cokemidget's definitions

Lancer

A type of car produced by Japanese manufacturer Mitsubishi. Lancers are usually driven by some 24 year old white guy with a sideways hat who is blasting his Tupac CD, who also doesn't realize Tupac stopped being cool about six years ago and the sideways hat makes him look like a bell-end. The driver was most likely duped into thinking he bought a sports car, so he will usually rev his engine to try and race you, but his car can't outrun my 2002 four door civic dx, or my six year old sister who is crippled, deaf, and retarded.

Is that Derwitt's new car? Is that a Lex? Oh wait, it's just a lancer.

by cokemidget June 28, 2008

Jetta

A small, family sedan built by German car manufacturer Volkswagen. Jettas are pretty nice, but tend to break down after a couple of years of driving. They are usually purchased by yuppies, homosexuals, and suburban tourists who have money, but not too much money. For this reason, people sometimes refer to the Jetta as the poor man's BMW.

Look at that douchebag driving his Jetta. Who the hell does he think he is? Oh, look he has a passenger, and it's another dude... surprise, surprise...

by cokemidget June 28, 2008

Pontiac Driver

An individual who drives a Pontiac. This term originates from a marketing slogan used by GM to promote their shitty Pontiac automobiles. However, in recent years it has been more commonly used as a derogatory term, as Pontiacs seem to be the car of choice for those with absolutely no driving skills.

Dude, we start work at 8:00, not 10:30.

I know, I know, I was rear-ended by some stupid bitch driving a pink Sunfire. Fucking Pontiac Drivers!

by cokemidget January 14, 2008

workers comp hustle

The act of deliberately injuring yourself on the job to collect workers' compensation insurance. The phrase was immortalized in the Canadian classic movie Fubar 2, when Deaner broke his leg with a 60lb pipeline beam in order to collect some WCB.

I just can't take it up here in the Ft. Mac oilfields. The work is hard, the hours are long, and the job sucks. Time for the workers comp hustle.

by cokemidget May 23, 2018

The Night of Conky

A night where your friend shows up at your house, gets all drunk, and starts talking like Conky from Trailer Park Boys. He/she might also whip out a miniature Conky puppet to add to the effect.

Rachelle: Ravvviiiinnneee.
Colin: Hey Rachelle, how much have you have to drink tonight?
Rachelle: I don't know, stuuupiiid.
Fannie: Somebody take that puppet away from her. It's really pissing me off.
Andrzej: It's The Night of Conky!

by cokemidget August 14, 2009

planned hammer

Basically a pre-scheduled bender. It's a result of turning 30 and having to plan your hangovers around other obligations like your job or your kids.

Sarah: Hey Kimmy, can you take my morning shift at IHOP on Sunday? I have to go to church that morning.

Kimmy: I'd love to, but I have a planned hammer on Saturday. I'm going to a kegger at Lorenzo's house, and i plan on getting white girl wasted.

Sarah: Can I come?

Kimmie: No way churchie.

by cokemidget March 31, 2017

economy leech

An individual who leaves one region to profit from the economic prosperity of another region. Generally, economy leeches have no marketable skills and and therefore contribute very little to the well being of their new environment. They arrive in droves and their presence usually results in a steep increase in rent prices. Economy leeches usually appear disoriented in traffic, and can be identified by their out-of-province license plates and their constant whining about social problems, which they themselves have caused.

In Alberta, economy leeches are sometimes called Buffalo Hunters, in reference to the 19th European settlers who raped and pillaged the bison population of the prairie provinces for their precious hides.

I was totally late to work today. I was driving behind some newfie economy leech who drove 20 under the limit because he didn't know where he was going.

by cokemidget January 15, 2008