hansonpaulsey's definitions

Wingmom

Noun: A mother in which will help her son get laid, usually at a bar or a large gathering. This method of bringing along a wingmom is much more rewarding because it comes off to women as a man being sensitive and a family-man rather than a future one-night stand;
exactly like a wingman, but it's your mom.

"I haven't gotten laid in forever. Luckily, I'm going out for some beers with my wingmom tonight."

by hansonpaulsey December 1, 2009

Flesh Cave

Noun: An extremely loose-lipped vagina

"My dick was practically lost in her flesh cave."

by hansonpaulsey November 9, 2009

Vahvahduhvava

Noun: The sound Captain Falcon makes on his third consecutive jump in the Nintendo 64 game "Super Smash Bros."

"Captain Falcon Jumps: C^ C^ Vahvahduhvava"

by hansonpaulsey January 12, 2010

Freeload Party

Noun: A house party where in order to get in you have to either bring your own booze (BYOB) or pay the host to drink; usually done by trading off the rights to have a party at the host's house as long as he or she gets profit or free alcohol/substances in the process.

Antonym: Gatsby Party

"Hey dude, you want to hit up this party tonight? It's better than just sitting around here."
"I don't know, is there going to be alcohol?"
"Yeah dude! Well, no... Only if you bring it yourself or you pay someone to drink theirs."
"So you're saying it's a freeload party..."
"Yeeeaaah..."
"Then no, those are fucking lame."

by hansonpaulsey November 8, 2009

Bloom

Verb: The act of having explosive diarrhea and accidentally getting feces on your balls; the act of defecating on someone else's balls in order for them to be pleasured by the act.

"Damn. After that Chipotle we ate last night, I ended up accidentally blooming. My balls looked like they were dipped in chocolate."

"Sandy bloomed on my balls last night before sex. The warmth turned me on to no end."

by Hansonpaulsey October 14, 2009

Happy Wok

Noun: A chinese man's happy trail

American Teenager: "Dude, check out my epic happy trail!"
Chinese Teenager: "Check out my happy wok!"

by hansonpaulsey December 13, 2009

Future Fossil

Noun: A name usually assigned to someone who is old in age and close to becoming deceased somewhere in the near future.

"You see these new bills Obama is passing? I'm thinking we should've went with John McCain."
"Are you kidding? That future fossil would've been way passed gone by now."

by hansonpaulsey December 1, 2009