" (Hippopotamus amphibius) and one of only two extant species in the family Hippopotamidae. A large, funny-looking, semi-aquatic, mostly plant-eating African mammal resambling a fat horse-pig hybrid whose pissed off at life and spends most of its time slacking around and jerking off in ponds and rivers. Despite their stocky shape and short legs, hippos can easily outrun a human (some have been clocked at 30 mph (48 km/h), faster than an Olympic sprinter). They have a taste human babies, catholic priests, and crocodiles and are thought to be Africa's most dangerous animal. They are totally awesome and on the very top of the food chain, so they can eat whatever they want WHENEVER they want. People in Africa have learned to fear and respect hippos because of their fierce character and complete randomness, ironically, the same things that makes them so cool and awesome.
Kid 1: Who would win in a fight between a ninja and a hippo?!
Kid 2: Well, the ninja of course!
Kid 1: WRONG!! Ninjas and hippos balance each other on awesomeness and sweetness, so the battle would rage on forever!
*A ninja chops Kid 1's head while a hippo eats Kid 2's head , then they high-five and walk toward the sunset holding hands...*
by jay-x April 29, 2008
1. The next stage in the evolution of the geek, an uber-geek, a super-nerd.
2. An individual that is SO knowledgable in the matter of computers and internet that you can actually tell just by taking a look at him.
That Leroy guy is a total netosapiens...
by jay-x April 25, 2008
An individual who, while under the effects of drugs or alcohol attends mass and start making loud, offensive comments, interrupting the ceremony, and thus becoming terribly annoying and obnoxious to the rest of the congregation and eventually has to be kicked out by several people or ends up being arrested by the police.
Last sunday we had a mass crasher at church.

Jeremy is an habitual mass crasher, everytime he gets shitfaced on a saturday night he ends up crashing mass next morning.
by jay-x April 25, 2008
1. ghetto trash
2. a low, worthless, inner city person
3. riffraff
Ol' Dirty Bastard was a no-good, slum scum, piece of shit.
by jay-x April 24, 2008

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