cokemidget's definitions

REI

A Relationship Experience Index (REI) is a number assigned to the length of one's longest relationship, which determines who else you can be with after the relationships ends. Basically you can only date people within your own REI.

REI Level 1: 0-1 years
REI Level 2: 2-5 years
REI Level 3: 6-10 years
REI Level 4: Over 10 years

Rick: Hey Consuella, wanna go out with me this friday?

Consuella: Sorry, I'm a REI Level 2 and you're only a Level 1. You KNOW that's not allowed!

Rick: It's ok, I'll just cry myself to sleep tonight.

by cokemidget September 14, 2012

Lancer

A type of car produced by Japanese manufacturer Mitsubishi. Lancers are usually driven by some 24 year old white guy with a sideways hat who is blasting his Tupac CD, who also doesn't realize Tupac stopped being cool about six years ago and the sideways hat makes him look like a bell-end. The driver was most likely duped into thinking he bought a sports car, so he will usually rev his engine to try and race you, but his car can't outrun my 2002 four door civic dx, or my six year old sister who is crippled, deaf, and retarded.

Is that Derwitt's new car? Is that a Lex? Oh wait, it's just a lancer.

by cokemidget June 28, 2008

Skittlepox

A contagious rash similar to chicken pox, but with edible skittles appearing on a person's body. Popularized in a 2013 Skittles commercial.

Baby, I've got something to tell you. I have skittlepox...on my dick.

Is it contagious?

Just keep sucking it, bitch.

by cokemidget December 16, 2013

workers comp hustle

The act of deliberately injuring yourself on the job to collect workers' compensation insurance. The phrase was immortalized in the Canadian classic movie Fubar 2, when Deaner broke his leg with a 60lb pipeline beam in order to collect some WCB.

I just can't take it up here in the Ft. Mac oilfields. The work is hard, the hours are long, and the job sucks. Time for the workers comp hustle.

by cokemidget May 23, 2018

Pontiac Driver

An individual who drives a Pontiac. This term originates from a marketing slogan used by GM to promote their shitty Pontiac automobiles. However, in recent years it has been more commonly used as a derogatory term, as Pontiacs seem to be the car of choice for those with absolutely no driving skills.

Dude, we start work at 8:00, not 10:30.

I know, I know, I was rear-ended by some stupid bitch driving a pink Sunfire. Fucking Pontiac Drivers!

by cokemidget January 14, 2008

economy leech

An individual who leaves one region to profit from the economic prosperity of another region. Generally, economy leeches have no marketable skills and and therefore contribute very little to the well being of their new environment. They arrive in droves and their presence usually results in a steep increase in rent prices. Economy leeches usually appear disoriented in traffic, and can be identified by their out-of-province license plates and their constant whining about social problems, which they themselves have caused.

In Alberta, economy leeches are sometimes called Buffalo Hunters, in reference to the 19th European settlers who raped and pillaged the bison population of the prairie provinces for their precious hides.

I was totally late to work today. I was driving behind some newfie economy leech who drove 20 under the limit because he didn't know where he was going.

by cokemidget January 15, 2008

filipino gene

A gene carried by certain individuals which causes massive intoxication from minute amounts of alcohol. This recessive gene is predominantly seen in the Filipino community, hence the name.

"Hey what's wrong with Luiz? He just got here and he's already smashed."

"Don't worry about him; that's just the Filipino gene at work."

by cokemidget January 10, 2008