5 definitions by Someone who misses their balls
A standard blumpkin followed by a rimjob. That's as much description as I'm offering; I'll leave it for you to do the math.
Asshole #1: Man, that marginally pretty hyper slut, Sally--you know the one who doesn't quite fit in and has all those horrible daddy and self esteem issues--well, anyway, she's so fucking messed up in the skull that I actually talked the stupid whore into giving me a FULL SERVICE BLUMPKIN about an hour ago!!!
Asshole #... other asshole: Was she drunk?
Asshole #1: Nope.
Other asshole: Did you get her to sign a consent form?
Asshole #1: Well, duh, moron--I mean I'm not some Neanderthal, troglodyte, rapist monster who goes around preying on vulnerable women, or anything.
Other Asshole: Well, sweet then. High five!
Asshole #... other asshole: Was she drunk?
Asshole #1: Nope.
Other asshole: Did you get her to sign a consent form?
Asshole #1: Well, duh, moron--I mean I'm not some Neanderthal, troglodyte, rapist monster who goes around preying on vulnerable women, or anything.
Other Asshole: Well, sweet then. High five!
by Someone who misses their balls December 1, 2015
Performing the Cunnilingual arts with such a profound skill and vigor as to cause a woman to gyrate her hips uncontrollably, inevitably thrusting them upwards with orgasmic energy enough to knock the absolute fuck out of your greasy mug and send it flying back, potentially injuring both parties.
-Dude, what happened to your front teeth!?
- Man, I wath eating Sthathy's box out and that evil little bath'dard in the pink canoe reared up and thucker punched the thhid out'a me!
- Dude, you totally got canoe slapped!! Nice!
-Fuck you, I'm gay now...want a blowjob?
-Fine, but no teeth.
- Man, I wath eating Sthathy's box out and that evil little bath'dard in the pink canoe reared up and thucker punched the thhid out'a me!
- Dude, you totally got canoe slapped!! Nice!
-Fuck you, I'm gay now...want a blowjob?
-Fine, but no teeth.
by Someone who misses their balls September 16, 2015
swinging like a boss while keeping it tight and hitting for the quick money, long and short, to pocket up high and in the rear.
The Randy Phinney: Man, I pulled the ol' Randy Phinney off last week on a tip for a quick in and out hat trick turn around, then I went out and banged a few strippers on boat. Now I'm broke with Herpes.
by Someone who misses their balls September 16, 2015
by Someone who misses their balls February 10, 2021
Police officer 1: Excuse me, ma'am, I'm going to need you to wrap this towel around your waste and come with us.
Random THOT: What!, because of my thong!? this is bullshit! Why aren't you harassing any of these other girls!?
Police officer 2: Sorry, ma'am, this beach has a strict 'passes the cheeseburger test' only policy for thongs.
Police officer 1: Here, ma'am (hands her a cheeseburger) I'm going to have to ask you to eat this. It's the law.
Random THOT: What!, because of my thong!? this is bullshit! Why aren't you harassing any of these other girls!?
Police officer 2: Sorry, ma'am, this beach has a strict 'passes the cheeseburger test' only policy for thongs.
Police officer 1: Here, ma'am (hands her a cheeseburger) I'm going to have to ask you to eat this. It's the law.
by Someone who misses their balls September 7, 2020