16 definitions by colin cummerbund
Going to the pub during your work lunch-break and consuming a meat pie and at least four pints of beer. The effect is doubled if the person doing a Searby has grey curly hair.
by colin cummerbund September 21, 2006
An art prize for artists too obscure and ludicrous for even the Turner Prize. Entrants for the Briggsy Prize have included a lamb chop stuffed inside a small child's mitten, the word "talent" written on an Etch-a-sketch and a Christmas card torn in half next to a copy of the Scunthorpe Yellow Pages.
Art critic: What piece are you currently working on?
Artist: I've got a polystyrene box which I've painted purple and filled with baked apples. It represents the pain and despair of missing a phone call when you're in the shower.
Art critic: Should make the shortlist for the Briggsy Prize.
Artist: I've got a polystyrene box which I've painted purple and filled with baked apples. It represents the pain and despair of missing a phone call when you're in the shower.
Art critic: Should make the shortlist for the Briggsy Prize.
by colin cummerbund December 12, 2006
Briggsy: Why pay for vaseline when my beautiful face produces copious amounts of Briggsy's Special Lube free of charge?
by colin cummerbund October 18, 2006
Who's that?
That's Fenton, the new boss.
But he's got a non-regulation head-shape.
Haven't they all?
That's Fenton, the new boss.
But he's got a non-regulation head-shape.
Haven't they all?
by colin cummerbund September 20, 2006
A hearty meal served in gay bars. Usually consists of a lump of mature nob cheese with arse pickle, thickly-sliced bread and pork pie with semen relish. Regional variations can include a rats-cock side dish with diarrhoea drizzle.
Come on Quentin, let's go to The Pink Dildo for a Briggsy Ploughman's. I'm bloody starving after that rimming session.
by colin cummerbund September 18, 2006
A specialised form of frotteurism which is performed in art galleries during a busy exhibition. The Feldman frotteur will then scrape his secretions from his y-fronts and add them to his paints. Usually done by aging yellow-haired ex-hippies.
by colin cummerbund September 21, 2006
A television series shown on Channel 4. Loosely based on Hell's Kitchen it features the famous artist Briggsy as head chef. The contestants have to impress Briggsy by cooking meals using their own jizz. Briggsy tests all the dishes whilst playing with his little scabby cock. He awards points for taste and presentation. The winner is permitted to fellate Briggsy in Tate Modern whilst hundreds of onlookers cheer and shout arty slogans.
Are you off to Tate Modern, Quentin?
Certainly am, Benjy. The winner of Briggsy's Kitchen is receiving his prize this afternoon.
Certainly am, Benjy. The winner of Briggsy's Kitchen is receiving his prize this afternoon.
by colin cummerbund May 9, 2009