Smart American Male's definitions

graham cracker

An old person who tries to act cool.

Kid: Hey! Get a load of the graham cracker! Ahaha!
Man: Is that a geezer on a skateboard?!
Old Man: LOOGAME! WHEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Kid & Man together: A 360 Varial McTwist?!

by Smart American Male October 18, 2006

Roger Clemens

Now a 45 year old attention whore, Clemens was once a great baseball player who has played for the Toronto Blue Jays, the Houston Astros, and the New York Yankees. As he got older he's become a roid freak to win back his long time boyfriend Brian McNamee. But it costed him his respect and fame.

Roger Clemens is too old. But he just won't give up.

by Smart American Male June 2, 2008

numnah

1. a felt of sheepskin pad placed between a horse's back and the saddle to prevent chafing
2. a word used in the 2008 Spelling Bee which was confused with "numnut".

Announcer: "Numnah"
Speller: "Numnut?"... Oh! "Numnah"!

by Smart American Male June 3, 2008

game under

1. A point in time where a game gets too brutal/stalemated/at full potentials/etc that it's to be played just out of the appropriate playing area

2. The opposite of "game over".

This game's far from over! It's game under!

by Smart American Male May 3, 2006

Sportscenter

A daily block of mini sports soap operas packed into one hour. Programs listed in order and the length of the episodes vary:

Yankee Country
Manny Knows Best
The Favre Saga
The Misadventures of T.O.
Lebrontourage
The Red Sox Chronicles (or sometimes a rerun of Yankee Country)

repeat the cycle until 2PM EST.

And check this, they leave women doing the morning shift.

ESPN anchor: And still to come, we take a trip to Ben Roethlisberger's natural habitat at the Pittsburgh Zoo. Later, a rapper comes on stage! What the fuck does this have to do with sports? Who knows?! Don't tell us how to do our business, bitch! It's nawmally good!
Viewer: Man, even Sportscenter could use an offseason.

by Smart American Male April 29, 2009

Hayden Panettiere

A goddess of the creatures of the sea with an outgoing and friendly personality. She takes the form of an extremely attractive human who happens to be one of America's most successful movie actresses. She was a cheerleader during her years in school and has acted in many roles of cheerleaders in movies, but her most notable role is Claire Bennet from Heroes, where one of her unnecessary powers, regeneration, is put to use. The reason she has chosen the form of an attractive human is to draw the attention to build support to help keep alive her two groups of cohorts called the "Whales" and the "Dolphins", whether it's acting out as the spokesman for the Whaleman Foundation, making bold attempts to save fellow comrades from getting slaughtered personally, known as "Saving The World", or reaching out to her fans via the internet. Hayden is also a singer/songwriter, and her human boyfriend is Milo Ventimiglia, who also plays a character on Heroes.

Girl: My report is on Hayden Panettiere.
Boy: Who the hell's that?
Girl: Oh, she's an actress known as the "Cheerleader who wants to Save the World."
Boy: Pfft. Cheerleaders? Boring. Why not do one on Britney Spears?
Girl: ...Are you kidding me?! God I bet is laughing at you right now.

by Smart American Male June 3, 2008

Miley Cyrus

1The Chosen One. As in the one chosen to tarnish the entire country with her success.
2The Bomb. By the bomb, I mean her music is shipped to enemy forces overseas, then terrorists listen to it and kill themselves.
3Hannah Montana. Clearly the most awful program in entertainment. It's even banned from countries with people who have sensitive hearing. So fake that is makes the Final Fantasy series look nonfictional.
4 A no talent attention whore who doesn't have friends and only acts for money and attention. Also if you're over 15 and enjoy her music or shows-- wow! That's like 5 million of you! Hohohoh...

God: *holding baby Miley* Billy Ray. I bestow upon you little baby Miley Cyrus. I present to you a queen and future ruler of entertainment. The chosen one! *drops baby Miley on her head* ...Oopsie...

by Smart American Male January 18, 2009