Mr.nj's definitions

Tindick

When you're checking tinder and a dick just pops up.

Guy 1: I was checking tinder for some babes last night but then some huge ass dick popped up on my screen.
Guy 2: Guess you got Tindick-ed

by Mr.nj June 12, 2016

DLNP

Acronym for Dreaded Late Night Poop.
We’ve all been there. You’re freshly showered, thinking about counting sheep, ready to hunker down for the night, and then it hits you. You have to poop. “Shit!” you curse quietly. It’s at this point you start to ask yourself questions: Can I hold it till the morning? Didn’t I just poop a few hours ago? Will I be able to sleep after this? You ponder for a few minutes, but ultimately decide that you have no choice but to lay some cable. You begrudgingly walk to the bathroom and succumb to the ever-powerful force that is the DLNP.

Employee: Sorry for being late to work, boss. Couldn’t sleep last night after my DLNP got me out of my rhythm.
Boss: What in the absolute dick punch fuck are you talking about? You’re fired.

by Mr.nj November 25, 2019

Tree Falls in the Woods

When an individual sexually pleasures him/herself in a room (usually a dorm room) with another person in it, but the other person doesn't know. Typically the person that doesn't know is asleep or drunk.

Girl 1: Hey roommate, if a tree falls in the woods but nobody hears it, does it really make a sound?
Girl 2: Bitch don't get all philosophical n shit on me I know you fucked yourself last night.
Girl 1: fml

by Mr.nj June 13, 2016

Head Scratcher

Used to define your one friend who never gets any puss even though he's not a loser.

Why can't Jake get any action? He's a pretty nice dude and seems to do everything right but the guy can't get laid for shit. It's a real head scratcher...

by Mr.nj April 16, 2017

Paige Turner

A dude who tells all his friends he's fucking a girl, but it's really the same girl he was fucking last year and he's just calling her a different name

Barry is such a Paige Turner, said he was fucking Pamela but is was really Randi, just like last year. Cuz that's the only puss he can get

by Mr.nj April 14, 2017

Stale Gumball

A wannabe hoe who's afraid of being in a relationship. She spends as long as she can drawing a guy in and leading him on, making him think she's "the one," but then once the guy makes a move she goes apeshit on him, rejects him hard, and makes him feel like a fucking piece of shit loser.

Guy 1: "Hey how'd things go with that chick you've been crazy about for the last month?"
Guy 2: "She's a fucking stale gumball, dude. You see her and for some reason just need to have her; she looks so delicious and seems so sweet, but then you go to bite into her expecting a nice soft piece of gum and instead she breaks your jaw."
Guy 1: "Fuck, you spent way too long thinking about that. I hope you're over that bitch."

by Mr.nj April 16, 2017

Drain Trap

When a nerdy ass white dude hasn't gotten any pussy in the 40 years of his existence but somehow finds some fugly Chinese lady to marry him. Called Drain Trap because she kept him from falling into eternal virginity.

Guy 1: I'm so happy for Bert. The guy hasn't even talked to a girl since freshman year of college but he and Sung-Ling just found each other.

Guy 2: Classic Drain Trap, look it up.

by Mr.nj February 26, 2019