14 definitions by Porneggs
John Thomas Salley (born May 16, 1964 in Brooklyn, New York) is a former professional basketball player in the NBA. Salley is the first player in NBA history to play on three different championship-winning franchises.
John Salley is now a regular guest on, "The Best Damn Sports show" where he consistently makes himself look like a douchebag. Although he was a more than adequate basketball player, hey may suffer from down syndrome. Recently his heterosexuality has come into question as well.
John Salley is now a regular guest on, "The Best Damn Sports show" where he consistently makes himself look like a douchebag. Although he was a more than adequate basketball player, hey may suffer from down syndrome. Recently his heterosexuality has come into question as well.
Conversation in relation to Barry Bonds cheating:
John Salley:
"Cheating is ok, everyone does it yo. Everyone stretches the pewamatas (parameters)."
Really Hot Lawyer chick:
"Yeah, and they usually pay the prices, because there are rules"
John Salley:
"you tellin' me you never go fitty five in a 50 zone?"
Really hot lawyer chick:
"yes, and thats why I have speeding tickets which I've payed!"
John Salley:
"haha..yo girl, you gotta change your groove"
John Salley:
"Cheating is ok, everyone does it yo. Everyone stretches the pewamatas (parameters)."
Really Hot Lawyer chick:
"Yeah, and they usually pay the prices, because there are rules"
John Salley:
"you tellin' me you never go fitty five in a 50 zone?"
Really hot lawyer chick:
"yes, and thats why I have speeding tickets which I've payed!"
John Salley:
"haha..yo girl, you gotta change your groove"
by Porneggs July 6, 2006
Commonly mistaken for a good basketball player, Hedo Turkoglu is a 6"10, unathletic sloth who gets paid $10 000 000/year (US) by the Toronto Raptors to dribble around the top of the key, take contested 3 pointers early in the shot-clock, and clumsily drive the to basket while utilizing his 11 inch vertical to pass the ball to the perimeter.
Once considered a key piece to an Orlando team which made the 2009 NBA Finals, Hedo is better known as a %40.00 Field Goal shooter throughout his career, who has benefited from being surrounded with elite talents such as Tim Duncan and Dwight Howard in order to mask his many deficiencies as a player. Once securing a large contract with a Toronto Raptors team that was unable to disguise his weaknesses, Hedo was exposed for the lazy, selfish, sub-par athlete he truly is. This was exemplified in his decision to fake a stomach illness in a game the Toronto Raptors lost by 1 point in the 2009-2010 season, to go clubbing. Toronto ended up missing the playoffs by 1 game.
Once considered a key piece to an Orlando team which made the 2009 NBA Finals, Hedo is better known as a %40.00 Field Goal shooter throughout his career, who has benefited from being surrounded with elite talents such as Tim Duncan and Dwight Howard in order to mask his many deficiencies as a player. Once securing a large contract with a Toronto Raptors team that was unable to disguise his weaknesses, Hedo was exposed for the lazy, selfish, sub-par athlete he truly is. This was exemplified in his decision to fake a stomach illness in a game the Toronto Raptors lost by 1 point in the 2009-2010 season, to go clubbing. Toronto ended up missing the playoffs by 1 game.
Jack Armstrong: "Hedo, please explain why, in an 82 game season, were you able to play 1, solid all-around basketball game....against the New York Knicks no less?"
Hedo (Hidayet) Turkoglu: "Ball"
Jay Triano: "Hedo, are you reviewing your tapes from the LA game"
Hedo (Hidayet) Turkoglu (on the couch, eating Pizza and drinking sprite like the lazy, selfish, lying sloth he is): "yes coach"
Hedo (Hidayet) Turkoglu: "Ball"
Jay Triano: "Hedo, are you reviewing your tapes from the LA game"
Hedo (Hidayet) Turkoglu (on the couch, eating Pizza and drinking sprite like the lazy, selfish, lying sloth he is): "yes coach"
by Porneggs May 5, 2010
Owner of the New York Yankees. Notriously known for over-paying aging players in a an effort to buy championships.
"The yankees just signed the American League all-star team to a 5-year contract worth 2 billion dollars, and extended 43 year old Randy Johnson's contract for 8 more years."
"George Steinbrenner is such a cocksucker. I hope the yankees choke in the playoffs again."
"George Steinbrenner is such a cocksucker. I hope the yankees choke in the playoffs again."
by Porneggs June 8, 2006
by Porneggs May 29, 2006
The 1 - 4 scale was devised by several brilliant minds who grew increasingly frustrated with the inherent subjectivity of rating women on a 1-10 scale of fuckability. Hence, the 1 - 4 scale was created to avoid the dubious, yet frequent dilemma of distinguishing between a "9" an 8.4" a "3.4" etc. The genius of the 1 -4 scale is that it employs a categorical, objective system generally agreed upon by most heterosexual males (and lipstick lesbians, not the butch ones).
Without further ado, here is the breakdown of categories:
A "1": This category is designated for females who you un-mistakenably, undoubtedly, and unabashedly would not have sex with, even in your most inebriated, depressed and lonely state. The "1" is generally characterized by the lethal combination of an ugly face, extreme obesity and very low self-confidence.
The "2":
This category is interesting because a lot more variables come into play here. The "2" is agreed upon to be generally unattractive however due to a variety of circumstances (i.e. shes a butter face, decent face with a fat body, or you have a fetish for 14 year old Malaysian prostitutes), you will have sex with her if you are drunk enough. The key here is that nobody finds out. You make sure you keep this one to yourself.
The "3":
Simultaneously the easiest, yet most problematic category to define. The "3", very broadly put, is a legitimately attractive female who you would unashamedly have sex with. The "3" is worthy of bragging rights, perhaps even girlfriend material, if you're a pussy like that. This is probably the best you're going to ever do.
the "4":
The "4" is distinct and should not be thrown around lightly. To put it in the words of one of the founding fathers of the 1-4 scale, "this girl is so hot, you would kill your own mother and piss on her grave just to smell this girl's shit." While killing is a little extreme (given the nature of our court system and their increasing willingness to play the "hard line" on parent killings), it puts into context the magnitude of what the "4" represents. This girl is so out of your league, you avoid eye contact at all costs. "4's" represent under 1% of the female population, and you most likely will never insert your penis in one.
Without further ado, here is the breakdown of categories:
A "1": This category is designated for females who you un-mistakenably, undoubtedly, and unabashedly would not have sex with, even in your most inebriated, depressed and lonely state. The "1" is generally characterized by the lethal combination of an ugly face, extreme obesity and very low self-confidence.
The "2":
This category is interesting because a lot more variables come into play here. The "2" is agreed upon to be generally unattractive however due to a variety of circumstances (i.e. shes a butter face, decent face with a fat body, or you have a fetish for 14 year old Malaysian prostitutes), you will have sex with her if you are drunk enough. The key here is that nobody finds out. You make sure you keep this one to yourself.
The "3":
Simultaneously the easiest, yet most problematic category to define. The "3", very broadly put, is a legitimately attractive female who you would unashamedly have sex with. The "3" is worthy of bragging rights, perhaps even girlfriend material, if you're a pussy like that. This is probably the best you're going to ever do.
the "4":
The "4" is distinct and should not be thrown around lightly. To put it in the words of one of the founding fathers of the 1-4 scale, "this girl is so hot, you would kill your own mother and piss on her grave just to smell this girl's shit." While killing is a little extreme (given the nature of our court system and their increasing willingness to play the "hard line" on parent killings), it puts into context the magnitude of what the "4" represents. This girl is so out of your league, you avoid eye contact at all costs. "4's" represent under 1% of the female population, and you most likely will never insert your penis in one.
Me: "Hey dude, how did last night go?"
Roommate: "Not bad, brought a girl home"
Me: "Nice. She a 3?"
Roommate: "No, i'd say like a 7/10"
Me: "Listen cock-smoker, the 1-10 scale is for fucking amateurs, what is she on the 1 - 4 scale we discussed?"
Roommate: "Oh..I'd say mid-to-high 2ish"
Me: "werd"
Roommate: "Not bad, brought a girl home"
Me: "Nice. She a 3?"
Roommate: "No, i'd say like a 7/10"
Me: "Listen cock-smoker, the 1-10 scale is for fucking amateurs, what is she on the 1 - 4 scale we discussed?"
Roommate: "Oh..I'd say mid-to-high 2ish"
Me: "werd"
by Porneggs October 24, 2008
derived from Chappelle Show character Clayton Bigsby, it is a deviation of the word "Nayger", which means "nigger."
Usually used as a salute, or to acknowledge one of your friends.
Usually used as a salute, or to acknowledge one of your friends.
by Porneggs May 16, 2006
Ace-Deuce,aka "Ace, Two" is a starting hand in Texas Hold-em, which is deceptively good because you have an ace, but it's really a pile of crap. It will fuck you over a lot, especially if someone else has an Ace with any card higher than a two.
Someone else; " I got two pair, aces and nines, what do you have?"
me: "Ace-deuce, fuck. I fucking hate ace-deuce."
me: "Ace-deuce, fuck. I fucking hate ace-deuce."
by Porneggs August 31, 2005