authoor's definitions

fortune crookie

When you crack your fortune cookie open, the fortune crookie takes your fortune and reads it first, so as to make the fortune theirs. Similar to the hamburglar, only with fortune cookies.

Legend has it that the first person to read the fortune, after the cookie has been opened, will own that fortune, unless the fortune is read aloud, by which the fortune becomes no longer valid.

When Fundo cracked his fortune cookie open, the fortune crookie ran past and grabbed the fortune out of the cookie before Fundo had a chance to read it.

by authOOr June 29, 2006

dirtface

the feeling of dried up dirt, sweat, and/or sex juice on your face after a long day of hard work.

After a long day of hard work, Fundo got home and slept, only to find the Shroud of Fundo on his pillow when he awoke. He thought it was a message from the messiah, but it was really just his dirtface.

by authOOr June 27, 2006

day killer

Someone who's had a bad day, and uses their negative emotions against you, or someone in a terrible mood who tries to make everyone feel the same way. All in all, they bring everyone down with their negative energy to bring themselves up. Similar to a party pooper.

Mary D. and Elizabeth got so drunk at the party last night, they woke up in a pile of vomit next to an old man. When they went to school, they dumped on everyone they saw. Everyone did not enjoy shit on their faces, so they called Mary D. and Elizabeth "the day killers."

by authOOr July 5, 2006

wannabe killer

Someone who is given a chance to be a killer, told who and where the mark will be, but backs down in the end. When the mark is terminated, the one offered the job, but was unable to complete the mission, pretends that he is the one who killed the mark. Thus, making him a wannabe killer or wannabe gangsta.

Scared Kid: Hey Fundo, can you kill this guy for me? Because I'm too scared to do it.
Fundo: Fuck that. I ain't killin' him for you. I'mma kill him for the fun of it.
Scared Kid: You're gangsta'. I can't kill people. I'll cry.
Fundo: Little bitch. Move out my way!

*stab* *stab* *slice* *stab*

Fundo: Job complete.
Scared Kid: And I did all the work.
Fundo: What? What the hell are you talking about? You went crying home to mommy.
Scared Kid: That's not what the girl says...
Fundo: She saw me do it.
Scared Kid: Well, She says she saw me do it.
Fundo: You're a wanksta' nigga. Wannabe Killer.

by authOOr October 16, 2006

pimple mirror

Someone who gets a lot of puss.

Furby wishes he could get as much puss as Elmo the pimple mirror.

by authOOr June 19, 2006

makes money

Makes money means takes money.

Friends: Hey Fundo, what do you do for a living?
Fundo: I makes money.
Friends: Why don't you get a job like everyone else?!

by authOOr June 26, 2006

playing detective

Asking too many questions about a person's life.

Asker: Wanna go to a party tomorrow?
Fundo: I already made plans with my lady.
Asker: What's her name? Where you going? What time? How long you been together?!
Fundo: What the hell!? Quit playing detective on me, or I'll kill ya'.

by authOOr June 30, 2006