garthy's definitions

twitter

Female perineum; that area of the anatomy between the twat and the shitter

Stop Tony, your not even in... your only just touching my twitter, from The Diaries of Cherie Blair

by garthy July 8, 2006

Dutch oven

Beneath the bedclothes after someone has played ‘Reveille' on the botty bugle.

"A Dutch Oven is the art of cooking ones partners' head beneath the bedclothes using cabbage-gas, made popular by Emperor Julius Ceaser during the hieght of Roman rule in Europe". (Adam Hart-Davies, from the popular TV series 'What the Romans did for us, 2003')

by Garthy September 19, 2006

Beer Angel

The unseen guiding force that watches over and keeps safe the inebriated as they stagger across all six lanes of the North Circular at chucking out time.

Loss of vision or memory, and complete bewilderment as to how you got home safely and in one piece means only one thing, that your beer angel was watching over you.

by garthy September 5, 2008

cunt

The female genitals. Once common parlance, the term has been considered impolite since the end of the 14th Century. Not recommended for use in front of the mother-in-law. Also extremely derogotive

"You know, i always hated your mum, she was a right Cunt" As quoted from the Duke of Edinburgh to Her Royal Highness, Queen Elizebeth II in "Queenies Tales"

by garthy August 25, 2006

wank

1. Masturbation. 2. n. Rubbish. e.g. "Don't talk wank". 3. v. To masturbate. As in "My brother wanks all the time and he's got perfect eyesight".

As in "If you have a wank every day you'll go blind".

by garthy July 8, 2006

loose sausage meat

Flaccid penis which cannot be funnelled into a condom.

As in "Sorry love, I've got loose sausage meat ".

by Garthy September 19, 2006

Beer Goggles

Imaginary optical aids through which ugly women begin to appear attractive after you have drunk too much beer.

"What? You fancy that!?! You must be wearing beer goggles".

by garthy July 8, 2006