16 definitions by colin cummerbund
A specialised form of frotteurism which is performed in art galleries during a busy exhibition. The Feldman frotteur will then scrape his secretions from his y-fronts and add them to his paints. Usually done by aging yellow-haired ex-hippies.
by colin cummerbund September 21, 2006
A television series shown on Channel 4. Loosely based on Hell's Kitchen it features the famous artist Briggsy as head chef. The contestants have to impress Briggsy by cooking meals using their own jizz. Briggsy tests all the dishes whilst playing with his little scabby cock. He awards points for taste and presentation. The winner is permitted to fellate Briggsy in Tate Modern whilst hundreds of onlookers cheer and shout arty slogans.
Are you off to Tate Modern, Quentin?
Certainly am, Benjy. The winner of Briggsy's Kitchen is receiving his prize this afternoon.
Certainly am, Benjy. The winner of Briggsy's Kitchen is receiving his prize this afternoon.
by colin cummerbund May 9, 2009
A variety of dogging popular in arty circles. Instead of using cars the homosexual participants arrive on penny-farthings and bugger each other senseless.
by colin cummerbund September 21, 2006
Otherwise known as Briggsy's Gay Mafia. A bunch of pretentious artists who punish the non-arty. They march through cities and verbally abuse anyone who dares to walk past an art gallery without going in and jizzing their pants in artistic excitement. Briggsy's Art Police is made up of all the artists who have been anally pleasured by Briggsy and who worship the dwarf as their god.
Better not walk past Tate Modern without going in. Briggsy's Art Police will be patrolling and I don't fancy being harangued by a gaggle of mincing queers.
by colin cummerbund September 18, 2006
The act of trawling arty pubs for munters. The artist will chat up the munter then take her back to his place for deviant sex. In most cases the munter weighs well over 250 pounds.
by colin cummerbund September 20, 2006
A legendary homosexual porno film starring gay artist Briggsy. The movie opens with Briggsy hitching a lift to England's gay capital in a caravan. On arrival he buggers his way through the city's gay clubs. A particularly memorable scene shows the arty dwarf bumming a Portuguese trans-sexual over a bar stool whilst a fruity-looking barman douses him with a soda syphon.
Fruity queen: So Briggsy, what title did you give your film in which you do Brighton? Something really clever?
Briggsy: Of course. I decided to call it "Briggsy Does Brighton"
Briggsy: Of course. I decided to call it "Briggsy Does Brighton"
by colin cummerbund December 8, 2006
A homosexual act in which two men stand facing each other and roll the same rubber onto both erect cocks. They then violently agitate the rubber-encased twin saveloy until both queens have emptied their sacks. Named after Briggsy, the famous art guy and co-author of The Joy of Gay Sex.
by colin cummerbund September 14, 2006