Mr. Cardboard's definitions
An emotion which, irrespective of whatever previous emotion you were feeling, instantaneously makes you feel like you are going to die, fills your entire body with adrenaline and sends your heart rate off the scale.
Fear was a very useful evolutionary advance for millions of years, keeping mankind one step ahead of predators and snakes and shit but unfortunately it still occurs in trivial situations, such as:
- when you lean back on your chair to the point it feels like it might suddenly tip over
- when you are eating food in the street and you almost drop a bit on the floor
- when you have been smoking weed with your bong buddies for a few hours and a group of very tall, charismatic people you haven't met before suddenly show up
- when your girlfriend almost discovers the stash of tranny porn you acquired years ago but completely forgot about...until right now
Fear was a very useful evolutionary advance for millions of years, keeping mankind one step ahead of predators and snakes and shit but unfortunately it still occurs in trivial situations, such as:
- when you lean back on your chair to the point it feels like it might suddenly tip over
- when you are eating food in the street and you almost drop a bit on the floor
- when you have been smoking weed with your bong buddies for a few hours and a group of very tall, charismatic people you haven't met before suddenly show up
- when your girlfriend almost discovers the stash of tranny porn you acquired years ago but completely forgot about...until right now
"Are you coming to the pub?"
"No man I got severely drunk in there last night and exposed myself to everyone. I can't face their accusing eyes until the fear goes away."
"No man I got severely drunk in there last night and exposed myself to everyone. I can't face their accusing eyes until the fear goes away."
by Mr. Cardboard October 30, 2011
Get the fear mug.An all-girls highschool.
by Mr. Cardboard November 6, 2011
Get the Virgin Megastore mug.Any form of dungeon where sexual activities occur.
At one extreme this is a spare room in a house containing some vaguely dungeony artefacts like plastic handcuffs where a consensual couple may role play S&M when they are in the mood for some minor kink.
The other extreme is an actual dungeon in the dark, dank bowels of an actual castle where individuals are held permanently against their will and forced to perform unspeakable acts for the gratification of their captor.
At one extreme this is a spare room in a house containing some vaguely dungeony artefacts like plastic handcuffs where a consensual couple may role play S&M when they are in the mood for some minor kink.
The other extreme is an actual dungeon in the dark, dank bowels of an actual castle where individuals are held permanently against their will and forced to perform unspeakable acts for the gratification of their captor.
Customer: "Do you sell galvanised steel chain?"
Shop assistant: "Yes sir, aisle 6"
Customer: "Great, and do you have manacles?"
Shop assistant: "Sorry we're fresh out, have you tried 'Sex Dungeons R Us'?"
Shop assistant: "Yes sir, aisle 6"
Customer: "Great, and do you have manacles?"
Shop assistant: "Sorry we're fresh out, have you tried 'Sex Dungeons R Us'?"
by Mr. Cardboard November 7, 2011
Get the sex dungeon mug.Before hiding the sausage, any man worth his salt first hides the chips. i.e. before sticking your cock in a bird it is generally wise to stick a couple of fingers in there to assess the risk of disease/transvestite/mousetraps.
This act can be conveniently passed off as "foreplay".
This act can be conveniently passed off as "foreplay".
A: Dude I saw you getting it on with Stacey last night, how'd you make out?
B: Gutted, she'd only let me finger her.
A: Hid the chips?* Here let me smell.
*past participle of "hide the chips"
B: Gutted, she'd only let me finger her.
A: Hid the chips?* Here let me smell.
*past participle of "hide the chips"
by Mr. Cardboard June 27, 2011
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"Stacey and me were so close when we were at primary, but then she hit puberty and now she's like a snake with tits."
"Stacey and me were so close when we were at primary, but then she hit puberty and now she's like a snake with tits."
by Mr. Cardboard October 30, 2011
Get the snake with tits mug.The most epic porn star the world has ever seen. Hardcore wasn't good enough for her, no no, she had to invent supercore. Belladonna was top turkey for a long time, but then Audrey came along, crapped cum into her own mouth and swallowed it. Nobody can top that.
"If you could sleep with anyone, living or dead, who would you sleep with?"
"Audrey Hollander. Alive."
"Audrey Hollander. Alive."
by Mr. Cardboard October 30, 2011
Get the Audrey Hollander mug.Dude 1: Congrats on finally getting a job.
Dude 2: Thanks, I'm sure gonna miss having beereakfast though.
Dude 2: Thanks, I'm sure gonna miss having beereakfast though.
by Mr. Cardboard November 7, 2011
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