Sir Bartholomew McTavish's definitions
Euphemism: Meaning 'erect penis'
To have a somewhat larger than usual 'semen submersible'
The thing which stands out the most during puberty,
Similar to the Statue of Liberty unveiled on October 28th 1886, except a regular penis does not come with torch, face, stola or sandals. (Usually.)
To have a somewhat larger than usual 'semen submersible'
The thing which stands out the most during puberty,
Similar to the Statue of Liberty unveiled on October 28th 1886, except a regular penis does not come with torch, face, stola or sandals. (Usually.)
Other euphemisms like 'Statue of Puberty' include...
Morning Glory
Bishop's Crosier
Hugh Jwang
Stomp On
Stiffey
A Barred Dock
Morning Glory
Bishop's Crosier
Hugh Jwang
Stomp On
Stiffey
A Barred Dock
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish October 9, 2009
Get the Statue of Puberty mug.Some drunken idiot who thinks he's a superhero and tries to wrestle the dustbins outside his own house.
A true 'Fissedasapartman' is identified as a man who loses the fight to his bins and or wakes up next to his bins,
covered in catshit and in the nip with a banana wedged in his butt cheeks. (Put there by kind-meaning neighbours.)
A true 'Fissedasapartman' is identified as a man who loses the fight to his bins and or wakes up next to his bins,
covered in catshit and in the nip with a banana wedged in his butt cheeks. (Put there by kind-meaning neighbours.)
1)A Fissedasapartman is any male/semi-male from any city / town / hovel North,South,East or West, out on the town around four in the morning to be found trying to chat up a cigarette machine and pulling said device.
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish January 1, 2008
Get the Fissedasapartman mug.1:)An idiot. A boob,but who happens to be a fan of the Spongebob Squarepants show.
2:)The perfect breast. Not too big, not too small, not enhanced, glistening slightly with rivulets of water clinging to the surface and nipple. Sponge-like but brilliant. Like a mix betwixt Milla Jovovich's (Pre Preg) and those of Katy Perry.
2:)The perfect breast. Not too big, not too small, not enhanced, glistening slightly with rivulets of water clinging to the surface and nipple. Sponge-like but brilliant. Like a mix betwixt Milla Jovovich's (Pre Preg) and those of Katy Perry.
Bernard: Yo, Mike, you see Spongeboob?
Mike: What? The cartoon?
Bernard: No, the hottie over there, working in that garage on that Subaru.
Mike: What? Where?
Bernard: The one over there cranking that jack now.
Mike: Where man?
Bernard: Fucking THERE! The one whose just spilled all that fucking Castrol GTX on her overalls. Look, she's the one taking off her over...alls.
Mike: We looking at the same garage?
Bernard: Hmm? She's rubbing it off.
Mike: Ooooh, the girl in the RED cap! I see her now. Hey, that's not Cas...trol...thats...Wigwam..qual...this is sweet. (They high-ten, chest bounce then return to perving.)
Mike: What? The cartoon?
Bernard: No, the hottie over there, working in that garage on that Subaru.
Mike: What? Where?
Bernard: The one over there cranking that jack now.
Mike: Where man?
Bernard: Fucking THERE! The one whose just spilled all that fucking Castrol GTX on her overalls. Look, she's the one taking off her over...alls.
Mike: We looking at the same garage?
Bernard: Hmm? She's rubbing it off.
Mike: Ooooh, the girl in the RED cap! I see her now. Hey, that's not Cas...trol...thats...Wigwam..qual...this is sweet. (They high-ten, chest bounce then return to perving.)
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish January 1, 2009
Get the spongeboob mug.A 'shit22' is similar to a catch22 situation but in which things are far far worse than anyone could imagine.
In essence, a predicament that you would never, ever wish to find yourself in but people like Paul McCartney, John Leslie, Angus Deaton, Gordon Ramsey and Prince Harry keep finding themselves in.
When your wife says she's leaving you halfway through giving her a damn good seeing to and actually thinking of her.
An 'Oh my shitting christ!' moment.
In essence, a predicament that you would never, ever wish to find yourself in but people like Paul McCartney, John Leslie, Angus Deaton, Gordon Ramsey and Prince Harry keep finding themselves in.
When your wife says she's leaving you halfway through giving her a damn good seeing to and actually thinking of her.
An 'Oh my shitting christ!' moment.
1:) The feeling the dinosaurs had when they saw their friends being vaporised by a shock wave.
2:) When Ginny tells Harry Potter that she's up the duff
3:) Mallory & Irvine's joint feeling at having realised they had forgotten to climb back down.
4:) When Britney realises she's running after K-Fed's car in the nude with half an ounce of coke on her face...a 'shit22'
5:) When Kerry Katona was shown a tape of herself giving herself a Gynaecological examination after coming out of the bath.
2:) When Ginny tells Harry Potter that she's up the duff
3:) Mallory & Irvine's joint feeling at having realised they had forgotten to climb back down.
4:) When Britney realises she's running after K-Fed's car in the nude with half an ounce of coke on her face...a 'shit22'
5:) When Kerry Katona was shown a tape of herself giving herself a Gynaecological examination after coming out of the bath.
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish November 25, 2007
Get the shit22 mug.Any person, male or female, in a film, book, game, stageplay etc that is acting in a pretentious, less than eroic manner, who ruins completely an otherwise good story.
Examples of a captain jirk are...
David from Shaun of the Dead
The Dolmen from Star Trek TOS Episode 'Elaan of Troyus'
Cypher from The Matrix
The Dursley's from Harry Potter series of books and films
Caligula from real life history and the film 'The Robe'
Brad from Superman 3
Belloq from Raiders of the Lost Ark
Etc.
David from Shaun of the Dead
The Dolmen from Star Trek TOS Episode 'Elaan of Troyus'
Cypher from The Matrix
The Dursley's from Harry Potter series of books and films
Caligula from real life history and the film 'The Robe'
Brad from Superman 3
Belloq from Raiders of the Lost Ark
Etc.
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish August 23, 2009
Get the captain jirk mug.facecool is what happens when you try to type out Facebook in a text message with T9 predictive-fucking-text on.
DAVID: Whoah, Rebecca, Victoria's on to us, somebody just text me saying that Victoria's figured out how to use a computer and has just spotted our facecool page.
REBECCA: What the fuck is facecool?
DAVID: I don't know, it's in this text. Can we go to Disney Land Rebecca, you promised.
REBECCA: What the fuck is facecool?
DAVID: I don't know, it's in this text. Can we go to Disney Land Rebecca, you promised.
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish January 5, 2009
Get the facecool mug.A well baked collection of turds which emantes from the anus between six and twelve hours after comestible consumption.
Exactly the same as 'Ass Gravy', 'Balloon-Knot Chutney' and 'Ass Hole Jam' but spelt completely differently.
Exactly the same as 'Ass Gravy', 'Balloon-Knot Chutney' and 'Ass Hole Jam' but spelt completely differently.
1:) He saw Shannon Matthews Mum and made trouser cake.
2:) Pornstars never ever have it.
3:) Bradley Pitt's acting abilities.
4:) Britney's career after she went fuck crazy
5:) The average Wii Sports Golf Score
2:) Pornstars never ever have it.
3:) Bradley Pitt's acting abilities.
4:) Britney's career after she went fuck crazy
5:) The average Wii Sports Golf Score
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish April 16, 2008
Get the trouser cake mug.