6 definitions by elwoodblues85

Top Definition
Noun, Infantrymen in the United States Army. Generally coveted MOS short of being an 18 series. Smarter, tougher, harder, and more lethal than you. Worshiped by 19D's.

The US Army Infantrymen is resourceful and intelligent. He will out smart his enemy, he will out maneuver his enemy, and he will lay down suppressive fire so deadly that pound for pound he is the most lethal creature on two legs. He is tough and afraid of nothing. He jumps out of airplanes and repels from helicopters and is his enemy's worst nightmare. He completes the Darby Queen in record time and can eat shit that would make Marines sick to their stomach. He climbs mountains and will lay in an ambush for three days before making contact with the enemy. He drinks excessively and parties louder, faster, and better than all of the other MOS's.

Definitely the pitcher when it comes to banging 19D's. He eats concertina wire and pisses napalm. He uses a Claymore mine as a pillow. Attends Ranger School or any other school for that matter that will make him better than everyone else. Most feared NCO's in the world.
Eleven Bravo: "Nothing gets my dick hard like cruising nap of the earth in a Blackhawk at 2 am watching tracers and gunfire fill the sky through nightvision. And then landing in a hot LZ with plenty of badguys to send home in bodybags."

Nineteen Delta: "Hold me. I can't even pass a PT test."
by elwoodblues85 July 06, 2011
NCO
Non Commissioned Officer. The NCO is the military. The NCO is everything new soldiers/marines/sailors wish they were. NCO's are smarter, faster, more deadly, and more ferocious than any other service member in the military. The NCO cares for the members below him and is responsible for their lives. The NCO actively demonstrates what a bad ass mother fucker should be. Crossing paths with an NCO is about the most foolish thing a new enlistee or new officer can do as the NCO will make their lives a living hell. Good officers recognize the value that well seasoned NCO's bring to the table. Privates and Seamen can only dream of being as courageous and as deadly as an NCO.
Joe/Officer: Uggggghhhhhh why are we doing dime and washer drills?

NCO: BECAUSE IF YOU PLAN ON WALKING OFF THE BATTLEFIELD ALIVE, THEN YOU BETTER SHOOT BETTER THAN THE ENEMY. DON'T MAKE ME KILL YOU.
by elwoodblues85 July 06, 2011
Military phonetic alphabet for the letter W and the letter M. When together, they are an acronym for Walking Mattress. A Walking Mattress generally refers to any female soldier who is a slut and will drop her panties for anyone.

Very common overseas in combat zones. This is due to the fact that after several weeks of separation from normal pretty women, ugly and otherwise nasty female service members somehow become attractive. They will never receive as much attention as they will while deployed, so naturally, its easy to get them in bed. Thus they become a Walking Mattress.

The unfortunate and sad part about this, is that once they return stateside, they will be ugly again, but their reputation and habits seem to follow them back. Likewise, they will continue to be a Walking Mattress on post or in the barracks.

It is not uncommon for them to be found wearing make up in a combat zone.
Soldier 1: "I need to get my dick wet soon, I can't take much more of this!"

Soldier 2: "Seriously, we've been in country for 3 weeks, chill."

Soldier 1: "I'm gonna head over to the motor pool and track down a Whiskey Mike."

Soldier 2: "I have a better idea. Rather than risking your dick rotting off, lets head over to the Air Force chow hall and see what the number one vajean situation is over there."

Soldier 1: "Thanks for having my back."
by elwoodblues85 August 03, 2010
It is quite possibly the worst man made smell in the entire world. Its named after the place where it was invented in Hawaii and the main ingredient involved.

The process begins with a two week field problem that will take place in the East Range which involve lots of walking in the jungle and battle drills. The second step involves masturbation. This will either be done while on guard duty or while in the soldier's sleeping bag. Should be done 3-4 days after the soldier has been in the field. After the soldier is done masturbating, rather than ejaculating into a sock, he ejaculates onto the inside of his thigh next to his scrotum where it is left and not cleaned up.

After several days of patrolling, reacting to contact, etc, the soldier will have been sweating quite a bit. The sweat, combined with the humidity allows for the perfect fermentation of the semen to occur. At this point, it could be considered finished. However, it really depends on the soldier to customize his own recipe after this step. Diet, hygiene, and ass wiping habits are generally taken into account.

By day 14 when the soldier has returned to the company area,it will be ready for pranks and personal entertainment. While waiting to turn in weapons, the soldier will stick his hand into his pants and wipe the inside of his thigh next to his scrotum. He then will attempt to touch his fellow soldiers' face, and/or mouth. Sometimes they will instead compare stenches to see which is worse.
Soldier 1:"Dude, what are you going to do to your East Range Cream Sauce this time?"

Soldier 2: "My girl was totally on her period while we were banging this morning so I'm totally trying blood this time."

Soldier 3: "I did something similar with this mechanic chick while we were in the Box at JRTC, but she had a yeast infection."

Soldier 2: "DAAAMMMMN"

Soldier 4:"Remember when whats-his-name used his infected cyst pus and his chlamydia for his?"

Soldier 1: "Boy am I glad that He got out before I got stationed here....."
by elwoodblues85 August 03, 2010
1) Members of the US Navy's Construction Battalion. Famous engineers of World War II who built bridges and fought the Japanese.

2) Modern day Seabees do not do their heritage justice. More often than not, they have the lowest ASVAB scores and cannot complete a job to any sort of simple building code. Their mental capacity is demonstrated by the fact that the only reason that their name is on their uniform is so that they remember how to spell it. Somehow got convinced that they were as hard as Marines because they received some weapons familiarization in basic training. They talk more than Marines automatically categorizing themselves with Cavalry Scouts. They are 100% certain that they are infantrymen and will tell ANY infantrymen, whether they are Marines or Army, that they firmly believe that they do the same job and more. Generally a nuisance to all the other services. It is commonly known that SEALs would rather associate themselves with Army PAC clerks over Seabees. Seabees tend to get PTSD from indirect fire or getting picked on by Marines. It also has been known that Seabees will tell tragic tales of war and the severe mental burdens that follow it just to get in bed with a girl or another man. In some cases, if the story happens to be true, it was probably stolen from a Soldier with the US Army Corp of Engineers.
Seabee: There I was in Baghdad with my M16 in a firefight. There were 120 insurgents down the street firing mortars and RPG's at us but I knew that we had to get this concrete poured so I moved to a forward position and laid down suppressive fire and that's when I saw it.... A little boy wandered into the firefight and got wounded by an insurgent's rifle fire so I dove through the gunfire to rescue him, but it was too late. He bled out in my arms. I also do black ops with SEALs.

Guy at Bar: Oh my God, you poor thing! Come home with me tonight!

Girl at Bar: I don't think so bitch, he's coming with me! I AM SO WET RIGHT NOW.

Infantrymen: Dude. Are you fucking kidding me?
by elwoodblues85 July 06, 2011
In the most simple terms, a Cavalry Scout is too brave to hold an administrative position, but too much of a pussy to be an infantrymen.

They wear their spurs loud and proud and more than likely claim that they are "RECON!" or "HARDER THAN YOU" neither of which is true. They talk quite a bit, especially at bars, with wild delusions of grandeur and that they are practically infantrymen. This of course makes their ever annoying presence intolerable. Cav Scouts talk like 16 year old girls making them more obnoxious than Marines.

They're job is actually entirely outdated and they really exist on tradition alone. Definitely members of the Silly Hat Club. Total wannabes by nature. It is a proven fact that Cav Scouts cock block themselves.
Grunt #1: OMG. Cav Scouts just showed up.

Grunt #2: I thought people with down syndrome weren't allowed to drink, drive, or join the military.

Cavalry Scout: DURRR DUUUr BA DUURR DURRR DERPP DERPPPP BA DERRPA DURRRRR
by elwoodblues85 July 06, 2011
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