cokemidget's definitions

pronger

Lying about the facts to make yourself feel better about being a weasel and dodging your responsibilities.

The word originates from the infamous hockey player Chris Pronger, who spreads the untrue rumours about irate Edmonton fans burning his furniture, including his baby's crib, after he asked to be traded from the Oilers. Although Pronger could not be reached for comment, it is assumed he was trying to divert attention from the fact that he asked to be traded from the Oilers after completing a measly one year of his five year contract.

I totally prongered about being sick today. I told my boss I had massive diarrhea, but in fact I just hate my job and didn't feel like going.

by cokemidget January 21, 2008

Jetta

A small, family sedan built by German car manufacturer Volkswagen. Jettas are pretty nice, but tend to break down after a couple of years of driving. They are usually purchased by yuppies, homosexuals, and suburban tourists who have money, but not too much money. For this reason, people sometimes refer to the Jetta as the poor man's BMW.

Look at that douchebag driving his Jetta. Who the hell does he think he is? Oh, look he has a passenger, and it's another dude... surprise, surprise...

by cokemidget June 28, 2008

workers comp hustle

The act of deliberately injuring yourself on the job to collect workers' compensation insurance. The phrase was immortalized in the Canadian classic movie Fubar 2, when Deaner broke his leg with a 60lb pipeline beam in order to collect some WCB.

I just can't take it up here in the Ft. Mac oilfields. The work is hard, the hours are long, and the job sucks. Time for the workers comp hustle.

by cokemidget May 23, 2018

Pontiac Driver

An individual who drives a Pontiac. This term originates from a marketing slogan used by GM to promote their shitty Pontiac automobiles. However, in recent years it has been more commonly used as a derogatory term, as Pontiacs seem to be the car of choice for those with absolutely no driving skills.

Dude, we start work at 8:00, not 10:30.

I know, I know, I was rear-ended by some stupid bitch driving a pink Sunfire. Fucking Pontiac Drivers!

by cokemidget January 14, 2008

Junky beers

Having beers with homeless junkies in front of the homeless shelter.

On a Tuesday morning:

AP: what's the plan for today
Marek: let's get coffee and get junky beers
AP: and then what?
Marek: we eat, then go for junky beers

by Cokemidget March 13, 2022

The Night of Conky

A night where your friend shows up at your house, gets all drunk, and starts talking like Conky from Trailer Park Boys. He/she might also whip out a miniature Conky puppet to add to the effect.

Rachelle: Ravvviiiinnneee.
Colin: Hey Rachelle, how much have you have to drink tonight?
Rachelle: I don't know, stuuupiiid.
Fannie: Somebody take that puppet away from her. It's really pissing me off.
Andrzej: It's The Night of Conky!

by cokemidget August 14, 2009

planned hammer

Basically a pre-scheduled bender. It's a result of turning 30 and having to plan your hangovers around other obligations like your job or your kids.

Sarah: Hey Kimmy, can you take my morning shift at IHOP on Sunday? I have to go to church that morning.

Kimmy: I'd love to, but I have a planned hammer on Saturday. I'm going to a kegger at Lorenzo's house, and i plan on getting white girl wasted.

Sarah: Can I come?

Kimmie: No way churchie.

by cokemidget March 31, 2017