ctrlu's definitions

minge crust

vegma deposited and dried onto a toilet seat

Jan's house is disgusting, from the rotten stuff in the fridge to the minge crust in the bathroom.

by ctrlU September 8, 2011

Chunkle Fever

a skinny person's new-found preference after discovering the mind-blowing superiority of plus-sized sex partners.

Al: That girl is so hot, is that fat guy her brother?
Bob: Nah, that's her boyfriend, she's got Chunkle Fever

or

Richard: Check the giant booty on that one!
Wayne: Aw yeah...
Richard: Bro, you got Chunkle Fever

by ctrlU November 7, 2012

texclude

v. To remove a thread's originator from the active conversation, sometimes completely changing the subject.

This thread started out as a post about my cat and now you people are arguing about French cinema. I hate it when you texclude me.

by ctrlU April 2, 2011

Nerd Yoga

n. The bizarre contortions that are performed by tech support people to get at hard-to-reach equipment. Often practitioners surprise observers because they appear otherwise incapable or averse to any physically strenuous activity.

User #1: Did you get your mouse working again?
User #2: Turns out it was just unplugged. The IT guy came up and did a little Nerd Yoga to get it back in.
User #1: That guy can really bend himself into weird shapes.
User #2 True dat.

by ctrlU March 29, 2010

shit yer snatch

To completely overreact to a situation. Obviously meant to apply to women but doubly effective when applied to a man, implying they are, in fact, actually a woman.

Thomas: We're going to be late again! We have to leave and you're still sorting mail and need a wash!

Percy: Ok, don't shit yer snatch! The fat controller can wait two minutes!

by ctrlU October 20, 2010

decimal phone

n. a mobile phone without a full QWERTY keyboard.

Unlike a dumb phone, the decimal phone can have any number of advanced features but simply lacks the (crucial) above-mentioned I/O device.

Thomas: How come you never reply to my text messages?

Percy: I've still got a decimal phone and it sucks for texting!

by ctrlU April 9, 2011

big mac

n. A unit of evil or unhealthiness against which all other things are measured.

1. Twice the calories than a big mac
2. Half the fat than a big mac
3. One eighth the sodium than a big mac
4. More racist than a big mac
5. Ten times more radiation than a big mac
6. More unprotected sex than a big mac
7. More greedy than a big mac
8. 18 more mpg than a big mac
9. Bigger boobs than a big mac
10. half as ugly as a big mac
11. More deadly than two big macs
12. Smells like a steaming heap of big macs

etc.

by ctrlU May 5, 2011