Sir Bartholomew McTavish's definitions
to fit an non specified amount of Call of Cthulhu Dice into one's foreskin.
Towhit, bringing a fully loaded pink dicebag to a D & D session.
Towhit, bringing a fully loaded pink dicebag to a D & D session.
Katherine: Hey, Jimmy?
Jimmy: Yeah?
Katherine: I couldn't help but notice that you have placed seven multifaceted number shapes into your foreskin. Explain.
Jimmy:Well you women have got Velvet Goldmines and us men have dicebags. This is mine. Revel in my splendor,bitch.
Katherine: Twat. (Walks away to go spend his money online.)
Jimmy: Yeah?
Katherine: I couldn't help but notice that you have placed seven multifaceted number shapes into your foreskin. Explain.
Jimmy:Well you women have got Velvet Goldmines and us men have dicebags. This is mine. Revel in my splendor,bitch.
Katherine: Twat. (Walks away to go spend his money online.)
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish May 29, 2008
Get the dicebag mug.Any person, male or female, in a film, book, game, stageplay etc that is acting in a pretentious, less than eroic manner, who ruins completely an otherwise good story.
Examples of a captain jirk are...
David from Shaun of the Dead
The Dolmen from Star Trek TOS Episode 'Elaan of Troyus'
Cypher from The Matrix
The Dursley's from Harry Potter series of books and films
Caligula from real life history and the film 'The Robe'
Brad from Superman 3
Belloq from Raiders of the Lost Ark
Etc.
David from Shaun of the Dead
The Dolmen from Star Trek TOS Episode 'Elaan of Troyus'
Cypher from The Matrix
The Dursley's from Harry Potter series of books and films
Caligula from real life history and the film 'The Robe'
Brad from Superman 3
Belloq from Raiders of the Lost Ark
Etc.
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish August 23, 2009
Get the captain jirk mug.The act of baptising a girlfriend, wife, fuck buddy (daughter's?) breast or "baps" region with god's sticky nectar.
PATRICK:I say, did you hear that Tom Baker and Lalla Ward were married in the early 1980s?
SPONGEBOB: No. Bet she got a few bapjizm s off that ex monk ex Time Lord kick ass old dude, who's still on Little Britain.
PATRICK: Sphincter.
SPONGEBOB: No. Bet she got a few bapjizm s off that ex monk ex Time Lord kick ass old dude, who's still on Little Britain.
PATRICK: Sphincter.
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish July 25, 2009
Get the bapjizm mug.A well baked collection of turds which emantes from the anus between six and twelve hours after comestible consumption.
Exactly the same as 'Ass Gravy', 'Balloon-Knot Chutney' and 'Ass Hole Jam' but spelt completely differently.
Exactly the same as 'Ass Gravy', 'Balloon-Knot Chutney' and 'Ass Hole Jam' but spelt completely differently.
1:) He saw Shannon Matthews Mum and made trouser cake.
2:) Pornstars never ever have it.
3:) Bradley Pitt's acting abilities.
4:) Britney's career after she went fuck crazy
5:) The average Wii Sports Golf Score
2:) Pornstars never ever have it.
3:) Bradley Pitt's acting abilities.
4:) Britney's career after she went fuck crazy
5:) The average Wii Sports Golf Score
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish April 16, 2008
Get the trouser cake mug.1:)An idiot. A boob,but who happens to be a fan of the Spongebob Squarepants show.
2:)The perfect breast. Not too big, not too small, not enhanced, glistening slightly with rivulets of water clinging to the surface and nipple. Sponge-like but brilliant. Like a mix betwixt Milla Jovovich's (Pre Preg) and those of Katy Perry.
2:)The perfect breast. Not too big, not too small, not enhanced, glistening slightly with rivulets of water clinging to the surface and nipple. Sponge-like but brilliant. Like a mix betwixt Milla Jovovich's (Pre Preg) and those of Katy Perry.
Bernard: Yo, Mike, you see Spongeboob?
Mike: What? The cartoon?
Bernard: No, the hottie over there, working in that garage on that Subaru.
Mike: What? Where?
Bernard: The one over there cranking that jack now.
Mike: Where man?
Bernard: Fucking THERE! The one whose just spilled all that fucking Castrol GTX on her overalls. Look, she's the one taking off her over...alls.
Mike: We looking at the same garage?
Bernard: Hmm? She's rubbing it off.
Mike: Ooooh, the girl in the RED cap! I see her now. Hey, that's not Cas...trol...thats...Wigwam..qual...this is sweet. (They high-ten, chest bounce then return to perving.)
Mike: What? The cartoon?
Bernard: No, the hottie over there, working in that garage on that Subaru.
Mike: What? Where?
Bernard: The one over there cranking that jack now.
Mike: Where man?
Bernard: Fucking THERE! The one whose just spilled all that fucking Castrol GTX on her overalls. Look, she's the one taking off her over...alls.
Mike: We looking at the same garage?
Bernard: Hmm? She's rubbing it off.
Mike: Ooooh, the girl in the RED cap! I see her now. Hey, that's not Cas...trol...thats...Wigwam..qual...this is sweet. (They high-ten, chest bounce then return to perving.)
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish January 1, 2009
Get the spongeboob mug.Someone who,no matter how good they are at Resident Evil 4 or Super Paper Mario, looks like a complete idiot to other people watching them play.A Wiidiot is someone who spends about £60 a week on games and 10 hours a day prancing around infront of the TV shooting or blowing things up and looking like a retard.
Son:Mum, where's Dad? I haven't seen him for hours.
Mother: Oh, he's upstairs on your Wii again looking like a total Wiidiot.
Son: Oh. He's a knob, isn't he?
Mother:Yes.
Mother: Oh, he's upstairs on your Wii again looking like a total Wiidiot.
Son: Oh. He's a knob, isn't he?
Mother:Yes.
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish November 28, 2007
Get the wiidiot mug.Euphemism: Meaning 'erect penis'
To have a somewhat larger than usual 'semen submersible'
The thing which stands out the most during puberty,
Similar to the Statue of Liberty unveiled on October 28th 1886, except a regular penis does not come with torch, face, stola or sandals. (Usually.)
To have a somewhat larger than usual 'semen submersible'
The thing which stands out the most during puberty,
Similar to the Statue of Liberty unveiled on October 28th 1886, except a regular penis does not come with torch, face, stola or sandals. (Usually.)
Other euphemisms like 'Statue of Puberty' include...
Morning Glory
Bishop's Crosier
Hugh Jwang
Stomp On
Stiffey
A Barred Dock
Morning Glory
Bishop's Crosier
Hugh Jwang
Stomp On
Stiffey
A Barred Dock
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish October 9, 2009
Get the Statue of Puberty mug.