Mr. Cardboard's definitions
Someone who is unable to manage their finances or fertility well enough such that they have to get out of bed or "goob" in order to obtain more money or attend to their offspring, instead of lying in bed all day drinking and masturbating like a true champion.
by Mr. Cardboard November 7, 2011
Get the goober mug.The teenage girl's kryptonite.
Stacey never paid me much attention even though I'd wanted to bang her since the 3rd grade, she was always so prim and proper. Then last Friday night I bumped into her at the bar and being a gentleman I offered her a drink.
4 white wines later she turned into Audrey Hollander it was like Jekyll and Hyde, but with sex.
4 white wines later she turned into Audrey Hollander it was like Jekyll and Hyde, but with sex.
by Mr. Cardboard October 30, 2011
Get the white wine mug.Theoretical construct to continue having sex with someone who is hot but lives far away and is not worth moving for, but is worth visiting from time to time for a change from all the regular sex you are getting.
Dude 1: I heard Stacey moved away to go to university, sucks for you.
Dude 2: Psh I just told her we'd have a long distance relationship.
Dude 1: I like your style.
Dude 2: Psh I just told her we'd have a long distance relationship.
Dude 1: I like your style.
by Mr. Cardboard November 8, 2011
Get the long distance relationship mug.The labia of the vagina.
Inner or outer and ranging in appearance from tiny and tidy, through streaky, to full medallions and at the extreme - pieces which someone has attempted to chew, choked on and had to be Heimliched and kept in hospital overnight as a precaution.
Inner or outer and ranging in appearance from tiny and tidy, through streaky, to full medallions and at the extreme - pieces which someone has attempted to chew, choked on and had to be Heimliched and kept in hospital overnight as a precaution.
I was reading the Victoria's Secret catalogue trying to pick my favourite model, one of them was far more beautiful than the rest but you could tell she had excessive bacon and it made the process so much more taxing.
by Mr. Cardboard July 24, 2012
Get the bacon mug."Hey can you give me a lift home?"
"Sorry sweetie but I'm still drunkover from last night. Why don't you give me a blowie so I can sleep it off?"
"Sorry sweetie but I'm still drunkover from last night. Why don't you give me a blowie so I can sleep it off?"
by Mr. Cardboard November 6, 2011
Get the drunkover mug.Cocktail - variant of the Bloody Mary.
A large measure of 60% proof white Jamaican rum in a dirty glass, overfilled with tinned chopped tomatoes such that the juice runs down the outside of the glass onto the table. Stirred with index finger, spilling more of the contents.
Taste and immediately regret. Place on table and forget about for several minutes, then accidentally spill down the wall. Leave on wall for 3-5 years.
A large measure of 60% proof white Jamaican rum in a dirty glass, overfilled with tinned chopped tomatoes such that the juice runs down the outside of the glass onto the table. Stirred with index finger, spilling more of the contents.
Taste and immediately regret. Place on table and forget about for several minutes, then accidentally spill down the wall. Leave on wall for 3-5 years.
by Mr. Cardboard November 6, 2011
Get the shipwreck mug.An all-girls highschool.
by Mr. Cardboard November 6, 2011
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