authoor's definitions

fortune crookie

When you crack your fortune cookie open, the fortune crookie takes your fortune and reads it first, so as to make the fortune theirs. Similar to the hamburglar, only with fortune cookies.

Legend has it that the first person to read the fortune, after the cookie has been opened, will own that fortune, unless the fortune is read aloud, by which the fortune becomes no longer valid.

When Fundo cracked his fortune cookie open, the fortune crookie ran past and grabbed the fortune out of the cookie before Fundo had a chance to read it.

by authOOr June 29, 2006

swab the deck

When someone is told to swab the deck, they are being told to either eat a dick or clean a dick, depending on the context.

Pirate: Arrr!! Fundo. Swab the deck!!
Fundo: No way!! I ain't touching your smegma!!
Pirate: Arrrr!! Then, swab the deck, Fundo!!

by authOOr June 29, 2006

dirtface

the feeling of dried up dirt, sweat, and/or sex juice on your face after a long day of hard work.

After a long day of hard work, Fundo got home and slept, only to find the Shroud of Fundo on his pillow when he awoke. He thought it was a message from the messiah, but it was really just his dirtface.

by authOOr June 27, 2006

learning a new language

when you are learning a new language, you are working on a new piece of ass.

Fundo's girlfriend told him that she was learning a new language, so Fundo decided to choke a bitch.

by authOOr June 27, 2006

school

School is another word for gang or set.

Fundip: What school you from?
Fundo: TCE, nigga! Travelling Circles Elementary!! B-yotch!!

by authOOr July 11, 2006

day killer

Someone who's had a bad day, and uses their negative emotions against you, or someone in a terrible mood who tries to make everyone feel the same way. All in all, they bring everyone down with their negative energy to bring themselves up. Similar to a party pooper.

Mary D. and Elizabeth got so drunk at the party last night, they woke up in a pile of vomit next to an old man. When they went to school, they dumped on everyone they saw. Everyone did not enjoy shit on their faces, so they called Mary D. and Elizabeth "the day killers."

by authOOr July 5, 2006

trick door

A trick door is the door that you try to push open when you really must pull open, or a door that you try to pull open when you really must push open.

Fundo broke his wrist trying to push open the trick door that only opened by pulling.

by authOOr June 30, 2006