cokemidget's definitions

Carbage diet

A diet in which you can eat all the carbs you want as long as you find them in the trash.

Hey, I saw you digging in the garbage at work. Are you poor?

Not poor, just trying this new carbage diet.

by cokemidget November 3, 2020

The Night of Conky

A night where your friend shows up at your house, gets all drunk, and starts talking like Conky from Trailer Park Boys. He/she might also whip out a miniature Conky puppet to add to the effect.

Rachelle: Ravvviiiinnneee.
Colin: Hey Rachelle, how much have you have to drink tonight?
Rachelle: I don't know, stuuupiiid.
Fannie: Somebody take that puppet away from her. It's really pissing me off.
Andrzej: It's The Night of Conky!

by cokemidget August 14, 2009

planned hammer

Basically a pre-scheduled bender. It's a result of turning 30 and having to plan your hangovers around other obligations like your job or your kids.

Sarah: Hey Kimmy, can you take my morning shift at IHOP on Sunday? I have to go to church that morning.

Kimmy: I'd love to, but I have a planned hammer on Saturday. I'm going to a kegger at Lorenzo's house, and i plan on getting white girl wasted.

Sarah: Can I come?

Kimmie: No way churchie.

by cokemidget March 31, 2017

ghettoscaping

Landscaping on a budget.

Nice use of Michelins in your yard. They sure blend in to the landscape! Ghettoscaping FTW!

by cokemidget August 28, 2012

REI

A Relationship Experience Index (REI) is a number assigned to the length of one's longest relationship, which determines who else you can be with after the relationships ends. Basically you can only date people within your own REI.

REI Level 1: 0-1 years
REI Level 2: 2-5 years
REI Level 3: 6-10 years
REI Level 4: Over 10 years

Rick: Hey Consuella, wanna go out with me this friday?

Consuella: Sorry, I'm a REI Level 2 and you're only a Level 1. You KNOW that's not allowed!

Rick: It's ok, I'll just cry myself to sleep tonight.

by cokemidget September 14, 2012

suburban tourist

A douchebag who drives around the suburbs at half the legal speed limit, looking at houses that he and his stuck up yuppie wife would like to purchase. Suburban tourists usually travel in groups of twos or threes in late model Dodge Caravans or VW Jettas, and have a tendency to stop randomly to point and discuss the latest shade of any butt-ugly pastel coloured siding they might encounter. They also love to stare at you when you're mowing the lawn, as they seem to think their stares and finger pointing are invisible to anyone outside their car.

I was late coming home for dinner today. There was a hoard of suburban tourists driving down Rutherford Road. FUCK ME!

by cokemidget June 28, 2008

economy leech

An individual who leaves one region to profit from the economic prosperity of another region. Generally, economy leeches have no marketable skills and and therefore contribute very little to the well being of their new environment. They arrive in droves and their presence usually results in a steep increase in rent prices. Economy leeches usually appear disoriented in traffic, and can be identified by their out-of-province license plates and their constant whining about social problems, which they themselves have caused.

In Alberta, economy leeches are sometimes called Buffalo Hunters, in reference to the 19th European settlers who raped and pillaged the bison population of the prairie provinces for their precious hides.

I was totally late to work today. I was driving behind some newfie economy leech who drove 20 under the limit because he didn't know where he was going.

by cokemidget January 15, 2008