Mr. Cardboard's definitions

special needs haircut

One of the best possible pranks you can pull on someone who gets too drunk and falls asleep at a party. Various forms are possible but depend largely on the pre-existing haircut, the position the recipient has passed out in, how unconscious they are and the hair cutting devices available.

The classic is the bowl cut - hair above the ears is left untouched, hair below the ears is badly shaved down to about number 2. Ths should ideally be lopsided with a meander at the back of the head for maximum "specialness".

nb. it is a mortal sin to pull this prank on a woman due partly to the fact that all women everywhere will feel such sympathy for her that you will never get laid again, but mostly because women should never, ever have short hair.

Dude 1: Urgh, where am I? What time is it?

Dude 2: *Laughs uncontrollably*

Dude 1: (touching head) What? Huh? Why's my head shaved? Where's the mirr... A FUCKING SPECIAL NEEDS HAIRCUT??

by Mr. Cardboard November 6, 2011

immolate

to impersonate a mole

"There's a famous picture of a Vietrnamese monk who immolated himself in order to protest the war."

by Mr. Cardboard November 7, 2011

Lambrover

A Lambrini hangover. A hangover resulting from excessive consumption of Lambrini.

Not to be confused with: Lamb rover.

Cherise woke up wondering where she was, still wearing the same dress from last night. She stumbled to the bathroom past her broken high heels and sat on the toilet with her head in her hands. Pulling out her Galaxy Note 10 she started to go through the pictures from last night on Facebook. This was the beginning of the mother of all Lambrovers.

by Mr. Cardboard August 23, 2019

PA

1. Personal Assistant

2. Pointless Acronym

Ponce: Schedule a meeting through my PA.

Human: PA?

Ponce: Personal Assistant.

Human: You mean your assistant?

by Mr. Cardboard November 8, 2011

mousepraneense

To mispronounce a word or phrase.

A: "That's so banal."

B: "I think you are mousepraneenseing that word."

by Mr. Cardboard November 7, 2011

think bike

A slogan used by British road safety campaigners to try to reduce the number of motorcycle deaths caused by people riding motorcycles into cars, rather than trying to get motorcycle riders to ride more responsibly.

"I used to ride a motorbike but I had a few close calls and decided it was too dangerous. Think bike? Think maybe I'll stop being a fucktard and get a car before I end up with my handlebars through my sternum."

by Mr. Cardboard November 7, 2011

thirsty

A craving for water or other beverage to alleviate dehydration.

Sarah Silverman: "I was going to get an abortion the other day. I totally wanted an abortion. And it turns out I was just thirsty.”

by Mr. Cardboard November 6, 2011