"forgive me your majesty, whilst i adjust my doublet and hose. I have sailed the oceans these last six months and have not changed my codpiece since we left the New World. I fear i have the most awful Betties (Sir Walter Raleigh, Audience with Queen Elizabeth I, 1584) Betty Swollocks
by Garthy July 9, 2006
Get the Betty Swollocksmug. `Consigniawas powerless to resist. His eyes burnt into hers like like ambers. His muscular arms enfolded her her body as she felt herself being swept away on a tradewind of passion. "Now Fernando," she gasped "Take me now. All these years in the convent i've been saving myself for the right man, and now i've found you." "Fucking get," breathed Fernando. "you must have a snatch like a mole's eye." (from `The Nun and the Windowcleaner` by Barbara Cartland
by Garthy September 19, 2006
Get the Mole's Eyemug. A Clitary Executor. A single fellows best friend who, in the event of his untimely death, is charged with the important task of removing and disposing of his stash of grumblebefore his grieving parents arrive tosearch through his effects for touching momentoes, and things to put on eBay.
If former Poet Laureate and lifelong jazz enthusiast Philip Larkin's porn buddy had managed to carry out the Hull Universty Librarians final wishes, it is estimated that the resulting bonfire of hardcore art pamphlets would have been visible from the Moon
by Garthy September 19, 2006
Get the Porn Buddymug. by garthy July 8, 2006
Get the twittermug. "Wheres Charles?", Elizabeth pondered out loud,"He's in the Gary Glitter taking Camilla up the Gary Glitter" replied Philip
by Garthy September 19, 2006
Get the Gary Glittermug. Flaccid penis which cannot be funnelled into a condom.
by Garthy September 19, 2006
Get the loose sausage meatmug. Imaginary optical aids through which ugly women begin to appear attractive after you have drunk too much beer.
by garthy July 8, 2006
Get the Beer Gogglesmug.