Mother's Day (MUH-thurz day)n. the first day in a new month when welfare, moreover disability or social security checks, are received by mail or direct deposit
>at the trailor park<
Sue: "Thank christ it's the first of the month."
Maryann: "Why is that?"
Sue: "It's Mother's Day and I can buy some stuff."
Maryann: "Don't you think you should pay rent and utilities first?"
Sue: "Fuck off Maryann."
an ARE-me of too adj. refers to the words written across a tight tee-shirt of a woman with large breasts
dude 1: Holy fuck! Check out that bitch with the boobs!
dude 2: Fuck ME!
dude 1: No shit. What the fuck does her tee-shirt say on it man?
dude 2: It says "An Army of Two!"
dude 1: Cool.
dude 2: Totally cool.
(post post ger-nah-liz-em) noun. the situating that occurs when one has the opportunity to watch one’s fatal demise from a position of relative comfort, then having survived the incident one gives an aural as well as visual account of the harrowing situation from a position of relative comfort
Wolf Blitzer: OMG! Look at that plane's fucked up front wheel! How will they ever land it?
other talking head: I don’t know. Let’s watch it all later.
Wolf Blitzer: Now this just in…
Later in Situation Room:
Wolf Blitzer: We now have a CNN exclusive interview with a CNN correspondent who just happened to be on that plane with the fucked up front wheel. Let’s tune in .
survivor/reporter: …So, there we were. We watched our plane going around and around for 3 hours on the tv screens in the backs of the seats in front of us. And we didn’t die in a fiery crash either. OMFG! This is definitely a case of post post journalism.
(TOCKS ick GUM bow) adj. in reference to the foul, fetid, putrid, industrially polluted, bloated corpse filled flood waters that innundated 'soup bowl' shaped New Orleans for weeks after the damage from Hurricane Katrina caused the unsafe levee system to fail miserably
evacuee on roof 1: Gee, I wouldn't drink that water if I were you.
evacuee on roof 2: Why not? I'm thirsty as hell.
evacuee on roof 1: It looks like toxic gumbo to me. Wait for FEMA to rescue us. They'll be here soon.
evacuee on roof 2: I think I saw them over at the nursing home.
(WHRET-row-wish) n. the condition which can arrise if you fail to forward a chain email
Sue: "OMG. The instructions at the end of that stupid chain email said that I had to forward it to 10 people in the next 10 minutes or my wish would be cancelled."
Sally: "How many people did you send it to?"
Sue: "Uh, eight, I think. Now what?"
Sally: "Well then, I guess you will have yourself a retrowish."
(fore LAY-ter) noun. term for any amount of food wrapped up in foil or plastic wrap with or without a paper plate and given to one by a Jewish Mother for consumption at some point in the future
Jewish Mother: What? You think I'm trying to poison you already!?
Nebbish: No, I loved your kugel. I ate six helpings.
Jewish Mother: It was five but who's counting. Here let me fix you some for later.
Nebbish: That would be lovely. Thank you.