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1 definition by Satiricus

 
1.
n. A perpetual child/self-professed intellectual. While the word "hipster" might have been tied to social awareness in the past, a modern hipster is defined as a consumer demographic by marketers. Bad beer, Apple products, gay pants, the music of undeserving bands, and pseudophilosophy e-books are all associated with hipsters. This change was carefully planned and executed out of desperation by dying hipsters in the 2000s Great Irony Famine.

Most deluded species of slacker in the world. Living bastardization of caring humanitarian. Would bring about own death by thirst if really in a third-world nation (whining).

Does not realize that people don't necessarily take typical jobs in skilled trade, social work, or applied sciences because they are sheep, but because they realize the importance of being, at the very least, self-sufficient. Shies away from hard studies because s/he is satisfied to complain about the rest of humanity. Putting hipster through serious schooling to make said hipster apply this education to human welfare is nearly impossible.

Believe it is noble to refuse work at a boring job in favor of artistic pursuits. (Some photographers, writers, and journalists become successful, but they truly work in the more competitive field, because, after a certain point, art is useless to human advancement). Does not realize that lucrative/respected careers in the arts require talent and entail endless work and self-promotion, though s/he does the latter by nature.
1. "Look at all these conformists, buying all these pointless things that I happen to not like---HOLYFUCKISTHATANEWIPHONE!?! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDADDYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY"

2. Trey Parasuco, the author of the notoriously self-aggrandizing top definition. Known for being so insecure about the hipster image that he, in typical hipster fashion, authored an intelligent, completely non-delusional thesis about hipsters, which was immediately rated up by thousands of esteemed members of the scientific community.
by Satiricus January 29, 2011