Mr. Cardboard's definitions
Pissing in the sink instead of the toilet. An act which saves water and is therefore good for the planet but enrages women purely because they can't do it due to their defective chromosomes, causing them to make ridiculous claims such as "it's disgusting" when we all know that urine is sterile as it leaves the body.
"You better not be doing a sinkpiss again!"
"I pay the water bill bitch so until you let me put a urinal in the bathroom I'm sinkpissing!"
"I pay the water bill bitch so until you let me put a urinal in the bathroom I'm sinkpissing!"
by Mr. Cardboard October 30, 2011
Get the sinkpissmug. One of the best possible pranks you can pull on someone who gets too drunk and falls asleep at a party. Various forms are possible but depend largely on the pre-existing haircut, the position the recipient has passed out in, how unconscious they are and the hair cutting devices available.
The classic is the bowl cut - hair above the ears is left untouched, hair below the ears is badly shaved down to about number 2. Ths should ideally be lopsided with a meander at the back of the head for maximum "specialness".
nb. it is a mortal sin to pull this prank on a woman due partly to the fact that all women everywhere will feel such sympathy for her that you will never get laid again, but mostly because women should never, ever have short hair.
The classic is the bowl cut - hair above the ears is left untouched, hair below the ears is badly shaved down to about number 2. Ths should ideally be lopsided with a meander at the back of the head for maximum "specialness".
nb. it is a mortal sin to pull this prank on a woman due partly to the fact that all women everywhere will feel such sympathy for her that you will never get laid again, but mostly because women should never, ever have short hair.
Dude 1: Urgh, where am I? What time is it?
Dude 2: *Laughs uncontrollably*
Dude 1: (touching head) What? Huh? Why's my head shaved? Where's the mirr... A FUCKING SPECIAL NEEDS HAIRCUT??
Dude 2: *Laughs uncontrollably*
Dude 1: (touching head) What? Huh? Why's my head shaved? Where's the mirr... A FUCKING SPECIAL NEEDS HAIRCUT??
by Mr. Cardboard November 6, 2011
Get the special needs haircutmug. Every woman on the face of the earth, plus any that happen to be in space right now.
"Stacey and me were so close when we were at primary, but then she hit puberty and now she's like a snake with tits."
"Stacey and me were so close when we were at primary, but then she hit puberty and now she's like a snake with tits."
by Mr. Cardboard October 30, 2011
Get the snake with titsmug. The most epic porn star the world has ever seen. Hardcore wasn't good enough for her, no no, she had to invent supercore. Belladonna was top turkey for a long time, but then Audrey came along, crapped cum into her own mouth and swallowed it. Nobody can top that.
"If you could sleep with anyone, living or dead, who would you sleep with?"
"Audrey Hollander. Alive."
"Audrey Hollander. Alive."
by Mr. Cardboard October 30, 2011
Get the Audrey Hollandermug. by Mr. Cardboard November 6, 2011
Get the brownmug. by Mr. Cardboard November 7, 2011
Get the immolatemug. Suffix meaning "to steal", generally applied to a vehicle or situation. Originates from the word hijack but bastardised for comic effect.
Dude 1: I was gonna go for a crap but someone's running a bath.
Dude 2: You should have jacked it.
Dude 1: Bathjacking?
Dude 2: You should have jacked it.
Dude 1: Bathjacking?
by Mr. Cardboard November 6, 2011
Get the jackmug.