15 definitions by captmurk
Guy: We ain't having sex right now. I haven't showered once on this camping trip.
Girl: Don't worry about it, my goose cheese will even the score.
Girl: Don't worry about it, my goose cheese will even the score.
by captmurk June 16, 2015
A person, usually male, who drives a mini van with anger and recklessness. It is a reflection of a person's aggravation with what their life has become. These people likely hate the fact that they had way more kids than they intended, and the pressure of accommodating these high maintenance brats, in combination with having to drive such an embarrassing vehicle, has reached a boiling point. They can be commonly spotted doing 90mph on the freeway swerving in and out of lanes cursing to themselves.
Bystander 1: Wow, did you see that guy?!?! He almost killed two pedestrians and a dog while blowing that stop sign.
Bystander 2: Yeah, classic mini van rage. He's probably late to a parent/teacher meeting.
Bystander 2: Yeah, classic mini van rage. He's probably late to a parent/teacher meeting.
by captmurk November 13, 2013
The surprisingly attractive and fairly successful female governor of Alaska. She belongs to the Republican party. Unlike the party of all these "tolerant" liberals who are demonizing her on this website for being Christian and considering fiscal responsibility, and energy independence a priority.
Liberal 1: I belong to the party of acceptance that respects all people for who they are and what they believe. But Sarah Palin is a stupid cunt of a whore who has the mind of a Neanderthal because she embraces Christian values and enjoys the outdoors and hunting.
Liberal 2: Yeah, tell me about it. Those Republicans are nothing but evil, rich, white Nazi bastards who just want to murder gays and starve our children. I'm so thankful that I belong to the Party of Tolerance that never participates in prejudice or bigotry.
Liberal 2: Yeah, tell me about it. Those Republicans are nothing but evil, rich, white Nazi bastards who just want to murder gays and starve our children. I'm so thankful that I belong to the Party of Tolerance that never participates in prejudice or bigotry.
by captmurk December 3, 2013
What white privilege should actually be called. Could also be referred to as common sense. Describes the naturally occurring phenomenon in which being apart of the majority has at least some measurable advantage. Applies to any majority group, anywhere, at any point in time. Whites have an advantage in North America and Europe in a similar way that Asians have an advantage in China, Hispanics have an advantage in Columbia, Muslims have an advantage in Iran, Jews have an advantage in Israel, conservatives have an advantage in Birmingham, liberals have an advantage in Portland, etc.
by captmurk July 23, 2018
Dude: "Hey man, have you ever noticed the similarities between nachos and religion?"
Bro: "What the fuck are you talking about?"
Dude: "Layers, man. It's all about the layers..."
Bro: "Yeah, I'm not nearly baked enough to grasp the full depth of this highdeology."
Bro: "What the fuck are you talking about?"
Dude: "Layers, man. It's all about the layers..."
Bro: "Yeah, I'm not nearly baked enough to grasp the full depth of this highdeology."
by captmurk January 17, 2014
A better abbreviation for 'Richard'
Dave: "Hey Chard, how you been?"
Chard: "My name is Richard, but you can call me Rich, Rick, Ricky, or Dick"
Dave: "No, your name is Chard"
Chard: "My name is Richard, but you can call me Rich, Rick, Ricky, or Dick"
Dave: "No, your name is Chard"
by captmurk August 22, 2014
Using another speeding car to mask your speeding, thereby avoiding radar detection. A speed screen can be executed by falling in behind another speeding car on the freeway while driving only slightly slower than them. The idea is that the potential highway patrol officer, a mile up the road, will tag his/her car first with his radar gun, allowing you enough time to slow down and slip by unnoticed.
A speed screen expert will also be observant of the leading car's braking habits. If he/she randomly hits their brakes, it's likely that they've spotted an officer up the road. Their brake lights act as a potential police warning system.
The ideal speed screen is one in which you are sandwiched between two speeding cars, one in front, one in back. The rear car will screen you from flanking police cruisers.
A speed screen expert will also be observant of the leading car's braking habits. If he/she randomly hits their brakes, it's likely that they've spotted an officer up the road. Their brake lights act as a potential police warning system.
The ideal speed screen is one in which you are sandwiched between two speeding cars, one in front, one in back. The rear car will screen you from flanking police cruisers.
Example 1:
Wife: Can you drive faster, we're late.
Husband: I don't want to get a ticket.
Wife: Just use a speed screen you pussy.
Example 2:
Driver: Dude, this guy coming up behind me is flying.
Passenger: That's a perfect speed screen, get behind him and step on it.
Wife: Can you drive faster, we're late.
Husband: I don't want to get a ticket.
Wife: Just use a speed screen you pussy.
Example 2:
Driver: Dude, this guy coming up behind me is flying.
Passenger: That's a perfect speed screen, get behind him and step on it.
by captmurk November 14, 2013