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10 definitions by TESTICLETWISTER

 
1.
A male is receiving oral sex from a female. Without any explanation, the female begins grunting like an orc. She then, inexplicably, becomes briefly possessed by a horny demon that pulls on your cock with a force that can only be matched with a freight train while letting out a shriek that can be heard within a 20 mile radius. This rare and unfortunate occurrence has been known to permanently bend dicks into a 90 degree angle.
Joe: Last night Bonnie was fucking possessed..

Jack: How so?
Joe: I don't know! She was shrieking and pulling on my dick harder than a freight train!
Jack: Sounds like she's a Demonic Cock Strangler.
by TESTICLETWISTER January 03, 2012
 
2.
A sexual feat that requires the aid of a trustworthy pilot, oil, feathers, and a horny countrymen with nothing better to do. A male covers himself in oil, then proceeds to roll around in a pile of feathers. If done correctly, he'll almost appear to be a bird. The male then straps himself into a World War 1 open cockpit bi-plane. At exactly 9,865 feet, the male jumps out of the plane, without a parachute, plummeting towards the ground at terminal velocity. During this time the male becomes aroused, then makes his penis perpendicular to the ground, and then finally flaps his arms imitating a bird like motion before smashing "dick first" into the ground. This feat was first done by the famous Oklahoma resident Harry Sack in 1948 thus, giving the feat the name "1948 Oklahoma Pile Driver". This same feat can be done to a woman however, you would also need to hire a skillful mathematician in order to figure out the exact timing to jump from the aircraft.
Joe: Dude i would totally have sex with Sally
Colin: I wouldn't have sex with her, i'd give her a 1948 Oklahoma Pile Driver!
by TESTICLETWISTER August 08, 2013
 
3.
A sexual feat that requires much agility. A female is bent over a hard flat surface that comes up to about her waist line. She then turns around and gives a male partner, who is standing exactly 21 feet away, a smile and a wink. The male then pounds on his chest like a silver back gorilla, transitions into a full out sprint before leaping into the air, making his body parallel to the floor, doing a 360 degree spin and slamming his throbbing cock into his female partner. First done by horny Babylonians, present day Iraq, that believed this sort of "sexual ritual" would bare the woman with a boy due to the force exerted on the testicles when they slammed into the females lower abdominal. Present day the feat is purely done for bragging rights.
Colin: Dude, what was going on in your room last night? It sounded like a zoo in there.
Tim: Sorry man, I gave Morgan a Babylonian 360 Testicle Slam.
Colin: Damn! Brita won't even let me do that!
by TESTICLETWISTER May 15, 2014
 
4.
A sexual act that involves a male and a female. The woman is positioned with her back on the floor and raises her hips and legs in the air so her vagina is parallel with the ceiling. The male then lets out a loud shriek before rushing over to the woman and inserts his penis into her vagina. He then vigorously, and simultaneously, pounds on her vagina like a pair of congo drums. This was first done by horny tribesmen in Swahili centuries ago. However, it was perfected by the Mayans.
Joe: I was feeling kind if diverse last night with Bonnie.

Bob: Ahhhh she gave you the old Swahili Squat Fuck.
by TESTICLETWISTER December 22, 2013
 
5.
A feat that requires the participant to have a pair of testicles, believe in evil spirits, and also has struck a deal with the devil prior to the feat being committed. The participant closes their eyes and concentrates intensely. A layer of unstable clouds with thunderstorm activity rolls in from a magnetic heading of 180 degrees. The participant opens his eyes, which are now completely white, pulls down their pants, twirls there testicles in a counter clockwise motion while jumping up and down like a crazed monkey before finally red smoke shields there physical body and they vanish into a demonic realm. Usually done if the participant is in distress. Unfortunately, there are no documented sightings of this act being committed. However, rumor has it that it was done by the boy in the real Haunting In Connecticut.
Teacher: Billy, what's the answer to question 3?
*Thunderstorm clouds roll in from the south*
Billy: See you in hell! *Pulls down pants and twirls his testicles, then vanishes behind a layer of red smoke*
Teacher: Jesus Christ! Did i just witness a Vanishing Testicle Flailing Demoniac
by TESTICLETWISTER May 20, 2014
 
6.
A sexual feat that requires a tree with strong vines, and a will for looking for a last resort to spice up a sex life. A male climbs a tree that stands at least 63 feet tall. A female then aligns herself on a direct path from the male. The male lets out a yell like Tarzan ("Ooo-wa-ooo-aaooaaooaa-ooo!") before grabbing a nearby vine. The male then jumps from the tree, with a grin on his face, swings down towards the ground, spreads his legs out as far as he can, and slams into the females ass. This feat was first done by tribesmen on unsuspecting women deep within the jungles of the Congo. Similar feats have been accomplished in the U.S however, a rope will have to supplement the vine.
Billy: Hey man i just got back from the Congo!
Ron: What the hell were you doing over there?
Billy: I was giving Sally a Tarzan Swinging Ass Slam.
by TESTICLETWISTER June 02, 2014
 
7.
An occurrence that is most common among males that has occurred the most often at Daytona Beach, Florida. A male is lying on his back taking in some sun. Suddenly, a swarm of pelicans begin circling him from above. Without any explanation, a pelican makes a sharp turn down towards the male, opens its mouth and aggressively slams beak first into the males cock. Ornithologists (bird experts) still haven't found a valid explanation for this occurrence other than the birds may mistake the male for a mate. Luckily, there is penis and testicle hospital within walking distance of the beach.
John: What a beautiful day at the beach.
*Flock of pelicans swarm him*
John: What the hell?
*Random pelican dives down from group*
John: My cock!!!!

*John goes to hospital*
Doctor: Looks like you experienced the Daytona Penis Plunge.
by TESTICLETWISTER May 29, 2014