ihatebuffering's definitions

pelican fucker

Anybody who works for BP or Exxon.

Tony Heyward is a pelican fucker and owes an infinite debt to society.

by ihatebuffering March 21, 2011

concert girlfriend

A girlfriend that acts really lame at events that her boyfriend brings her to. (Concerts, of course, are the most common event for this to occur at).

(At a Parkway Drive concert):
Lisa: Can we leave early? All this loud music is giving me a migraine and people keep bumping into me.
Tom: Ah, quit being such a concert girlfriend.

by ihatebuffering March 22, 2011

The Oyster

The act of a man pulling his balls out of the opening in the front of his boxers. This trick is closely related to The Turkey and the frog brain.

While usually done in front of friends as a joke, Larry sometimes performs The Oyster by himself for amusement.

by ihatebuffering January 21, 2011

The Mongoose

The act of, while wearing boxers, pulling up your flaccid penis so that only the head is sticking out, being held against your abdomen by the waistband of your boxers.

I did The Mongoose in the locker room today before football practice. My friends all shared in horrified laughter

by ihatebuffering January 21, 2011

shawshank desk

A school desk a teacher pieces together using a chair and a small table for the comfort of fat students. This references Andy Dufrene's use of scrap resources to accomplish goals in "The Shawshank Redemption".

Larry's belly was so big the edge of his old desk cut into it. So the teacher moved him to the shawshank desk, and now his belly has lots of room and he can focus on his schoolwork.

by ihatebuffering January 21, 2011

frog brain

The act of a man, who is at least slightly spread-legged in a chair or on a bench and is wearing shorts, pulling both balls out one side of his underwear and pulling aside one leg of his shorts, then tricking one of his friends into looking at it.

larry is an asshole. he just showed me his frog brain.

by ihatebuffering January 21, 2011

mashed potato ass

An older woman's ass that is rotund and full of cellulite dimples. When they sit down, the ass seems to squish and go all over the place, as if they were sitting on a pile of mashed potatoes.

My sixty-five year old teacher has a mashed potato ass. It is very distracting.

by ihatebuffering March 21, 2011