Mr. Cardboard's definitions
Undercooked pasta which, upon regurgitation, resembles a squirming mass of worms and maggots. Al dente literally means "to the teeth", as it is almost crunchy, meaning it is cheap, dried pasta rather than fresh, soft pasta.
For example a hastily-cooked friday night spaghetti before going out on the piss can be complimented as "al dente", however once one is blowing chunks in the form of long, strandy, red worms covered in stomach bile that tickle ever inch of your oesophagus, not to mention the back of your nose, down a back alley, soon becomes "undercooked".
For example a hastily-cooked friday night spaghetti before going out on the piss can be complimented as "al dente", however once one is blowing chunks in the form of long, strandy, red worms covered in stomach bile that tickle ever inch of your oesophagus, not to mention the back of your nose, down a back alley, soon becomes "undercooked".
"Sorry I puked all over your dress last night."
"That's ok, it was mostly spaghetti so it was very easy to clean off, thank god for al dente."
"That explains why I shat nothing but worms and maggots this morning, next time I'll give it a couple more minutes in the pan."
"That's ok, it was mostly spaghetti so it was very easy to clean off, thank god for al dente."
"That explains why I shat nothing but worms and maggots this morning, next time I'll give it a couple more minutes in the pan."
by Mr. Cardboard November 3, 2011
Get the al dente mug.1) Someone who loves themselves so much that masturbation isn't enough self-love for them, so they publicise their imaginary greatness by appearing on reality TV shows, or failing that, add entries to definition websites describing people with their name as somehow better than everyone else. See also: narcissist.
2) Basically the same as 1) above but a narcissist who, having had their pride bruised by someone, decides it is a mature and reasonable course of action to define aforementioned person on a definition website with details of said infidelity plus various fabrications about their sexual and/or culinary desires. Someone who publicly blames their own inadequacies on someone else.
2) Basically the same as 1) above but a narcissist who, having had their pride bruised by someone, decides it is a mature and reasonable course of action to define aforementioned person on a definition website with details of said infidelity plus various fabrications about their sexual and/or culinary desires. Someone who publicly blames their own inadequacies on someone else.
I was on Urban Dictionary last night voting on the latest definitions, and I couldn't believe how many wankers there were trying to big themselves up or put someone down.
by Mr. Cardboard October 30, 2011
Get the WANKER mug.Cocktail, also known as a bullseye. Consists of 50% red wine, 50% red bull, though more commonly red rooster is used instead of red bull as it is way cheaper.
The best fucking drink in the world to get fucked up on, but causing you to shout incoherently at traffic - hence the name.
The best fucking drink in the world to get fucked up on, but causing you to shout incoherently at traffic - hence the name.
Dude 1: Did you just pour red rooster into your wine?
Dude 2: Yeah, it's an angry tramp. Try some.
Dude 1: (tries drink) wow, that's fuckin awesome. Can I have one?
(2 hours later)
Dude 1: fuckin... CARS! I'll give you... somethin to beep about. Yeah BEEP BEEP. I remember, I was... This way? Yes.
Dude 2: Yeah, it's an angry tramp. Try some.
Dude 1: (tries drink) wow, that's fuckin awesome. Can I have one?
(2 hours later)
Dude 1: fuckin... CARS! I'll give you... somethin to beep about. Yeah BEEP BEEP. I remember, I was... This way? Yes.
by Mr. Cardboard November 6, 2011
Get the angry tramp mug.Before hiding the sausage, any man worth his salt first hides the chips. i.e. before sticking your cock in a bird it is generally wise to stick a couple of fingers in there to assess the risk of disease/transvestite/mousetraps.
This act can be conveniently passed off as "foreplay".
This act can be conveniently passed off as "foreplay".
A: Dude I saw you getting it on with Stacey last night, how'd you make out?
B: Gutted, she'd only let me finger her.
A: Hid the chips?* Here let me smell.
*past participle of "hide the chips"
B: Gutted, she'd only let me finger her.
A: Hid the chips?* Here let me smell.
*past participle of "hide the chips"
by Mr. Cardboard June 27, 2011
Get the hide the chips mug.Any form of dungeon where sexual activities occur.
At one extreme this is a spare room in a house containing some vaguely dungeony artefacts like plastic handcuffs where a consensual couple may role play S&M when they are in the mood for some minor kink.
The other extreme is an actual dungeon in the dark, dank bowels of an actual castle where individuals are held permanently against their will and forced to perform unspeakable acts for the gratification of their captor.
At one extreme this is a spare room in a house containing some vaguely dungeony artefacts like plastic handcuffs where a consensual couple may role play S&M when they are in the mood for some minor kink.
The other extreme is an actual dungeon in the dark, dank bowels of an actual castle where individuals are held permanently against their will and forced to perform unspeakable acts for the gratification of their captor.
Customer: "Do you sell galvanised steel chain?"
Shop assistant: "Yes sir, aisle 6"
Customer: "Great, and do you have manacles?"
Shop assistant: "Sorry we're fresh out, have you tried 'Sex Dungeons R Us'?"
Shop assistant: "Yes sir, aisle 6"
Customer: "Great, and do you have manacles?"
Shop assistant: "Sorry we're fresh out, have you tried 'Sex Dungeons R Us'?"
by Mr. Cardboard November 7, 2011
Get the sex dungeon mug.Every woman on the face of the earth, plus any that happen to be in space right now.
"Stacey and me were so close when we were at primary, but then she hit puberty and now she's like a snake with tits."
"Stacey and me were so close when we were at primary, but then she hit puberty and now she's like a snake with tits."
by Mr. Cardboard October 30, 2011
Get the snake with tits mug.Cocktail - variant of the Bloody Mary.
A large measure of 60% proof white Jamaican rum in a dirty glass, overfilled with tinned chopped tomatoes such that the juice runs down the outside of the glass onto the table. Stirred with index finger, spilling more of the contents.
Taste and immediately regret. Place on table and forget about for several minutes, then accidentally spill down the wall. Leave on wall for 3-5 years.
A large measure of 60% proof white Jamaican rum in a dirty glass, overfilled with tinned chopped tomatoes such that the juice runs down the outside of the glass onto the table. Stirred with index finger, spilling more of the contents.
Taste and immediately regret. Place on table and forget about for several minutes, then accidentally spill down the wall. Leave on wall for 3-5 years.
by Mr. Cardboard November 6, 2011
Get the shipwreck mug.