ctrlu's definitions

Swedish holiday

masturbating in public

Police Officer: What are you doing, sir?
Perv: I'm on a Swedish holiday.
Police Officer: Yeah, this isn't Sweden. I'm arresting you.

by ctrlU September 19, 2013

big mac

n. A unit of evil or unhealthiness against which all other things are measured.

1. Twice the calories than a big mac
2. Half the fat than a big mac
3. One eighth the sodium than a big mac
4. More racist than a big mac
5. Ten times more radiation than a big mac
6. More unprotected sex than a big mac
7. More greedy than a big mac
8. 18 more mpg than a big mac
9. Bigger boobs than a big mac
10. half as ugly as a big mac
11. More deadly than two big macs
12. Smells like a steaming heap of big macs

etc.

by ctrlU May 5, 2011

minge crust

vegma deposited and dried onto a toilet seat

Jan's house is disgusting, from the rotten stuff in the fridge to the minge crust in the bathroom.

by ctrlU September 8, 2011

decimal phone

n. a mobile phone without a full QWERTY keyboard.

Unlike a dumb phone, the decimal phone can have any number of advanced features but simply lacks the (crucial) above-mentioned I/O device.

Thomas: How come you never reply to my text messages?

Percy: I've still got a decimal phone and it sucks for texting!

by ctrlU April 9, 2011

serious

Used to differentiate between the two most common reasons for visiting the loo. Allows for open discussion of bathroom activities in public or in mixed company.

n. a bowel movement

v. to defecate

Bill: I need to go to the bathroom before we leave.
Tina: Is it serious?
Bill: Yes!
Tina: Then we'll never get out of here!

-or-

Bill: I know you're still putting on your makeup in here but I gotta go serious!

-or

Bill (with newspaper tucked under arm): I'll be back in 20 minutes, I have to conduct some serious research.

by ctrlU January 26, 2010

ILHAT

I Laughed Hard At That / This /Those

Thomas: Did you see that video with the dancing monkey?

Percy: ILHAT

by ctrlU February 18, 2011

junk shot

n. a punch in the nuts.

1. During exuberant play the toddler gave his dad an accidental junk shot he's staggering to recover from.

2. During exuberant drilling BP's negligent greed gave the planet a junk shot that it's staggering to recover from.

by ctrlU May 27, 2010