ihatebuffering's definitions

The Turkey

The act of a man, weraing boxers, pulling his penis up and tucking it into the waistband of his boxers so that only the head is showing and is pinned against his abdomen by the boxers' waistband, then pulling his balls out of the front of his boxers, thus simulating the neck and frill of a turkey. This trick is closely related to The Mongoose.

My friends were both enthused and horrified when i did The Turkey in front of them.

by ihatebuffering January 21, 2011

shawshank desk

A school desk a teacher pieces together using a chair and a small table for the comfort of fat students. This references Andy Dufrene's use of scrap resources to accomplish goals in "The Shawshank Redemption".

Larry's belly was so big the edge of his old desk cut into it. So the teacher moved him to the shawshank desk, and now his belly has lots of room and he can focus on his schoolwork.

by ihatebuffering January 21, 2011

vexing

The act of texting somebody nonsensical, ambiguous things while drunk. Basically like drunk dial-ing somebody through text.

Omg, the room is spinongo, i dont even remember vexing you

by ihatebuffering January 21, 2011

pedophile van

A large, older van, typically brown or white in color, and often with tinted front windows and no windows in the back. Not all pedophile vans are used for the purpose of luring young children to kidnap with promises of candy or toys, but if somebody were to decide they wanted to do this, a pedophile van would be the perfect vehicle.

My friend just bought a total pedophile van. Either he is a rapist or has very poor choices in vehicles.

by ihatebuffering March 21, 2011

mashed potato ass

An older woman's ass that is rotund and full of cellulite dimples. When they sit down, the ass seems to squish and go all over the place, as if they were sitting on a pile of mashed potatoes.

My sixty-five year old teacher has a mashed potato ass. It is very distracting.

by ihatebuffering March 21, 2011

frog brain

The act of a man, who is at least slightly spread-legged in a chair or on a bench and is wearing shorts, pulling both balls out one side of his underwear and pulling aside one leg of his shorts, then tricking one of his friends into looking at it.

larry is an asshole. he just showed me his frog brain.

by ihatebuffering January 21, 2011

The Mongoose

The act of, while wearing boxers, pulling up your flaccid penis so that only the head is sticking out, being held against your abdomen by the waistband of your boxers.

I did The Mongoose in the locker room today before football practice. My friends all shared in horrified laughter

by ihatebuffering January 21, 2011