Yopmail User's definitions

Your Child's Asscrack

If Joe Biden is even ten miles away from it, you're fucked.

Reporting live from Yopmail User News! A man and his child have committed suicide after Joe Biden ravaged the kid's asscrack! If you give a shit about your child's asscrack, don't let the Joepedo near it.

by Yopmail User November 6, 2022

Declare War on the North Pole Day

A day for naughty kids to arm themselves with Nerf guns, marking their futile declaration of war against Santa and the North Pole. Always occurs on December 26th.

Declare War on the North Pole Day 2022
Naughty kid 1: I-I-I saw it in F-Fortnite! I-if we enter through the front door we will kill the elves and s-s-seize the means of production!
Rest of the naughty kids: H-HEIL... C-C-COMMUNISM!! PRAISE STALIN AND FORTNITE!!
Santa Claus: *exits workshop* The fuck is this shit?
Naughty kids: FORTNITE BATTLE PASS PLZZZZ!!! FOLLOW MY TIKTO-
*Santa guns them all down with an AR-15*

by Yopmail User February 23, 2023

new years

To perform this sex act, you need to gather the vomit, shit, saliva, and cum/vaginal fluids of ten kindergarteners whose birthdays fall on January/September 1st, as well as your own. Pour them in a blender and let the mixture blend for thirty minutes. After it's finished, make a human centipede out of the kindergarteners with a staplegun, feed the mixture and some laxatives to the first kid, and quickly staple his anus to the last kid's mouth to finish the cycle of gurgling and shitting. It should be noted that the kids will try to break free, so it won't hurt to glue their limbs to the floor. After an hour, break the link between the first and last kid, give the first kid Diet Coke and Mentos up the ass, and quickly staple his ass to the last kid's mouth. Finish the act by beating off on each kid's face.

New Years is every politician's favorite sex act.

by Yopmail User January 8, 2023

Richard Nixon

This is when two or more males engage in mutual masturbation, then dock each other just before they ejaculate. The docking must last as long as it takes for the cum to harden on both of their dicks. After that, they must attempt to separate the heads of their dicks in the most painful ways possible.

I used to be a pariah like you until I Richard Nixoned 78 thirteen-year-old boys.

by Yopmail User April 12, 2023

Red Baron

To shit, piss, cum, and pour Diet Coke and Mentos down a girl's mouth and vagina while she is having her period. You must then rail her in her mouth and vagina, causing her to bleed. Ensure you have the whole thing on tape.

Having done the Red Baron, I realized that my penis was far too strong for this weak little girl. Her lips and vagina shot out blood and Diet Coke and she was out cold.

by Yopmail User August 23, 2022

Proper Grammar

Stuff you'll never find on this website. Basically every definition looks like a bunch of illiterate five-year-olds who just learned how to use the computer wrote them. Common mistakes include mistaking "your" for "you're" or vice versa, using "their," "there," and "they're," "loose" and "lose," or "who" and "whom" interchangeably, not knowing the difference between hyphens, en dashes and em dashes, problems with capitalization, run-on sentences, sentence fragments, lack of subject-verb agreement and/or punctuation, etc.

Proper grammar's extremely hard to come by these days.

by Yopmail User July 4, 2023

The Powerpuff Girls

1) A series of sexual acts involving shit, Diet Coke and Mentos, cum, saliva, vomit, or a combination of each. If done in the right order, these sex acts (mainly Blossom) can severely damage a girl's vagina. For obvious reasons, they must be done in this order: Blossom, Bubbles, and Buttercup.

2) Blossom, Bubbles, and Buttercup. Created by Professor Utonium after he accidentally added Chemical X to his mixture of "sugar, spice, and everything nice" while trying to make the "perfect little girl." See their names for more info regarding the sex acts mentioned above.

3) An animated children's television franchise centered around the girls mentioned above.

1) Guy 1: I did the Powerpuff Girls with my sister last night
Guy 2: how was it?
Guy 1: FUCKIN' INCREDIBLE!

2) And so, once again, the day is saved thanks to the Powerpuff Girls!

3) Remember when The Powerpuff Girls was good? Pepperidge Farm remembers!

by Yopmail User July 9, 2022