7 definitions by jMiR

Top Definition
LJM
Little Jam Monster!
Named after a girl who loves jam more than anything ever!
An LJM loves jam unconditionally and may put it on all sorts of random food produce.
Eg 1
Laura: OMG pass me the jam, I needs to put it on this tuna steak!
Jacob: Your such an LJM

Eg 2
Daniel: Wow look at that girl go to town on that pot of jam
Jacob: Yeah shes a little jam monster!!!!
by jMiR December 17, 2009
An expression to describe someone who claims to be skint all the time to avoid spending cash when they are actually minted.
Eg 1
James: Do you think Jeremy will want to come to the cinema?
Jacob: Yeah he will but he'll pull the whole skintminted routine.
James: That's true, he'll want to wait for orange wednesdays.

Eg 2
Jeremy: Dude, I'm gonna have to ask for some diesel money, really struggling for cash at the minute.
Isaac: *cough* skintminted *cough*
Jeremy: What did you say?!
Isaac: Nothing just clearing my throat.
by jMiR March 02, 2010
Abbreviation for Feline AIDS.
Cat AIDS in lamence terms.
Eg 1,

Isaac: Have you heard about Big Tom?

Joe GT: You mean Jeremy's cat?

Isaac: Yeah, hes got FAIDS.

Eg 2,

Mr Clifford: Remember the time we found that bag of excrement at my house?

Jacob: Shit yeah, we're lucky we didnt catch FAIDS!
by jMiR February 16, 2010
A prestigious title given to whom ever is the first to be sick once a drinking session has commenced.
Hey guys, the reigning champion chunder queen Isaac still hasn't chundered. I guess it's anybodys game... Oh wait, he's claimed it!
by jMiR November 01, 2010
A pubic cut on a man who is relatively hairy, he shaves his entire pubic region and leaves the hair on the rest of his body. This gives a bald spot effect as though a woodsman has been playing silly buggers.
Guy A: "You need to check out my pubes man, gave myself a bit of a trim"
Guy B: "That's nothing, check out my cheeky woodsman!"
by jMiR October 11, 2010
When a group of friends find a dead bird (famously a grouse) the day after the night before whilst still relatively intoxicated and decide t'would be a good idea to use it to cause mischief and/or shennanigans. This could involve a good slap or as it should be known a grousin' to an unsuspecting pedestrians face! Alternatively you could dump it in a public urinal or in your flatmates frying pan. It helps if you drive a soft top car with the roof down playing the greatest hits of Justin Bieber and Baby Alice.
Billy Joel: "Shit dude, me and the guys got totally wasted last night and this morning we went for a bit of grousin' like you do."
Steve: "Grousin', what's that?"
Billy Joel: "You know, when you find a dead bird by the side of the road and use it to cause all sorts of crazy mischief!"
Steve: "Dude wtf is wrong with you? I hope you get caught"
Billy Joel: "I really don't know man, I hope we do too otherwise we'll never learn!"
by jMiR October 20, 2010
A yellow wank is necassary when a regular wank just isn't going to be enough and usually involves loading up the dirtiest Asian porn the internet has to offer and wanking yourself into a coma.

Abuse of the yellow wank is not advised and it should only be used as a monthly treat. Binge drinking is attributed as the most probable cause of the 'yellow wank' urge.
James: "I cannot wait to get home guys, then it's straight upstairs for a reet session of slap and tickle"

Isaac: "To be honest James I think the only thing that's gonna calm these urges is a yellow wank"
by jMiR January 02, 2011

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