garthy's definitions

Mole's Eye

A twat which makes a mouse's ear look like a horse's collar

`Consigniawas powerless to resist. His eyes burnt into hers like like ambers. His muscular arms enfolded her her body as she felt herself being swept away on a tradewind of passion. "Now Fernando," she gasped "Take me now. All these years in the convent i've been saving myself for the right man, and now i've found you." "Fucking get," breathed Fernando. "you must have a snatch like a mole's eye." (from `The Nun and the Windowcleaner` by Barbara Cartland

by Garthy September 19, 2006

Betty Swollocks

Polite term for knacker discomfort

"forgive me your majesty, whilst i adjust my doublet and hose. I have sailed the oceans these last six months and have not changed my codpiece since we left the New World. I fear i have the most awful Betties (Sir Walter Raleigh, Audience with Queen Elizabeth I, 1584) Betty Swollocks

by Garthy July 9, 2006

Beer Angel

The unseen guiding force that watches over and keeps safe the inebriated as they stagger across all six lanes of the North Circular at chucking out time.

Loss of vision or memory, and complete bewilderment as to how you got home safely and in one piece means only one thing, that your beer angel was watching over you.

by garthy September 5, 2008

Pork and Beans

A term to describe a Happy Shopper, or Betty Both. One who bowls from both the Pavillion and the members' end. Half rice, Half Chips.

'Birthdays:David Bowie, formerly Pork and Beans, now just beans, singer, 56 today' ('The Times' Jan 8th, 2003)

by Garthy September 19, 2006

Gary Glitter

rhym. slang

Shitter. Reference to either the arse-hole, or the komode

"Wheres Charles?", Elizabeth pondered out loud,"He's in the Gary Glitter taking Camilla up the Gary Glitter" replied Philip

by Garthy September 19, 2006

horses collar

Vagina. Also sim. to imply generous proportions

"She's got a fanny like a horses collar" (as opposed to a mouse's ear).

by Garthy September 19, 2006

art pamphlet

A jazz or scud magazine; one handed reading material.

"Hey Gordon, wheres the art pamphlets, Cherie's on the blob and i'm gonna have to knock one out before I address Parliament on climate change". "There in the shitter where you left them Tony, you fucking twat"

by Garthy September 19, 2006