java's definitions
by Java February 15, 2003
Get the ayemug. Slang/metaphor to signify friendship and levels thereof.
Diesel: Friendly
Dieselness or Dieselhood: Friendliness
DIESEL SCALE:
0-33%: American Diesel- Below 50 Cetane (New Friend - Regular Friend)
33-66%: European Diesel- Above 50 Cetane (Regular Friend - Good Friend)
66-100%: Biodiesel- Cetane Unknown but helpful to the environment. (Good Friend - Best Friend)
100% & up: Fuel Cell (like those prototype Hydrogen Fuel Cells. In other words, if the Opposite Sex is Fuel Cell towards you, they like you more than a friend.)
Fuel Cell is Heterosexual only. Homosexual love is so different it requires its own fuel! See Solar Power.
Diesel: Friendly
Dieselness or Dieselhood: Friendliness
DIESEL SCALE:
0-33%: American Diesel- Below 50 Cetane (New Friend - Regular Friend)
33-66%: European Diesel- Above 50 Cetane (Regular Friend - Good Friend)
66-100%: Biodiesel- Cetane Unknown but helpful to the environment. (Good Friend - Best Friend)
100% & up: Fuel Cell (like those prototype Hydrogen Fuel Cells. In other words, if the Opposite Sex is Fuel Cell towards you, they like you more than a friend.)
Fuel Cell is Heterosexual only. Homosexual love is so different it requires its own fuel! See Solar Power.
(DISCLAIMER:
- Never, EVER spray Diesel Fuel on a person acting gasoline towards you!
- Even though it sounds like a quick & easy fix to a friendship, it will NOT work!
- In fact, their gasolinism will worsen, or worse- their stance towards you may sink to the abyss of being Jet Fuel!!
- This is only a slang/metaphor/analogy so please keep this in mind!)
Example 1: Hey Dane, why aren't you being Diesel tonight? Oh, DGray is possessing you again?? Dane, I know you're in there somewhere, so fight him out of your body!
Example 2: So Josh, how Diesel is your girlfriend?
Josh: She's more than that; She's pretty Fuel Cell, man!
Example 3: The most important part is- you survived. That's the most diesel thing you can ever do for us.
Example 4: That guy is acting a little TOO diesel towards you! Do you think he's showing a little... ...solarity?
Example 5: While I was on the phone at a gas station, when I saw a diesel truck pass, they increased my credit limit to $750.
However, I was at this gas station that didn't serve any diesel, so when I got done refueling, I saw a car rear-end another, which is a pretty gasoline thing to happen!
- Never, EVER spray Diesel Fuel on a person acting gasoline towards you!
- Even though it sounds like a quick & easy fix to a friendship, it will NOT work!
- In fact, their gasolinism will worsen, or worse- their stance towards you may sink to the abyss of being Jet Fuel!!
- This is only a slang/metaphor/analogy so please keep this in mind!)
Example 1: Hey Dane, why aren't you being Diesel tonight? Oh, DGray is possessing you again?? Dane, I know you're in there somewhere, so fight him out of your body!
Example 2: So Josh, how Diesel is your girlfriend?
Josh: She's more than that; She's pretty Fuel Cell, man!
Example 3: The most important part is- you survived. That's the most diesel thing you can ever do for us.
Example 4: That guy is acting a little TOO diesel towards you! Do you think he's showing a little... ...solarity?
Example 5: While I was on the phone at a gas station, when I saw a diesel truck pass, they increased my credit limit to $750.
However, I was at this gas station that didn't serve any diesel, so when I got done refueling, I saw a car rear-end another, which is a pretty gasoline thing to happen!
by Java February 8, 2005
Get the Dieselmug. Tovar: (does a gasoline act)
Java: That's a sign of Gasolinism, Tovar.
Tovar: Today happens to be Gasoline Java Day.
Java: What if I were to spray you with Diesel Fuel??
Tovar: Then I'd stick a comb handle up your 455 and be even more gasoline.
Java: That's a sign of Gasolinism, Tovar.
Tovar: Today happens to be Gasoline Java Day.
Java: What if I were to spray you with Diesel Fuel??
Tovar: Then I'd stick a comb handle up your 455 and be even more gasoline.
by Java September 7, 2004
Get the gasolinismmug. Gasoline: Hostile
Gasolinism: Hostility
Gasolinic: (adjective) Hostile
GASOLINE SCALE:
0-25%: Premium (A little hostile)
25-50%: Midgrade (Somewhat hostile)
50-75%: Regular (Pretty hostile)
75-100%: Leaded (SERIOUSLY hostile! You don't want Leaded!)
100-up%: JET FUEL! (Aahh, I'm not even gonna go there!)
For opposite definitions, see "Diesel".
Gasolinism: Hostility
Gasolinic: (adjective) Hostile
GASOLINE SCALE:
0-25%: Premium (A little hostile)
25-50%: Midgrade (Somewhat hostile)
50-75%: Regular (Pretty hostile)
75-100%: Leaded (SERIOUSLY hostile! You don't want Leaded!)
100-up%: JET FUEL! (Aahh, I'm not even gonna go there!)
For opposite definitions, see "Diesel".
SITUATION 1-
Dondo: Java, Buzz off!!
Java: Man, Adam! That's a sign of Gasolinism- right there! So, how Gasoline are you?
Dondo: Pretty Gasoline!
Java: All right then. (leaves)
Java: Guys, Adam's Gasoline rating is at Regular Unleaded. Why is this and what can I do to make him Diesel again?
SITUATION 2-
Friend: Daniel is having major problems with his girlfriend. She's been fighting and cheating on him.
Java: So, how Gasoline is she?
Friend: She is really, highly, and EXTREMELY Gasoline!
Java: Well, beyond Gasoline would be Jet Fuel...
Friend: Yes, She is JET FUEL!!
Dondo: Java, Buzz off!!
Java: Man, Adam! That's a sign of Gasolinism- right there! So, how Gasoline are you?
Dondo: Pretty Gasoline!
Java: All right then. (leaves)
Java: Guys, Adam's Gasoline rating is at Regular Unleaded. Why is this and what can I do to make him Diesel again?
SITUATION 2-
Friend: Daniel is having major problems with his girlfriend. She's been fighting and cheating on him.
Java: So, how Gasoline is she?
Friend: She is really, highly, and EXTREMELY Gasoline!
Java: Well, beyond Gasoline would be Jet Fuel...
Friend: Yes, She is JET FUEL!!
by Java September 7, 2004
Get the gasolinemug. Hostile: Gasoline
Hostility: Gasolinism
HOSTILE (GASOLINE) SCALE:
0-25%: Premium (A little hostile)
25-50%: Midgrade (Somewhat hostile)
50-75%: Regular (Pretty hostile)
75-100%: Leaded (SERIOUSLY hostile! You don't want Leaded!)
100-up%: JET FUEL! (Aahh, I'm not even gonna go there!)
Hostility: Gasolinism
HOSTILE (GASOLINE) SCALE:
0-25%: Premium (A little hostile)
25-50%: Midgrade (Somewhat hostile)
50-75%: Regular (Pretty hostile)
75-100%: Leaded (SERIOUSLY hostile! You don't want Leaded!)
100-up%: JET FUEL! (Aahh, I'm not even gonna go there!)
Diesel powered vehicles are more friendly than Gasoline-powered ones, so that's why someone is "diesel" when they're friendly, yet "gasoline" when they're hostile. Here's why:
Diesel vehicles are known to be better in general than Gasoline-powered ones. They have:
-Longer-lasting engines
-Higher fuel mileage
-Better exhaust scent
-Pleasant sound
-Greater towing capacity
-Greater torque
Whereas Gasoline-powered vehicles:
-Guzzle more fuel
-Emit unpleasant exhaust fumes
...And you get the idea.
Did I also mention that Diesel Fuel costs less to make than Gasoline?
Diesel vehicles are known to be better in general than Gasoline-powered ones. They have:
-Longer-lasting engines
-Higher fuel mileage
-Better exhaust scent
-Pleasant sound
-Greater towing capacity
-Greater torque
Whereas Gasoline-powered vehicles:
-Guzzle more fuel
-Emit unpleasant exhaust fumes
...And you get the idea.
Did I also mention that Diesel Fuel costs less to make than Gasoline?
by Java September 7, 2004
Get the hostilemug.