hansonpaulsey's definitions

Ass Trash

Noun; After taking a shit and being unaware that you are out of toilet paper, your next best option is to search in the trash can next to you for any wiping material;

usually results in using:
-paper towels used previously to clean your sink
-toilet paper used to previously clean the top of the toothpaste
-previously used stridex pads
-previously used tampons wrapped up in toilet paper
-previously used tissues used to blow your nose
-the cardboard cylinder of the recently run-out toilet paper

"After eating chipotle, Mike rushed to the bathroom in order to drop his deuce. Afterwards, he realized that he was completely out of toilet paper. He then remembered his next best option: ass trash. Mike had to refer to wiping his ass with his mother's previously used vaginal pad.

by hansonpaulsey October 25, 2009

Spanky

Noun: A slap someone endures across the face with a thinly sliced piece of meat; usually done with lunch meat or a patty of a fast food burger.

"Since Mike wouldn't shut up at the McDonald's drive-thru, I opened up his greasy McDouble and gave him a spanky."

by Hansonpaulsey October 12, 2009

n00dz?

Noun: A question( proposing someone to send nude pictures) that is usually asked to seem "un-serious" or "sarcastic" to see if the person will in fact send nude pictures.
If answered with a yes, the proposer will then ask to see them.
If answered with a no, the proposer will then act as if they weren't being literal and quickly change the subject to avoid embarrassment.

Text message conversation:
Guy: "Sup girl?"
Girl: "Not much, just uploading some pictures."
Guy: "n00dz? ;"
Girl: "What am I, 14? I don't do that."
Guy: "Haha I know, I was kidding... anyway, how are you?"

by Hansonpaulsey October 12, 2009

d8

Noun: A date you have with someone over the internet or over xbox live;

usually a designated time to get online to talk to this specific person

"I have a hot d8 tonight!"
"Oh yeah? Where at?"
"Me and HotChick69 are meeting in a private chat-room at 8:30."
"Nice! Maybe you'll get some n00dz!"

by hansonpaulsey November 8, 2009

phantom specs

The act of attempting to adjust or move prescription glasses from your face after wearing them for a period of time and then switching to contacts.

"Man, I just cannot get used to these new contacts. I keep trying to move my "glasses" up on my face and then realizing they're not there."
"Sounds like you have a case of the phantom specs."

by hansonpaulsey January 27, 2010

609

A threesome involving two sexual partners performing a 69 on one partner which is reasonably fat.

619 is the same as a 609, but with a skinny partner in the middle.

"The only fat guys that will ever get the chance to 609 are rich celebrities."

by hansonpaulsey February 13, 2010

Chocolate Milk

The sexual act of a man cumming into a woman's mouth after she gives head and immediately after the woman squirts chocolate syrup into her mouth, swishes it around, and then swallows.

Willy Wonka's gay lover used to adore drinking Willy's chocolate milk. But then his test results came back...

by Hansonpaulsey October 11, 2009