1. A person who embodies and defines what it means to be the epitome of a fucking dumb fuck, multiplied by 2. An extreme variation of dumb fuck. Usually such people are so stupid they can piss anyone off like a fire hose aimed at a fly.
2. A person who is dumb enough to have sex, (especially in a threesome including two guys, or rather two dicks hence the term "double-dick") with people who they know have more STDs than a town brothel... so many STDs in fact that they got rejected by all the pimps in town when applied for jobs as hookers.
1. "Urrrgggggh!!!! I don't get how that double-dick-dumb-fuck doesn't understand that $5 is the same as $4.99"
1. A person who pops up on IM at the least expected moment; especially if they pop up right after they said "g2g" and logged off. This is similar to how Rafiki suddenly disappears and reappears at random moments in Disney's 'The Lion King'. Particularly in the scene where Simba is chasing Rafiki through the jungle, prior to Mufasa's appearance in the sky.
2. When you email someone a question, and as soon as you hit send, they pop up on IM and answer your question. This is called "a Cyber Rafiki", or "Pulling a Cyber Rafiki on someone". Just like how Rafiki knows the answers to all of Simba's questions about his father Mufasa.
1. "Bob is like a Cyber Rafiki. He always says he's g2g, logs off, and then he's back online two seconds later"
2. Jim: "I just emailed Heather with that question and she pulls a cyber Rafiki on me".
Larry: "What do you mean Jim?"
Jim: "As soon as I hit send, she answers me on IM. I didn't even know she was online. So, random".
The act of pretending you are busy texting so as to avoid making awkward eye contact with people who are walking passed you in public. By con-txting, you "con" people into believing you are too busy texting to look up at them.
Jane: "So I'm at the mall and this creepy old dude is walking towards me so I took out my phone and started con-txting"
"YouTube news" is another way of saying "old news" or "I already heard about it". If someone tells you something that you have already heard about, you can respond by saying "YouTube news".
This phrase communicates that, like news that spreads throughout the universe very quickly via YouTube, you have already heard about it. It takes 5 minutes for new news to mature into YouTube news (aka old news).
Thanks to YouTube (and texting), news gets old really fast. YouTube news is new news that is already old. However, YouTube news does not have to refer to things that are ACTUALLY on YouTube. "You Tube news" usually refers to things that only matter to you, your personal friends, and the fake friends you have on facebook.
HOW TO USE THE PHRASE:
You usually just say, "YouTube news" without any other words accompanying the phrase. The words "YouTube news" explain exactly what you mean all by themselves.
If it has been 5 minutes since an event, there is a 99.9% chance that EVERYONE who could possibly give a shit about it already knows every damn detail (thanks to texting). Consequentially, the phrase "It's been 5 minutes" can be used in conjunction with the phrase "YouTube news".
MARY: Guess what! Johnny and I got engaged!
BILLY: YouTube news.
MARY: But he only proposed 5 minutes ago.
BILLY: Yeah, I know.
JILL: You're never going to believe this: Heather's car broke down in the middle of the Siberian tundra and she almost froze to death.
BOBBY: YouTube news. It's been 5 minutes.
MARK: Dude, I spilled my coffee on an old lady and she burned to death.
JOHN: It's been 5 minutes. Already heard about it.
MARK: Damn YouTube news.
OSCAR: Hey man, you're never going to believe this! I got a call from... oh yeah, it's been 5 minutes. You already know about it.
Starbucks people: Stupid yuppies, college people, members of bands who think they're the shit but will never actually make it out of their garage with their music, as well as other people who think it's cool to hang out a t Starbucks and be be social degenerates without realizing it.
1. Lets go throw hot coffee on some Starbucksters on our way to Wal Mart.
2. "Starbucks coffee is pretty good but I never go there because I'm afraid I'll kill all the Starbucksters... and i don't want to go to jail. 1 million dead Strabucksters isn't worth a lifetime in prison".