garthy's definitions

horses collar

Vagina. Also sim. to imply generous proportions

"She's got a fanny like a horses collar" (as opposed to a mouse's ear).

by Garthy September 19, 2006

Gary Glitter

rhym. slang

Shitter. Reference to either the arse-hole, or the komode

"Wheres Charles?", Elizabeth pondered out loud,"He's in the Gary Glitter taking Camilla up the Gary Glitter" replied Philip

by Garthy September 19, 2006

loose sausage meat

Flaccid penis which cannot be funnelled into a condom.

As in "Sorry love, I've got loose sausage meat ".

by Garthy September 19, 2006

Betty Swollocks

Polite term for knacker discomfort

"forgive me your majesty, whilst i adjust my doublet and hose. I have sailed the oceans these last six months and have not changed my codpiece since we left the New World. I fear i have the most awful Betties (Sir Walter Raleigh, Audience with Queen Elizabeth I, 1584) Betty Swollocks

by Garthy July 9, 2006

Porn Buddy

A Clitary Executor. A single fellows best friend who, in the event of his untimely death, is charged with the important task of removing and disposing of his stash of grumblebefore his grieving parents arrive tosearch through his effects for touching momentoes, and things to put on eBay.

If former Poet Laureate and lifelong jazz enthusiast Philip Larkin's porn buddy had managed to carry out the Hull Universty Librarians final wishes, it is estimated that the resulting bonfire of hardcore art pamphlets would have been visible from the Moon

by Garthy September 19, 2006

wank

1. Masturbation. 2. n. Rubbish. e.g. "Don't talk wank". 3. v. To masturbate. As in "My brother wanks all the time and he's got perfect eyesight".

As in "If you have a wank every day you'll go blind".

by garthy July 8, 2006

art pamphlet

A jazz or scud magazine; one handed reading material.

"Hey Gordon, wheres the art pamphlets, Cherie's on the blob and i'm gonna have to knock one out before I address Parliament on climate change". "There in the shitter where you left them Tony, you fucking twat"

by Garthy September 19, 2006