chris ord's definitions

swamp sock

A stray sock often found beneath the bed of a teenage boy with a strangely stiffened texture used primarily as a recepticle for masturbatory ejaculate . Use has possibly increased due to current concerns for the environment as the item is reusable unlike tissues .

Mum - Johnny , I must try another brand of fabric condition as I had to boil wash the sock i found under your bed as it was so stiff !

Johnny - ...Erm...gumph!...swamp sock

by chris ord June 27, 2010

what fettle

A greeting , mainly used by older members of the community in North East Mining communities,latterly bastardised by younger members of the community to signify the achievement of the physical act of love,when such topics are discussed in a public house etc.

"I told her to get up stairs , pull her nighty up,and I gave her What Fettle"

by Chris Ord August 31, 2006

stotts

Testicles,nuts,colloquial North East

Come here and Ill kick you in the Stotts

by Chris Ord August 31, 2006

stott on

Errection,Hard on North East Colloquial

I cant sit down ,Ive got a right stott on

by Chris Ord August 31, 2006

crackers

Pants,Underpants North East colloquial.

Im touching cloth,Ive shit me crackers

by Chris Ord August 31, 2006

teddy bears arm

A large lump of excrement,possibly left in the pot overnight,giving it a furry appearence around the edges

i went to perform my morning ablutions and imagine my surprise when i discovered someone had left ateddy bears arm in my toilet.

by Chris Ord August 31, 2006

log effect tile

Waterproof smear left by an untidy toilet user(usually on a virgin train)which starts below the rim and inexplicably continues and survives intact beneath the waterline.

Some ones fitted a log effect tile in that public conveience

by Chris Ord August 31, 2006