27 definitions by florida sunshine
Many years ago Father's would force his daughter to wear a chastity belt to prevent her from losing her virginity. Sometime during the Industrial Age the 'cunt opener' was invented. It was a device that hung on the wall developed by Black and Dekker. You would insert the woman upside down and she would spin around until she fell to the ground and the little magnet would retain the chastity belt.
by florida sunshine November 10, 2009
God, someone brought a gay porno dvd by the house last night and it had 2 Transcornholers. Their names were 'Optimus Cum' and the other was 'Ultra Faggus'.
by florida sunshine November 10, 2009
This is what happened to Colonel Hogan and the rest of his G.I.s after they were never rescued from Colonel Klink's Stalag 13 concentration camp.
Sergeant Schultz!! Did you witness colonel hogan buttfucking Kinchlo? Did you see 'hogan's homo's' in action??
Sgt. Schultz replies, "I SAW NOTHING!! NOTHING!!'
Sgt. Schultz replies, "I SAW NOTHING!! NOTHING!!'
by florida sunshine November 10, 2009
The overweight guy at work that tries to look for a new look and suddenly shows up to work one day with a shaved head. His extra weight and double chin helps to round out his entire head making it seem 'bowlingballish' in shape.
Wow, did you see Sean today? He shaved his head! It makes him look rather distinguished and bowlingballish!
by florida sunshine November 14, 2009
Roy, did you see that beautiful reporter Kelly O-Donnel on MSNBC yesterday? My god, I bet she's got a 'fresh red snapper'! Probably shaves it too!
by florida sunshine November 10, 2009
'Desert Dick' or as it sometimes referred to 'SPGS' (Sandy Penis Gulf Syndrome) or PTDDD (Post Traumatic Desert Dick Disorder) first came into origin around the 1980s during the first Gulf War Conflict. It is the gradual build up of sand around the Penis glans from extended Desert winds and Sand Storms mostly experienced by U.S. male Soldiers. While it is not a malady that female soldiers can get, they are still affected by the Desert Dick Syndrome. During coitus with a male soldier the female soldier can sometimes be overheard stating, "Oh my God, that feels like Sandpaper! Do you have Desert Dick?" At that point you can simply ignore her, deny having Desert Dick, or simply give her a firm "Camel Punch" in the back of the head.
The 'Desert Dick' should never be confused with the 'Dessert Dick' which is entirely different but oft mispelled or mistaken. The 'Dessert Dick' involves gently laying the penis on a long boat-shaped bowl, adding strawberries, banana slices, some Cool Whip, and gently topping your nuts with nuts.
The 'Desert Dick' should never be confused with the 'Dessert Dick' which is entirely different but oft mispelled or mistaken. The 'Dessert Dick' involves gently laying the penis on a long boat-shaped bowl, adding strawberries, banana slices, some Cool Whip, and gently topping your nuts with nuts.
Man, I'm so tired of having Desert Dick. I could try soaking my penis but I heard that there's a sandstorm on the way so why bother??
by florida sunshine November 9, 2009