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colin cummerbund's definitions

Non-regulation head-shape

A head-type sported by many civil servants, particularly Natural England employees.
Who's that?

That's Fenton, the new boss.

But he's got a non-regulation head-shape.

Haven't they all?
by Colin Cummerbund September 20, 2006
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Double Briggsy

A homosexual act in which two men stand facing each other and roll the same rubber onto both erect cocks. They then violently agitate the rubber-encased twin saveloy until both queens have emptied their sacks. Named after Briggsy, the famous art guy and co-author of The Joy of Gay Sex.
Faggot: My hobbies are painting,ironing and doing the Double Briggsy.
by Colin Cummerbund September 14, 2006
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Briggsy dogging

A variety of dogging popular in arty circles. Instead of using cars the homosexual participants arrive on penny-farthings and bugger each other senseless.
Oi queer boy. Why the big bike.

Oh, I'm off for a bit of Briggsy dogging in Clumber Park.
by Colin Cummerbund September 21, 2006
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Little Briggsy

An extremely irritating dwarf who is addicted to acne remedies and wanking to ABBA songs.
What do you call a deformed midget who cracks one off to "Dancing Queen"?

Little Briggsy?

You got it, Squire.
by Colin Cummerbund September 6, 2006
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Briggsymunting

The act of trawling arty pubs for munters. The artist will chat up the munter then take her back to his place for deviant sex. In most cases the munter weighs well over 250 pounds.
What are you up to tonight, art boy?

Me? I'm off to Pastel for some Briggsymunting.
by Colin Cummerbund September 20, 2006
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Briggsy Prize

An art prize for artists too obscure and ludicrous for even the Turner Prize. Entrants for the Briggsy Prize have included a lamb chop stuffed inside a small child's mitten, the word "talent" written on an Etch-a-sketch and a Christmas card torn in half next to a copy of the Scunthorpe Yellow Pages.
Art critic: What piece are you currently working on?

Artist: I've got a polystyrene box which I've painted purple and filled with baked apples. It represents the pain and despair of missing a phone call when you're in the shower.

Art critic: Should make the shortlist for the Briggsy Prize.
by Colin Cummerbund December 14, 2006
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Briggsy spanking

A variety of spanking indulged in by arty types. The spankee coats his arse with oil paints of many colours and bends over a sculpture of Shakespeare. The spanker then larrups the spankees paint-smeared buttocks with a palette or rolled-up canvas. The gleeful yelpings of the spankees are often recorded and sold in art shops as "Sounds to inspire you".
That fellow with the easel has quite a limp. Aubrey.

Yes. I think you'll find he's been the spankee in some Briggsy spanking.
by Colin Cummerbund September 21, 2006
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