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lockdown beard

A phenomenon that occurred over the majority of 2020 where people have grown beards during their time in lockdown during the COVID-19 pandemic (either because they wanted to try a new look, couldn't be bothered to shave or a combination of the two).
"I haven't done much during the last few months, just grew a lockdown beard and that's about it.
by WatcherMark November 4, 2020
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The Naked Man

A high-risk seduction technique where, on a night out, a person gets themselves invited back to their date's home and quickly strips naked and waits for said date to re-enter in the hope that s/he will either be amused, aroused or sympathetic enough to agree to sleep with the person.

Obviously this technique can backfire spectacularly, and may end with a person being quickly ejected (probably sans clothing). It's suggested that The Naked Man only be used if the date is going badly and there's nothing to lose. Supposedly works two out of three times, but actual results may vary.
Jen: How did your date with Bill go?
Katie: Awful. The movie sucked, the meal was cold and afterwards he said he needed to come to mine for a water and when I left the room to fetch a glass he pulled the Naked Man on me!
Jen: Did you kick him out?
Katie: I should have, but he's not bad looking so I ended up taking him to bed. I mean, it's not like we'll ever see him again anyway.
by WatcherMark November 26, 2018
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Silent retreat

You've had a night out, you got drunk and went home with someone to their place. Sex was had and you went to sleep happy, satisfied and wasted.

You wake up the next day and suddenly realise what you did. Full of regret (for whatever reason), you then try to make a silent retreat so last night's partner doesn't notice you leaving and ask any awkward questions (like "can I call you?")
Henry: It felt so right at the time, me and Sarah had this huge argument, this girl was all over me and pretty soon we're back at her place.

Eddie: Oh geez...
Henry: Yeah. I wake up next morning to find myself next to this complete stranger lying asleep and text messages from Sarah telling me how sorry she is.
Eddie: What did you do?
Henry: Make a silent retreat. Last thing I needed was her asking me for my number.
by WatcherMark May 23, 2019
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Heart of the Cards

The idea that an inanimate object can someone provide you with exactly what you need at exactly the right time.

The term comes from the popular Japanese anime/toy advert Yu-Gi-Oh, which centres around a card game played by the titular hero. Often when playing, Yu-Gi-Oh will call on the Heart of the Cards to provide him with the precise card(s) he needs to win the game, which it somehow usually does.
Doug: (thinks during a poker game) I have three queens and a jack. If I believe in the Heart of the Cards, the deck will provide me with the jack I need.
(Doug pulls a two)
Doug: DAMMIT
by WatcherMark September 19, 2019
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yoko ono syndrome

Yoko Ono Symdrome is used to describe when someone chooses to hate and vilify another person for the crime of dating a celebrity they find attractive, regardless of the massive odds of that person ever getting together with said celebrity themselves. Typically occurs to fans of teenage boybands.

The term comes from the massive hate Yoko Ono received from female fans of the Beatles following her relationship and marriage to John Lennon.
"I'm worried about my daughter, she keeps writing blog posts about how she hates anyone dating Harry Styles because she wants him for herself. I think she has Yoko Ono Syndrome."
by WatcherMark August 2, 2016
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Gatekeeping

A word used to describe when someone sets a standard/limit on what someone must do to call themselves a 'true fan' of something/someone.
Joe: So what TV shows do you like?
Erin: Well, I'm a huge fan of Doctor Who. I also...
Joe: Doctor Who? I LOVE that show. When did you start watching.
Erin: Back in 2005 when the show was restarted.
Joe: Ah, you see, I was watching the classic series long before then. You can't really call yourself a true fan.

Erin: But I have a ton of the merchandise, and I've met David Tennant...
Joe: Oh, you're a fan definitely but not a proper fan. We've been there since long before the BBC revived the show.
Ted: Dude, stop gatekeeping the show. A fan is a fan. You don't need to set a standard.
by WatcherMark October 27, 2018
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Midnight snack

Used to describe a situation where someone will get out of bed in the middle of the night (despite the title, any time between bedtime and sunrise would be considered 'midnight' in this case) in order to have a quick bite to eat. This could be for any reason; the person may be hungry, or not tired, or just really craving a specific item of food. The snack is usually followed with the person immediately returning to bed.
Bill: You ok man?
Dave: Yeah, just couldn't get to sleep last night. I was really hungry for some reason.
Bill: What did you do?
Dave: Went downstairs, had a midnight snack and went back to bed. Felt better and got to sleep.
by WatcherMark May 23, 2019
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