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Rick Roberson's definitions

Hello, girls!

(greeting) What a blind man says when walking in close proximity to a fish market.
Zippa-dee-doo-dah, zippa-dee-day... Oh! Hello, girls!
by Rick Roberson June 14, 2010
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scatoody

(n.) A slang word used by parents, teachers, doctors and other adults that refers to the anus when conversing with children about personal hygiene. This terminology can also be used in general adult conversation.

see also: fudge factory
Blanch: What's for lunch, Jane???

Baby Jane: None of your business. It's a surprize.

Blanch: Will it be a mouse or bird of the week? How about some used cat litter on the side?

Baby Jane: Ah, shut up, ya talking zit!! And if you don't like my cooking you can kiss my scatoody!

Blanch: I'd rather eat a warm nutritious bowl of fermented maggots, you has-been HO!

Baby Jane: OK, then I'll drink another bottle of Listerine and puke it all up!

Blanch: That would be one tasty broth, and I can have that for my soup! Oh, thank you dear sister Jane! Tell me... what's for supper???
by Rick Roberson May 3, 2009
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tossing the toenails

(v. gerund) A euphemism for really puking one's guts out to the max... major vomiting action.

See also: blowing lunch and barf meat.
Betty: Did you enjoy the party last night, Rob?

Rob: Yes, but I drank too much and I upchucked all night long.

Betty: So did I!!! I was blowing lunch until two o'clock this morning.

Rob: I'm sure I swallowed some barf meat.

Betty: Did it taste good?

Rob: Hell NO, bitch! What kind of pervert do you think I am?

Betty: Oh, I don't think you're a pervert, dude. I only asked because the baloney sandwich I had for lunch yesterday tasted better when I was tossing the toenails earlier this morning.
by Rick Roberson January 26, 2010
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poopie hole

(n.) A juvenile term for the anus.

See scatoody.
Doctor: "You may not be constipated. Your poopie hole just won't open far enough. All we can do is provide full-length cock-stabbing penetration of your well-rimmed and squeaky-clean anus with massive enemas."

Patient: "Oh, bless you doctor! How can I thank you?"

Doctor: "You can't. But your insurance company will. Have a nice day."
by Rick Roberson May 11, 2009
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cuntstipation

(n.) Occurs when rock-solid fecal matter is ejected from the vagina onto a person or object, or into an appropriate container.

For our younger, more sensitive readers, cuntstipation is when shit comes out of a girl's pussy (snatch, twat, cunt, meat wallet).
Husband: "Suppose we'll be having sexual intercourse tonight, sweetheart?"

Wife: "Oh no, not tonight, honey... I'm having a bad case of cuntstipation."

Husband: "It's okay, dear. I was just having a sperm-retention headache."
by Rick Roberson April 21, 2011
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maggot muff

(n.) Similar to Spanish moss. A maggot muff can be the result of many things, such as cuntosis, a buildup of smelly sludge in the vaginal area.

See also Vulveeta
He would've normally asked her out to eat had it not been for the rancid odor of her maggot muff.
by Rick Roberson March 19, 2009
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love crater

(n.) The opening to any body cavity (or mechanical masturbatory device) into which the penis can be inserted for sexual gratification.

When the possessor of a particular hole or orifice is a living individual, he/she also experiences sexual gratification. In this case, the term “love crater” can refer to:

1. the mouth (cake hole);
2. the vagina (if applicable: pussy, snatch, twat, cunt, meat wallet), or
3. the anal sphincter (asshole, balloon knot, dumphole, fudge factory, ring-piece).

In the case of solitary mechanical masturbation, the term can also refer to:

1. one's curled-up fingers, or the fist;
2. a jar of cold cream;
3. a melon (such as a cantaloupe); or
4. a vacuum cleaner hose (not recommended by this author).
Husband: Suppose we’ll be having sexual intercourse tonight, dear?

Wife: Oh yes definitely, sweetheart!

Husband: Anything in particular you’d like me to do?

Wife: Yes! I want full-length cock-stabbing penetration of my well-rimmed love crater, honey! Now let me make a man out of you!!

Husband: But darling, into which love crater do you wish for me to insert my penile member?

Wife: All three, baby! Now let’s cut the crap and get naked and nasty, all right?! Aaarrrgghhh-shlurp-shloosh...
by Rick Roberson January 2, 2012
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