Mr. Cardboard's definitions
The teenage girl's kryptonite.
Stacey never paid me much attention even though I'd wanted to bang her since the 3rd grade, she was always so prim and proper. Then last Friday night I bumped into her at the bar and being a gentleman I offered her a drink.
4 white wines later she turned into Audrey Hollander it was like Jekyll and Hyde, but with sex.
4 white wines later she turned into Audrey Hollander it was like Jekyll and Hyde, but with sex.
by Mr. Cardboard October 30, 2011
Get the white wine mug.Theoretical construct to continue having sex with someone who is hot but lives far away and is not worth moving for, but is worth visiting from time to time for a change from all the regular sex you are getting.
Dude 1: I heard Stacey moved away to go to university, sucks for you.
Dude 2: Psh I just told her we'd have a long distance relationship.
Dude 1: I like your style.
Dude 2: Psh I just told her we'd have a long distance relationship.
Dude 1: I like your style.
by Mr. Cardboard November 8, 2011
Get the long distance relationship mug.Sarah Silverman: "I was going to get an abortion the other day. I totally wanted an abortion. And it turns out I was just thirsty.”
by Mr. Cardboard November 6, 2011
Get the thirsty mug.A sizeable stash of pornography built up over several decades, enabling you to relive the experiences of people who masturbated in those times.
Will Ferrell: "I still hate you, but you've got a pretty awesome collection of nudie mags."
John C. Reilly: "Yeah, I got them from the '70's, '80's and '90's. It's like masturbating in a time machine."
John C. Reilly: "Yeah, I got them from the '70's, '80's and '90's. It's like masturbating in a time machine."
by Mr. Cardboard November 7, 2011
Get the time machine mug.1. A low-level employee of McDonalds or any other generic fast-food outlet.
2. An extremely stupid person, more fucktarded than a regular fucktard.
3. A fucktard's offspring, as the prefix 'Mc' means 'son of' in Scottish.
2. An extremely stupid person, more fucktarded than a regular fucktard.
3. A fucktard's offspring, as the prefix 'Mc' means 'son of' in Scottish.
by Mr. Cardboard November 7, 2011
Get the McFucktard mug.by Mr. Cardboard July 5, 2012
Get the pornanza mug.Cocktail - variant of the Bloody Mary.
A large measure of 60% proof white Jamaican rum in a dirty glass, overfilled with tinned chopped tomatoes such that the juice runs down the outside of the glass onto the table. Stirred with index finger, spilling more of the contents.
Taste and immediately regret. Place on table and forget about for several minutes, then accidentally spill down the wall. Leave on wall for 3-5 years.
A large measure of 60% proof white Jamaican rum in a dirty glass, overfilled with tinned chopped tomatoes such that the juice runs down the outside of the glass onto the table. Stirred with index finger, spilling more of the contents.
Taste and immediately regret. Place on table and forget about for several minutes, then accidentally spill down the wall. Leave on wall for 3-5 years.
by Mr. Cardboard November 6, 2011
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