cokemidget's definitions

Skittlepox

A contagious rash similar to chicken pox, but with edible skittles appearing on a person's body. Popularized in a 2013 Skittles commercial.

Baby, I've got something to tell you. I have skittlepox...on my dick.

Is it contagious?

Just keep sucking it, bitch.

by cokemidget December 16, 2013

pedowan

A type of character in the Star Wars character that has a sexual attraction to young padawin learners . Pedowans generally live solitary lives on the planet Pedooine in the Pedobah system mentioned briefly in Episode IV. It is debatable, but Qui-Gon Jinn might have been a pedowan, when he drugged and kidnapped young Anakin Skywalker in Star Wars: Episode I: The Phantom Anus.

Dude, I think Anakin Skywalker is a pedowan.

No, he's just played by a shitty actor.

by cokemidget January 16, 2008

workers comp hustle

The act of deliberately injuring yourself on the job to collect workers' compensation insurance. The phrase was immortalized in the Canadian classic movie Fubar 2, when Deaner broke his leg with a 60lb pipeline beam in order to collect some WCB.

I just can't take it up here in the Ft. Mac oilfields. The work is hard, the hours are long, and the job sucks. Time for the workers comp hustle.

by cokemidget May 23, 2018

REI

A Relationship Experience Index (REI) is a number assigned to the length of one's longest relationship, which determines who else you can be with after the relationships ends. Basically you can only date people within your own REI.

REI Level 1: 0-1 years
REI Level 2: 2-5 years
REI Level 3: 6-10 years
REI Level 4: Over 10 years

Rick: Hey Consuella, wanna go out with me this friday?

Consuella: Sorry, I'm a REI Level 2 and you're only a Level 1. You KNOW that's not allowed!

Rick: It's ok, I'll just cry myself to sleep tonight.

by cokemidget September 14, 2012

suburban tourist

A douchebag who drives around the suburbs at half the legal speed limit, looking at houses that he and his stuck up yuppie wife would like to purchase. Suburban tourists usually travel in groups of twos or threes in late model Dodge Caravans or VW Jettas, and have a tendency to stop randomly to point and discuss the latest shade of any butt-ugly pastel coloured siding they might encounter. They also love to stare at you when you're mowing the lawn, as they seem to think their stares and finger pointing are invisible to anyone outside their car.

I was late coming home for dinner today. There was a hoard of suburban tourists driving down Rutherford Road. FUCK ME!

by cokemidget June 28, 2008

Junky beers

Having beers with homeless junkies in front of the homeless shelter.

On a Tuesday morning:

AP: what's the plan for today
Marek: let's get coffee and get junky beers
AP: and then what?
Marek: we eat, then go for junky beers

by Cokemidget March 13, 2022

Carbage diet

A diet in which you can eat all the carbs you want as long as you find them in the trash.

Hey, I saw you digging in the garbage at work. Are you poor?

Not poor, just trying this new carbage diet.

by cokemidget November 3, 2020