ihatebuffering's definitions

pedophile van

A large, older van, typically brown or white in color, and often with tinted front windows and no windows in the back. Not all pedophile vans are used for the purpose of luring young children to kidnap with promises of candy or toys, but if somebody were to decide they wanted to do this, a pedophile van would be the perfect vehicle.

My friend just bought a total pedophile van. Either he is a rapist or has very poor choices in vehicles.

by ihatebuffering March 21, 2011

vexing

The act of texting somebody nonsensical, ambiguous things while drunk. Basically like drunk dial-ing somebody through text.

Omg, the room is spinongo, i dont even remember vexing you

by ihatebuffering January 21, 2011

concert girlfriend

A girlfriend that acts really lame at events that her boyfriend brings her to. (Concerts, of course, are the most common event for this to occur at).

(At a Parkway Drive concert):
Lisa: Can we leave early? All this loud music is giving me a migraine and people keep bumping into me.
Tom: Ah, quit being such a concert girlfriend.

by ihatebuffering March 22, 2011

pelican fucker

Anybody who works for BP or Exxon.

Tony Heyward is a pelican fucker and owes an infinite debt to society.

by ihatebuffering March 21, 2011

The Oyster

The act of a man pulling his balls out of the opening in the front of his boxers. This trick is closely related to The Turkey and the frog brain.

While usually done in front of friends as a joke, Larry sometimes performs The Oyster by himself for amusement.

by ihatebuffering January 21, 2011

peeping richard

Penis trick (which can only be performed by a circumcised male) in which an individual pushes the head of his penis into the ring of foreskin underneath the head (the Tweed Ring) until it can no longer be seen. The individual then lets go of his penis, causing the head to slowly reappear and return to its original position.

Larry showed me how to do the peeping richard today.

by ihatebuffering January 20, 2011

jellyfish handjob

A move used by inexperienced teen girls. Instead of gripping the shaft like they should, the girl instead just uses the ends of her fingers on the tip, so that her hand looks similar to a swimming jellyfish.

My fifteen year old girlfriend just gave me a jellyfish handjob. I told her if she doesn't grip it next time, mr. backhand comes out

by ihatebuffering March 21, 2011