Friend one: "I just got a call from my friend whose boyfriend 'forgot' to pick her up to take her to the airport on the Friday before Spring Break and didn't answer his phone when she called him to see where he was. She missed her flight, spent 6 hours waiting on stand-by to get another, and THEN her luggage got lost!"
Friend two: "What a total jackasstrophe!"
Friend one: "Totally. And he still hasn't called to apologize!"
A disease generally caused by a former significant other that the sufferer can't (legally or in some other way) remove from his/her life or remove him/herself from, that results in being unable to function normally in an emotional sense ever again.
Friend 1: You're so pretty and smart and you have a good job now, why don't you start dating again?
Friend 2: I made the mistake of sleeping with him and it seems to be my kid's father's goal to make me suffer for it for the rest of my life. Every day it's some new kind of hell, and I can't take my kid and leave because the court orders say we have to stay. I can't even THINK about dating anyone, I'm such a mess. I couldn't drag someone else into this.
Verb: Using rhinestones to decorate the butt area of one's pants, or other items of clothing, or even one's personal self (like being vagazzled, only on the backside private regions rather than the front).
Past tense: buttazzled
Present tense: buttazzling
Perjorative noun: (you) buttazzler
Upon viewing some waddling pedestrians: "If you have an ugly bottom please, do yourself a favor and don't accentuate it with a buttazzle kit."