9 definitions by Shaun Attwood

"Running the jail," Frankie said, "also meant that I got access to anything I can put my hands on...for example, cheetos! That’s what I looked for at first. I ended up with liver, meaning a black cheeto.
Anyway, the horny guy that I am, I had to get my issue. Plus I needed someone to clean my cell and do my laundry. I would have him come in my cell and clean it. I would have him naked cleaning the floor on his hands and knees...."
- from Jonsjailjournal
by Shaun Attwood February 27, 2008
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noun - a sign language used by prisoners in order to communicate through windows; commonly used by inmates in neighboring pods where the windows face each other at the Maricopa County jail system run by Sheriff Joe Arpaio

verb - the act of using swindow
"Hey, dawg, got any tobacco?"
"Nah, dawg. Swindow the white dudes over in A pod and see if they can send some over."
by Shaun Attwood June 16, 2008
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Burpies are an excellent form of cardiovascular endurance training. Burpies are a series of exercises that are performed in a continuous fashion - one after another - for 30 to 60 minutes. There are endless variations of burpies. The most basic form goes like this: start with 50 jumping jacks to get the blood flowing, and then while standing with your feet shoulder-width apart, you bend your legs out behind you. You will (hopefully) land in the push-up position on the floor. If you don't land in the push-up position, you have done a face plant into the concrete. If so, this is not the correct form. From the push-up position do five push-ups and then in one swift motion you draw both legs forward, planting your feet in the original shoulder-width position, and stand up. You have just done one burpie. The entire process should be one smooth motion from start to finish. Burpies can be done alone, with a partner or with a large group of people like you've seen on the prison documentaries. If you are doing them by yourself, run in place for three seconds between repetitions. They are usually done with a partner, then while you are doing a burpie, your partner runs in place, and vice versa.
"Did you work out today, dawg?"
"Yeah, I did thirty minutes of burpies and an hour of pull-ups."
by Shaun Attwood January 23, 2008
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a verb for storing contraband in your rectum, common in prison
“I don’t understand how there’s so much drugs in the prisons. How do they get it all in?” Gemma asked.
“Mostly keystering.”
“What’s that?”
“It’s packed in balloons or condoms. The vistors insert them into their bodies, take them out during the visits and the prisoners insert them into their bodies at visitation. Women visitors have two places they can insert them, and men one. A prisoner who can store a lot inside himself is called a mule. He’ll get paid by the gangs to receive drugs through visitation. Sometimes the packages burst and the mule dies of an overdose or is hospitalised.”
-from Jonsjailjournal
by Shaun Attwood May 14, 2008
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a method of payment for drugs in prison that involves no money changing hands in the prison system, the buyer has someone outside of prison (on the street) pay the seller's business partners outside of prison (on the street), thus payment goes street-to-street
“How do prisoners pay for drugs?” Gemma asked.
“The dealer may be paid in store items, you may have someone put money on his books, or street-to-street.”
“What’s street-to-street?”
Street-to-street means your friends on the street pay his friends on the street, so the money doesn’t even have to enter the prison system. You should hear some of the stories prisoners make up to their family members and friends as to why they need to pay some stranger hundreds and sometimes thousands of dollars. Which reminds me, another way prisoners get drugs in is they put up ads at writeaprisoner.com, get women writing to them, develop relationships, sometimes even marrying them, and then sweet-talk them into keystering drugs in to visitation. Books, legal mail, and food visits are also other ways.”
-from Jonsjailjournal
by Shaun Attwood May 14, 2008
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nothing (used by American Italians and Mafia figures)
Look at Jim Hogg. He promised he was gonna send me five hundred within two weeks of his release. And guess what? I got nothin'. I got ungatz. The word is Jim Hogg copped some cases and he's sittin' in a county jail. He might get six or seven for some silly-ass petty crimes. The guys a fuckin' jabroney. For most prisoners on the way out its like this: 'I'm gonna get out, bro, I'll take care of you. I'll send you a twenty.' And I say, 'OK. Go on and live your life, motherfucker.' It just ain't gonna happen. At the time they mean it, but once they get out there and taste that Chivas Regal or Old Milwaukee they ain't gonna give a fuck about an old lifer in the state pen. Think I expect it? The only way you can disappoint me is if I expect anythin' from you. And I expect ungatz.
by Shaun Attwood January 24, 2008
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“So you got a new celly?”
“Yeah. I’ve known him since he was thirteen. He used to wash my Eldorado. His playmates were my goombahdies’ kids.”
by Shaun Attwood January 17, 2008
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