Sir Bartholomew McTavish's definitions
1. Misspelt other word for swaddling material wrapped firmly around an infant,baby or politician to ensure warmth & love.
2. Blankets that have to bolted firmly around a woman while having intercourse in the dark, 'incase God sees her naked' is the usual excuse, but she quite okay with being starkers on her own in her backgarden/playground/webcast.
(Possibly a woman who is a barren lesbian, farmhand.)
2. Blankets that have to bolted firmly around a woman while having intercourse in the dark, 'incase God sees her naked' is the usual excuse, but she quite okay with being starkers on her own in her backgarden/playground/webcast.
(Possibly a woman who is a barren lesbian, farmhand.)
MAN: Darling I know we've only known eachother fifteen years and are having a healthy, normal,if awfully infrequent, sexual relationship with one another but would it be ok if we could, perhaps, have sexual relations on top of the funting tonight as I've never so much as seen one of your nipples! The closest is that drawing, that I drew, ten years ago.
WOMAN: (Uninteligable gibberish to the effect of 'No,sex is all you ever think about, you lazy,unshaven,quite wellhung, perverted,disgusting, patriarchal, misogynistic bastard. Give me more female orgasms while I laugh at your penis & talk to my friends about how it only gets wet once a week.' etcetera usual guff,excuses & insults.)
WOMAN: (Uninteligable gibberish to the effect of 'No,sex is all you ever think about, you lazy,unshaven,quite wellhung, perverted,disgusting, patriarchal, misogynistic bastard. Give me more female orgasms while I laugh at your penis & talk to my friends about how it only gets wet once a week.' etcetera usual guff,excuses & insults.)
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish January 1, 2008
Get the Funting mug.The act of baptising a girlfriend, wife, fuck buddy (daughter's?) breast or "baps" region with god's sticky nectar.
PATRICK:I say, did you hear that Tom Baker and Lalla Ward were married in the early 1980s?
SPONGEBOB: No. Bet she got a few bapjizm s off that ex monk ex Time Lord kick ass old dude, who's still on Little Britain.
PATRICK: Sphincter.
SPONGEBOB: No. Bet she got a few bapjizm s off that ex monk ex Time Lord kick ass old dude, who's still on Little Britain.
PATRICK: Sphincter.
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish July 25, 2009
Get the bapjizm mug.Some drunken idiot who thinks he's a superhero and tries to wrestle the dustbins outside his own house.
A true 'Fissedasapartman' is identified as a man who loses the fight to his bins and or wakes up next to his bins,
covered in catshit and in the nip with a banana wedged in his butt cheeks. (Put there by kind-meaning neighbours.)
A true 'Fissedasapartman' is identified as a man who loses the fight to his bins and or wakes up next to his bins,
covered in catshit and in the nip with a banana wedged in his butt cheeks. (Put there by kind-meaning neighbours.)
1)A Fissedasapartman is any male/semi-male from any city / town / hovel North,South,East or West, out on the town around four in the morning to be found trying to chat up a cigarette machine and pulling said device.
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish January 1, 2008
Get the Fissedasapartman mug.Euphemism: Meaning 'erect penis'
To have a somewhat larger than usual 'semen submersible'
The thing which stands out the most during puberty,
Similar to the Statue of Liberty unveiled on October 28th 1886, except a regular penis does not come with torch, face, stola or sandals. (Usually.)
To have a somewhat larger than usual 'semen submersible'
The thing which stands out the most during puberty,
Similar to the Statue of Liberty unveiled on October 28th 1886, except a regular penis does not come with torch, face, stola or sandals. (Usually.)
Other euphemisms like 'Statue of Puberty' include...
Morning Glory
Bishop's Crosier
Hugh Jwang
Stomp On
Stiffey
A Barred Dock
Morning Glory
Bishop's Crosier
Hugh Jwang
Stomp On
Stiffey
A Barred Dock
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish October 9, 2009
Get the Statue of Puberty mug.To put your dick to the telephone speaker when talking to a ladyfriend when she is boring the arse off you about babies or flowers or something else that's all girlyfied.
Dicktaphone is when on the phone to Ann Coulter and she's banging on about politics or crap etc. and you realise you're her husband as your cock falls out of your pants into the reciever.
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish August 12, 2008
Get the Dicktaphone mug.Simple congregruity of 'tri', meaning third and nipple. The correct adjective for a third nipple. Can be pronounced 'try-nipple' but 'trin-ipple' sounds funnier.
Ozzie: Hey, did you see Lily Allen whip out her trinipple?
Keith: No,
Ozzie: Yeah, it was almost down her stomach
Keith: What, like a dogs?
Ozzie: Yeah.
Keith: Does that mean she's part canine?
Ozzie: Hell yeah.
Keith: I'd wouldn't say no to fucking that.
Ozzie: But she wouldn't say yes to you. Dogs still have class. And you're her Dad
Keith: Oh, yeah, still would though. (They high-five eachother.)
Ozzie: (Under his breath) Prink.
Keith: No,
Ozzie: Yeah, it was almost down her stomach
Keith: What, like a dogs?
Ozzie: Yeah.
Keith: Does that mean she's part canine?
Ozzie: Hell yeah.
Keith: I'd wouldn't say no to fucking that.
Ozzie: But she wouldn't say yes to you. Dogs still have class. And you're her Dad
Keith: Oh, yeah, still would though. (They high-five eachother.)
Ozzie: (Under his breath) Prink.
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish October 19, 2008
Get the trinipple mug.Someone who,no matter how good they are at Resident Evil 4 or Super Paper Mario, looks like a complete idiot to other people watching them play.A Wiidiot is someone who spends about £60 a week on games and 10 hours a day prancing around infront of the TV shooting or blowing things up and looking like a retard.
Son:Mum, where's Dad? I haven't seen him for hours.
Mother: Oh, he's upstairs on your Wii again looking like a total Wiidiot.
Son: Oh. He's a knob, isn't he?
Mother:Yes.
Mother: Oh, he's upstairs on your Wii again looking like a total Wiidiot.
Son: Oh. He's a knob, isn't he?
Mother:Yes.
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish November 28, 2007
Get the wiidiot mug.