9 definitions by gaping munt

Top Definition
Hoody is no longer a virgin.

This was shouted through the streets of Clydebank a few days ago.

Bells rang.... angels cried golden tears of infinity and God cast his steely gaze over this putrid version of humanity and boomed "Finally, the day has arrived. It all began many many years ago in the garden of Eden. The universe was build for one reason and that reason was HINLAV. I have completed my journey, it all must end... tonight"

Roars of imploding stars filled the universal mind, matter and gravity played out a final symphony of despair and finally decayed into the womb of finite return.
A whole singing choir of dead children rose from the ashes and burst forth from the glass. An empty vessel showed the world why it must slowly agonize over every second of every mistake that spawned from it's very own virus. A submerged idea of torture pushing every soul to see it's obscene thoughts through a magnified uterus of hate.
Above, angels ran naked, tore their wings off in playful delight and execreted fragments of despair from their cunts. A yellow cloud ate the blue sky and a wingless seraph rode comets with reins of skin and membrane howling in the throws of termination.
The malignant spire of unrelenting bereavement drove towards my heart. The death of God was not heard in heaven or earth. No madman ran into the streets to proclaim the passing of the almighty.
My eyes filled with bright obliteration.
I stood there for days muttering "HINLAV..... OH CHRIST HINLAV"

Hoody lay on the sweat soaked covers and wiped himself with his sock.....
"Did you hear God has died ?"

"Is that why the sky vanished into a blood red sea of death"


"It's about fucking time !"
by gaping munt March 02, 2004
A more protracted version of the popular insult dick. Must be pronounced with a rising sarcastic tone becoming more vicious towards the sharp K at the end.
"Hoody did you manage to get dope ?"

"Nah, my dealer wasn't in"

by gaping munt March 04, 2004
Scottish insult much like bawbag. The chops refering to the mouth.

As in "You have a mouth full of testicular tissue"
"Hey ! did you just stick your finger in my eye ?"

"Yes, I think I just did"

"Bawchops !"

"come again ?"
by gaping munt March 03, 2004
When the male inserts his thumb into the vagina and his middle finger into the anus and makes the ends meet at the thin membrane of skin at the perineum just below the cervix. A tapping motion then takes place much to the delight of the grinning participant.

Also known as tam foo
"Did you see the nick of that cow I shagged on Friday ?"

"Aye she was fucked"

"Too right, I ended up tapping through"

"Ya clatty bastard"
by gaping munt March 06, 2004
Confusing amalgamation of insults sqaushed together in a big sweary vice before being pulped into a pseudo joke argument that is being fought by two insufferable cunts.
"Why did he take you to the bunny ranch ?"

"For wanton animalistic anal sex"

"Fuck he is so Gen X"

"Yeah, his leather brouges filled up with the venereal discharge of hope"

"No, I meant he looked a bit like Douglas Copland"

"Oh that wankchops"
by gaping munt March 06, 2004
See tapping through

Sexual act used by drunkards and deviants.
"Sorry mate, I dunno how to say this..."

"It's cool just tell me, I'll be fine"

"I tam foo'd yer bird"
by gaping munt March 06, 2004
In reference to the male gentitalia.

Used in small groups as an affectionate name for friends.

Rab's favourite word
Rab - "Alright champer ! Did you see those champers last night, I've never seen champers like it"


"Did you see the size of that cunts champer ?"

"Aye it's a total arse splitter"
by gaping munt March 06, 2004
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