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14 definitions by flappy dickwad

 
1.
A place you don't want to wake up in. This means different things to different people. To a fat security guard its a street full of Maltby lorries or a world without barbecues.
Who's the miserable bastard wearing the silly hat?

Its Pork Scotch. He's miserable cos he woke up in a Badman Place. Maltby lorries everywhere.
by Flappy Dickwad May 07, 2009
 
2.
Disgusting tartan boxer shorts worn by boring old men and fat security guards. Usually unwashed and covered with shit stains.
Sweet Jesus what's that fat git wearing?

They're Pork Scotch pants. Vile aren't they?
by Flappy Dickwad May 05, 2009
 
3.
A gay dance done by fat old men when they get drunk at barbecues. The spectacle is greatly enhanced when the fat old man is wearing a buffalo-skin hat and strips down to his tartan boxer shorts.
Is that fat guy having a fit?

No, he's just doing a Pork Scotch dance. Ridiculous ain't it?
by Flappy Dickwad May 06, 2009
 
4.
A small white moustache sported by bald security guards to prove they can grow hair. If the security guard is particularly old, fat and ugly he'll believe his moustache makes him good looking and suave.
Who's the gimp with the Pork Scotch Moustache?

That's Pork Scotch, the fat, ugly security guard.
by flappy dickwad May 06, 2009
 
5.
Crabby, disgusting sandals worn on the piggy trotters of little fat security guards who think its cool to holiday in South Africa.
Sweet Jesus. What's that little fat twat wearing on its filthy feet?

Pork Scotch sandals. He thinks they're cool because he's such a ridiculous moron.
by Flappy Dickwad May 07, 2009
 
6.
A good place to hide an illicit traffic cone. Therefore this is the most hated vehicle of little fat security guards who think they're the most important people in the world.
Why is Pork Scotch looking more miserable than usual?

He's just seen a Maltby lorry go past. Those things always give him nightmares.
by Flappy Dickwad May 07, 2009
 
7.
Boring, sensible black trousers with flaps over the back pockets. Worn by fat security guards who go out with men in drag, these trousers send people to sleep just by looking at them.
What the hell is fatboy wearing?

Pork Scotch trousers. Boring aren't they? Its the flap that does it.

<snore>
by Flappy Dickwad May 18, 2009