fauxbourdon's definitions

squarp

noun. The simultaneous co-occurrence of a sneeze, queef, fart, and burp. An admittedly rare event, but a theoretical possibility.

verb. To sneeze, queef, fart, and burp simultaneously.

Etymology: S(neeze) + QU(eef) + (f)AR(t) + (bur)P.

Ramona squarped so violently that I thought she would explode.

by fauxbourdon December 4, 2005

voga

noun. Yoga-like exercises meant to tighten, tone, or condition the vagina.

Etymology: contraction of "vaginal yoga."

Darlene's voga exercises keep her as tight as a teenage virgin.

by fauxbourdon December 4, 2005

vajaculation

(noun): The act or phenomenon of female ejaculation, i.e., the forceful expulsion of liquid from one's vagina during orgasm. (This phenomenon occurs in a minority of women.)

See also: vajaculate, v.

Etymology: vaj (short for vagina) + ejaculation.

I never used to believe in vajaculation, but next time I go down on Amy, I'll be sure to wear goggles.

by fauxbourdon December 28, 2005

fidouchiary duty

(noun): the moral or ethical duty a woman owes to her significant other to keep her vagina clean and in an appetizing and wholesome condition.

etymology: hybridization of "fiduciary duty", i.e. "the legal duty of one to act in the best interests of another in certain settings", and "douche".

Guy 1: "Brenda's vadge was nasty last night!"

Guy 2: "You should ditch the bitch, man. She violated her fidouchiary duty."

by fauxbourdon December 28, 2005

vackwash

noun: urine emitted from a woman's urethra, which rather than successfully reaching the toilet, instead trickles downward and enters that woman's own vagina (usually by accident).

verb: to get urine in one's own vagina while urinating (usually by accident).

Etymology: contraction of "vaginal backwash".

Connie tried to piss lying down, but the last few drops didn't go far enough and vackwashed into her pussy.

Make sure to douche after vackwashing or you'll get a yeast infection.

by fauxbourdon December 28, 2005

quoff

Alternate spelling of quofe (also quoaf or quof).

noun: Penile flatulence (air or gas escaping from the penis through the urethra), a.k.a. a dick fart.

verb: To emit penile flatulence.

ETYMOLOGY: "Quofe" is the male form of queef.

NOTE: Quofes are a rare phenomenon compared to queefs because it is much harder for air to become stuck in a man's urethra than in a woman's comparatively larger vagina. Quofes occur most frequently after a catheter has been inserted into the penis and removed, leaving air trapped in the bladder or urethra.

After Reginald's catheter was removed, he tried to take a piss, but ended up letting a quoff at the same time, thereby splattering urine everywhere.

by fauxbourdon December 28, 2005

quoafing

The present participle of quoaf, which is itself an alternate spelling of quofe.

noun: Penile flatulence (air or gas escaping from the penis through the urethra), a.k.a. a dick fart.

verb: To emit penile flatulence.

ETYMOLOGY: "Quofe" is the male form of queef.

NOTE: Quofes are a rare phenomenon compared to queefs because it is much harder for air to become stuck in a man's urethra than in a woman's comparatively larger vagina. Quofes occur most frequently after a catheter has been inserted into the penis and removed, leaving air trapped in the bladder or urethra.

After Reginald's catheter was removed, he tried to take a piss, but ended up quoafing and splattering urine everywhere.

by fauxbourdon December 28, 2005