A douchebag who drives around the suburbs at half the legal speed limit, looking at houses that he and his stuck up yuppie wife would like to purchase. Suburban tourists usually travel in groups of twos or threes in late model Dodge Caravans or VW Jettas, and have a tendency to stop randomly to point and discuss the latest shade of any butt-ugly pastel coloured siding they might encounter. They also love to stare at you when you're mowing the lawn, as they seem to think their stares and finger pointing are invisible to anyone outside their car.
I was late coming home for dinner today. There was a hoard of suburban tourists driving down Rutherford Road. FUCK ME!
A gene carried by certain individuals which causes massive intoxication from minute amounts of alcohol. This recessive gene is predominantly seen in the Filipino community, hence the name.
"Hey what's wrong with Luiz? He just got here and he's already smashed."
"Don't worry about him; that's just the Filipino gene at work."
A night where your friend shows up at your house, gets all drunk, and starts talking like Conky from Trailer Park Boys. He/she might also whip out a miniature Conky puppet to add to the effect.
Colin: Hey Rachelle, how much have you have to drink tonight?
Rachelle: I don't know, stuuupiiid.
Fannie: Somebody take that puppet away from her. It's really pissing me off.
Andrzej: It's The Night of Conky!
Getting dumped for a chump. It's when you're friends with some chick who you hang out with or whatever, who then starts dating some other chump and never talks to you ever again. This leaves you sitting there on a cold leather couch in your underwear playing Wii bowling, drinking stale MGD, and wondering where the hell your friends are. Then after thinking about it, you come to two logical conclusions:
1. The chick totally had a thing for you. Now that she has a boyfriend, she no longer has use for any other guys she wanted to bang. But in the end, you ended up on top because of #2 (see below):
2. The guy she's dating is totally gay and will probably end up beating her out of frustration.
Hey, you handsome hunk of man meat, weren't you supposed to hang out with Helga tonight?
No, she totally chumped me.
A Relationship Experience Index (REI) is a number assigned to the length of one's longest relationship, which determines who else you can be with after the relationships ends. Basically you can only date people within your own REI.
REI Level 1: 0-1 years
REI Level 2: 2-5 years
REI Level 3: 6-10 years
REI Level 4: Over 10 years
Rick: Hey Consuella, wanna go out with me this friday?
Consuella: Sorry, I'm a REI Level 2 and you're only a Level 1. You KNOW that's not allowed!
Rick: It's ok, I'll just cry myself to sleep tonight.
A contagious rash similar to chicken pox, but with edible skittles appearing on a person's body. Popularized in a 2013 Skittles commercial.
Baby, I've got something to tell you. I have skittlepox...on my dick.
Is it contagious?
Just keep sucking it, bitch.
When a fat chick dies, but there's still one last good fuck in her before she goes into rigormortis. The pussy is usually pretty cold and reuqires quite a bit of lube to make it enjoyable. You know a necropussy is expired with the arrival of maggots, at which point you should probably be calling someone.
My wife died last night from eating too much KFC, but I still got a piece of necropussy before calling the coroner. It wasn't the best pussy I ever got, but it was still the better than most sex I've had with her. She shit the bed too, like Chef in that episode of south park....it was wet and runny and smelled worse than a urine stained homeless black guy on meth. Now I have to go to Sears to replace my diarrhea stained mattress. Anyone got a truck?