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Sir Bartholomew McTavish's definitions

trinipple

Simple congregruity of 'tri', meaning third and nipple. The correct adjective for a third nipple. Can be pronounced 'try-nipple' but 'trin-ipple' sounds funnier.
Ozzie: Hey, did you see Lily Allen whip out her trinipple?

Keith: No,

Ozzie: Yeah, it was almost down her stomach

Keith: What, like a dogs?

Ozzie: Yeah.

Keith: Does that mean she's part canine?

Ozzie: Hell yeah.

Keith: I'd wouldn't say no to fucking that.

Ozzie: But she wouldn't say yes to you. Dogs still have class. And you're her Dad

Keith: Oh, yeah, still would though. (They high-five eachother.)

Ozzie: (Under his breath) Prink.
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish October 19, 2008
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spunk tackle

The tackle you spunk with. Testicles and Penis. Cock and Balls. Twig and Gigggle Berries. Meat and Two Veg. Strawberry Shaft and Vanilla Scoops. Testicle (Pronounced testiclay) & Poking Rod...etc...
PETER: Andy, what's the matter?
ANDY: My wife kicked me in me spunk tackle.
PETER: Dannielle? Whatever for?
ANDY: Coz I said she was a stupid fat fucking minge muncher who was worse in bed that her comatose Mother.

(Brief moment of silence then a hefty High-Five.)
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish December 16, 2008
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boil foiled

when a lady's or gentleman's underpant region become increasingly bothered, horny, moist, or brought to the boil a situation comes up which negates or foils the sensation.

A hard on boil that becomes foiled.
1: Watching late night TV for a bit of self loving when a picture of Karen Matthews, Cilla Black or Jade Goody comes on and your 'rock' becomes a 'flop'

2: When a lady is watching late night TV in the hopes that a bit of twisted gaymensex comes on and instead find nothing but Karen Matthews, Cilla Black and Jade Goody lezzing out.

3: Wanking over Britney when you realise you're her Dad.Boil Foiled.
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish April 11, 2008
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fuckmas

What Disney and all other "child" orientated businesses are doing to us at Christmas. Wishing us a 'Merry Fuckmas, you've just paid us £40 for a piece of shit, you stupid fucking moron. You keep this economy going and you buy our crap?'
At Eurodisney
DAD: Go say hi to Mickey son,
SON: Okay Dad. Hiya Mickey, we thought you were great in Steamboat Willy
MICKEY MOUSE COSTUME MAN:Fuck you kid, give me your watch, cash and toys. (punches kid in face and signs Dad's car in own feaces.) Merry Fuckmas assholes.
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish December 29, 2008
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Asstrix

The 1960s French comic that you DIDN'T hear about.
'Asstrix' is the story of a Gaulish pornstar that shagged her way through every Roman Legion that Rome sent her way.
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish August 19, 2009
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gayllifrey

Planet of origin of the Gay Lords. They are the Lods of all things Gay and apparently inhabit the entire revived TV series of Doctor Who.
Saturdays BBC1, 6:45pm. You'll see a lot of Gayllifrey.
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish April 23, 2008
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trouser cake

A well baked collection of turds which emantes from the anus between six and twelve hours after comestible consumption.
Exactly the same as 'Ass Gravy', 'Balloon-Knot Chutney' and 'Ass Hole Jam' but spelt completely differently.
1:) He saw Shannon Matthews Mum and made trouser cake.
2:) Pornstars never ever have it.
3:) Bradley Pitt's acting abilities.
4:) Britney's career after she went fuck crazy
5:) The average Wii Sports Golf Score
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish April 16, 2008
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