authoor's definitions

fortune crookie

When you crack your fortune cookie open, the fortune crookie takes your fortune and reads it first, so as to make the fortune theirs. Similar to the hamburglar, only with fortune cookies.

Legend has it that the first person to read the fortune, after the cookie has been opened, will own that fortune, unless the fortune is read aloud, by which the fortune becomes no longer valid.

When Fundo cracked his fortune cookie open, the fortune crookie ran past and grabbed the fortune out of the cookie before Fundo had a chance to read it.

by authOOr June 29, 2006

dirtface

the feeling of dried up dirt, sweat, and/or sex juice on your face after a long day of hard work.

After a long day of hard work, Fundo got home and slept, only to find the Shroud of Fundo on his pillow when he awoke. He thought it was a message from the messiah, but it was really just his dirtface.

by authOOr June 27, 2006

playing detective

Asking too many questions about a person's life.

Asker: Wanna go to a party tomorrow?
Fundo: I already made plans with my lady.
Asker: What's her name? Where you going? What time? How long you been together?!
Fundo: What the hell!? Quit playing detective on me, or I'll kill ya'.

by authOOr June 30, 2006

wannabe killer

Someone who is given a chance to be a killer, told who and where the mark will be, but backs down in the end. When the mark is terminated, the one offered the job, but was unable to complete the mission, pretends that he is the one who killed the mark. Thus, making him a wannabe killer or wannabe gangsta.

Scared Kid: Hey Fundo, can you kill this guy for me? Because I'm too scared to do it.
Fundo: Fuck that. I ain't killin' him for you. I'mma kill him for the fun of it.
Scared Kid: You're gangsta'. I can't kill people. I'll cry.
Fundo: Little bitch. Move out my way!

*stab* *stab* *slice* *stab*

Fundo: Job complete.
Scared Kid: And I did all the work.
Fundo: What? What the hell are you talking about? You went crying home to mommy.
Scared Kid: That's not what the girl says...
Fundo: She saw me do it.
Scared Kid: Well, She says she saw me do it.
Fundo: You're a wanksta' nigga. Wannabe Killer.

by authOOr October 16, 2006

pimple mirror

Someone who gets a lot of puss.

Furby wishes he could get as much puss as Elmo the pimple mirror.

by authOOr June 19, 2006

makes money

Makes money means takes money.

Friends: Hey Fundo, what do you do for a living?
Fundo: I makes money.
Friends: Why don't you get a job like everyone else?!

by authOOr June 26, 2006

slut

Someone Lost Underwear Tonight.
Smells Like Used Tang.

What you say to your hoe friend when you know they just got some action.

Fundip: "Damn. I reek of puss juice."
Fundo: "Slut!"
Fundip: "Well...I went commando. Besides, I'm a Kool-Aid man."

by authOOr July 10, 2006