Why can't Jake get any action? He's a pretty nice dude and seems to do everything right but the guy can't get laid for shit. It's a real head scratcher...
by Mr.nj April 16, 2017
Get the Head Scratchermug. When an individual sexually pleasures him/herself in a room (usually a dorm room) with another person in it, but the other person doesn't know. Typically the person that doesn't know is asleep or drunk.
Girl 1: Hey roommate, if a tree falls in the woods but nobody hears it, does it really make a sound?
Girl 2: Bitch don't get all philosophical n shit on me I know you fucked yourself last night.
Girl 1: fml
Girl 2: Bitch don't get all philosophical n shit on me I know you fucked yourself last night.
Girl 1: fml
by Mr.nj June 13, 2016
Get the Tree Falls in the Woodsmug. Acronym for Dreaded Late Night Poop.
We’ve all been there. You’re freshly showered, thinking about counting sheep, ready to hunker down for the night, and then it hits you. You have to poop. “Shit!” you curse quietly. It’s at this point you start to ask yourself questions: Can I hold it till the morning? Didn’t I just poop a few hours ago? Will I be able to sleep after this? You ponder for a few minutes, but ultimately decide that you have no choice but to lay some cable. You begrudgingly walk to the bathroom and succumb to the ever-powerful force that is the DLNP.
We’ve all been there. You’re freshly showered, thinking about counting sheep, ready to hunker down for the night, and then it hits you. You have to poop. “Shit!” you curse quietly. It’s at this point you start to ask yourself questions: Can I hold it till the morning? Didn’t I just poop a few hours ago? Will I be able to sleep after this? You ponder for a few minutes, but ultimately decide that you have no choice but to lay some cable. You begrudgingly walk to the bathroom and succumb to the ever-powerful force that is the DLNP.
Employee: Sorry for being late to work, boss. Couldn’t sleep last night after my DLNP got me out of my rhythm.
Boss: What in the absolute dick punch fuck are you talking about? You’re fired.
Boss: What in the absolute dick punch fuck are you talking about? You’re fired.
by Mr.nj November 25, 2019
Get the DLNPmug. Guy 1: I was checking tinder for some babes last night but then some huge ass dick popped up on my screen.
Guy 2: Guess you got Tindick-ed
Guy 2: Guess you got Tindick-ed
by Mr.nj June 12, 2016
Get the Tindickmug. A dude who tells all his friends he's fucking a girl, but it's really the same girl he was fucking last year and he's just calling her a different name
Barry is such a Paige Turner, said he was fucking Pamela but is was really Randi, just like last year. Cuz that's the only puss he can get
by Mr.nj April 14, 2017
Get the Paige Turnermug. by Mr.nj April 14, 2017
Get the Red Ghostmug. When a nerdy ass white dude hasn't gotten any pussy in the 40 years of his existence but somehow finds some fugly Chinese lady to marry him. Called Drain Trap because she kept him from falling into eternal virginity.
Guy 1: I'm so happy for Bert. The guy hasn't even talked to a girl since freshman year of college but he and Sung-Ling just found each other.
Guy 2: Classic Drain Trap, look it up.
Guy 2: Classic Drain Trap, look it up.
by Mr.nj February 26, 2019
Get the Drain Trapmug.