cokemidget's definitions

Carbage diet

A diet in which you can eat all the carbs you want as long as you find them in the trash.

Hey, I saw you digging in the garbage at work. Are you poor?

Not poor, just trying this new carbage diet.

by cokemidget November 3, 2020

Stabcident

An incident where someone is stabbed.

Hey Scott... don’t let this knife fight end with a you in a hospital because of an unexpected stabcident

by cokemidget November 3, 2020

Skittlepox

A contagious rash similar to chicken pox, but with edible skittles appearing on a person's body. Popularized in a 2013 Skittles commercial.

Baby, I've got something to tell you. I have skittlepox...on my dick.

Is it contagious?

Just keep sucking it, bitch.

by cokemidget December 16, 2013

Jetta

A small, family sedan built by German car manufacturer Volkswagen. Jettas are pretty nice, but tend to break down after a couple of years of driving. They are usually purchased by yuppies, homosexuals, and suburban tourists who have money, but not too much money. For this reason, people sometimes refer to the Jetta as the poor man's BMW.

Look at that douchebag driving his Jetta. Who the hell does he think he is? Oh, look he has a passenger, and it's another dude... surprise, surprise...

by cokemidget June 28, 2008

mcf

Credit Union lingo for "Members Come First". Credit Unions are like banks, only better, because they use covert phrases to communicate their dedication to excellent customer service.

MCF guys, MCF! There are 12 members in line, why are you doing another mini balance?

by cokemidget March 1, 2008

suburban tourist

A douchebag who drives around the suburbs at half the legal speed limit, looking at houses that he and his stuck up yuppie wife would like to purchase. Suburban tourists usually travel in groups of twos or threes in late model Dodge Caravans or VW Jettas, and have a tendency to stop randomly to point and discuss the latest shade of any butt-ugly pastel coloured siding they might encounter. They also love to stare at you when you're mowing the lawn, as they seem to think their stares and finger pointing are invisible to anyone outside their car.

I was late coming home for dinner today. There was a hoard of suburban tourists driving down Rutherford Road. FUCK ME!

by cokemidget June 28, 2008

REI

A Relationship Experience Index (REI) is a number assigned to the length of one's longest relationship, which determines who else you can be with after the relationships ends. Basically you can only date people within your own REI.

REI Level 1: 0-1 years
REI Level 2: 2-5 years
REI Level 3: 6-10 years
REI Level 4: Over 10 years

Rick: Hey Consuella, wanna go out with me this friday?

Consuella: Sorry, I'm a REI Level 2 and you're only a Level 1. You KNOW that's not allowed!

Rick: It's ok, I'll just cry myself to sleep tonight.

by cokemidget September 14, 2012