Sir Bartholomew McTavish's definitions

mingsane

The exact word to describe the level of non sanity of Ming the Merciless from the Flash Gordon universe.

Why any hero would be named after an all purpose cleaner is beyond me.

After Ming was impaled on Flash's ship in the 1980s movie of the same name, as Flash.

Dale: You just impaled him with that spaceship!

Flash: Yeah, I know. I kick ass don't I?

Dale: That Ming was mad.

Flash: Yeah, you could say he was 'Mingsane'

Dale: Oh Flash, you're so funny.

Flash: I know. Shall we make out and laugh at Brian Blessed's pants?

Dale: Oh yes please, then I'd like to recieve your seed, on top of that spiky spinning platform thing where that dude's eyes popped out.

Flash: Yeah. I'm great aren't I? I play football.

by Sir Bartholomew McTavish February 17, 2009

Weird Al Spankovich

Euphemistic. Same as 'Shake Hands with Tommy Tank' or 'Making Love to Madame Palm and Her Five Lovely Daughters' or even 'I'm Going to do a Barclays'

SON: Don't come in Mum, I'm trying to meet Weird Al Spankovich.

MUM: Are you fucking wanking in that bathroom again?

SON: Maybe. (Ughhhhhgggh.)

MUM: Well hurry the fuck up, I need to shit as well and your Dad's downstairs fucking your sister in the other toilet.

SON: What?

MUM: What?

by Sir Bartholomew McTavish February 17, 2009

Brittlebitch

A disease (or Poorme condition) that stuck up rich bitches get. They are usually a friend but never fancy you, who is always falling down,getting into fights, crashing her car, breaking bones to get attention because her life is so boring being married to the richest, limpcocked bastard she could find, or having great parents who give her everything.

1) Paris.
2) Nicole.
3) Kathy.
4) Pink sang a song about them stupid, stupid girls.
5) A Brittlebitch is usually any blonde girl who does her homework/job on Wikipedia & drives a Smart Car.

by Sir Bartholomew McTavish January 1, 2008

captain jirk

Any person, male or female, in a film, book, game, stageplay etc that is acting in a pretentious, less than eroic manner, who ruins completely an otherwise good story.

Examples of a captain jirk are...

David from Shaun of the Dead
The Dolmen from Star Trek TOS Episode 'Elaan of Troyus'
Cypher from The Matrix
The Dursley's from Harry Potter series of books and films
Caligula from real life history and the film 'The Robe'
Brad from Superman 3
Belloq from Raiders of the Lost Ark

Etc.

by Sir Bartholomew McTavish August 23, 2009

crackmail

crackmail is what it is called when a woman, uses her crack to shut a moaning husband, boyfriend up when he finds out something she didn't want known.

Steve: So, what happened when you confronted your missus about doing that hardcore porno behind your back, when she was supposed to be going to see her ill Mother?
Dave: I got crackmailed by the Bitch.

by Sir Bartholomew McTavish October 22, 2008

cockonuts

1:) Not just insane but cock-o-nuts insane.

2:) Dick & balls euphemism.

3:) Jim's granny from American Pie 3.

HERMAPHRODITE #1: Dude, why do you have that Sony Playstation 3 up your ass?
DUDE: Because I like it.
HERMAPHRODITE #1:Dude, you're not just insane, you're cockonuts.
DUDE: Thanks.

by Sir Bartholomew McTavish February 17, 2009

wiidiot

Someone who,no matter how good they are at Resident Evil 4 or Super Paper Mario, looks like a complete idiot to other people watching them play.A Wiidiot is someone who spends about £60 a week on games and 10 hours a day prancing around infront of the TV shooting or blowing things up and looking like a retard.

Son:Mum, where's Dad? I haven't seen him for hours.

Mother: Oh, he's upstairs on your Wii again looking like a total Wiidiot.

Son: Oh. He's a knob, isn't he?

Mother:Yes.

by Sir Bartholomew McTavish November 28, 2007