cokemidget's definitions

Suicide Sunday

The Sunday following a hefty Saturday night bender. After a long night of drinking, the person usually wakes up at around 2:00 p.m. on Sunday afternoon, and feels so sick and depressed that suicide looks like a very attractive option to end the day.

I did nothing on Saturday night except for chugging 8 beers and a 26 of rye. And Sunday... well let me tell you it was one hell of a Suicide Sunday.

by cokemidget January 3, 2008

Stabcident

An incident where someone is stabbed.

Hey Scott... don’t let this knife fight end with a you in a hospital because of an unexpected stabcident

by cokemidget November 3, 2020

DIB

A person, often a woman, of aboriginal descent, who is drunk and a bitch. Alternatively, one could say "Bastard" instead of "Bitch".

"Watch out, there's a DIB in that car!"

by cokemidget January 3, 2008

chumped

Getting dumped for a chump. It's when you're friends with some chick who you hang out with or whatever, who then starts dating some other chump and never talks to you ever again. This leaves you sitting there on a cold leather couch in your underwear playing Wii bowling, drinking stale MGD, and wondering where the hell your friends are. Then after thinking about it, you come to two logical conclusions:

1. The chick totally had a thing for you. Now that she has a boyfriend, she no longer has use for any other guys she wanted to bang. But in the end, you ended up on top because of #2 (see below):
2. The guy she's dating is totally gay and will probably end up beating her out of frustration.

Hey, you handsome hunk of man meat, weren't you supposed to hang out with Helga tonight?

No, she totally chumped me.

by cokemidget June 23, 2008

pronger

Lying about the facts to make yourself feel better about being a weasel and dodging your responsibilities.

The word originates from the infamous hockey player Chris Pronger, who spreads the untrue rumours about irate Edmonton fans burning his furniture, including his baby's crib, after he asked to be traded from the Oilers.

I totally prongered about being sick today. I told my boss I had massive diarrhea, but in fact I just hate my job and didn't feel like going.

by cokemidget January 10, 2009

Rob Fording

The act of getting all wasted and doing crack.

Guy 1: Man, you were out of control last night.
Guy 2: Yeah, I was Rob Fording it pretty hard.

by cokemidget November 10, 2013

suburban tourist

A douchebag who drives around the suburbs at half the legal speed limit, looking at houses that he and his stuck up yuppie wife would like to purchase. Suburban tourists usually travel in groups of twos or threes in late model Dodge Caravans or VW Jettas, and have a tendency to stop randomly to point and discuss the latest shade of any butt-ugly pastel coloured siding they might encounter. They also love to stare at you when you're mowing the lawn, as they seem to think their stares and finger pointing are invisible to anyone outside their car.

I was late coming home for dinner today. There was a hoard of suburban tourists driving down Rutherford Road. FUCK ME!

by cokemidget June 28, 2008