14 definitions by Puntmuffer

Pretzel bites

A playful sex act that involves biting into the soft, salty and sweet lips of your partner after they've eaten a chocolate-covered pretzel.

Shannon loved getting pretzel bites at work, but not as much as Ben did.

by Puntmuffer September 24, 2017

sangria in the sukkah

Being flogged with a lulav by a Rabbi until your ass bleeds, then having the etrog juice poured into the wound.

Ross's favorite Jewish holiday ritual was having sangria in the sukkah.

by Puntmuffer October 2, 2017

Legos in the shower

Jizz that's dried out and hardened on a shower floor.

Shira swore she'd never shower second again after almost stepping on the Legos in the shower.

by Puntmuffer October 25, 2017

White fudge ding dong

What to call a white guy's dingleberry after anal sex.

Anne loves a white fudge ding dong before going to sleep.

by Puntmuffer September 27, 2017

routes

The different paths a penis can take to maneuver through the various defenses crafted by women to protect their end zones.

Cam Newton thinks it's funny to hear a female talk about routes .

by Puntmuffer October 6, 2017

Going down under

1) Sucking Thor's hammer;
2) Teabagging Thor;
3) Pegging Thor;
4) Masturbating while thinking of Thor;
5) Taking ten days off in Australia.

Last night I told Lior that he is lucky I met him before Thor. I told him that I would be in Australia right now going down under.

by Puntmuffer October 28, 2017

bad conduct discharge

Ejaculate that leaks from your mistress's vagina after sex.

My army buddy just stared in disbelief at the bad conduct discharge that was lying on the bed - he had thought sex with the general's wife would cheer him up, but it was sex with her in the first place that led to his court martial.

by Puntmuffer October 23, 2018