Mr. Cardboard's definitions
The teenage girl's kryptonite.
Stacey never paid me much attention even though I'd wanted to bang her since the 3rd grade, she was always so prim and proper. Then last Friday night I bumped into her at the bar and being a gentleman I offered her a drink.
4 white wines later she turned into Audrey Hollander it was like Jekyll and Hyde, but with sex.
4 white wines later she turned into Audrey Hollander it was like Jekyll and Hyde, but with sex.
by Mr. Cardboard October 30, 2011
Get the white winemug. Theoretical construct to continue having sex with someone who is hot but lives far away and is not worth moving for, but is worth visiting from time to time for a change from all the regular sex you are getting.
Dude 1: I heard Stacey moved away to go to university, sucks for you.
Dude 2: Psh I just told her we'd have a long distance relationship.
Dude 1: I like your style.
Dude 2: Psh I just told her we'd have a long distance relationship.
Dude 1: I like your style.
by Mr. Cardboard November 8, 2011
Get the long distance relationshipmug. Ponce: Schedule a meeting through my PA.
Human: PA?
Ponce: Personal Assistant.
Human: You mean your assistant?
Human: PA?
Ponce: Personal Assistant.
Human: You mean your assistant?
by Mr. Cardboard November 8, 2011
Get the PAmug. by Mr. Cardboard November 7, 2011
Get the mousepraneensemug. Suffix meaning "to steal", generally applied to a vehicle or situation. Originates from the word hijack but bastardised for comic effect.
Dude 1: I was gonna go for a crap but someone's running a bath.
Dude 2: You should have jacked it.
Dude 1: Bathjacking?
Dude 2: You should have jacked it.
Dude 1: Bathjacking?
by Mr. Cardboard November 6, 2011
Get the jackmug. A magic incantation that makes a giant, painful shit come out when you say it. If the pain of a dump is so heinous it makes you pull a face like Renee Zellweger, speaking her name is the only way to guarantee it's safe passage.
When spoken properly it sounds like this "RRRRRRRRRReneeezellwegAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH....."
When spoken properly it sounds like this "RRRRRRRRRReneeezellwegAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH....."
by Mr. Cardboard January 27, 2012
Get the Renee Zellwegermug. 1) Taking mind altering substances right before a wordy exam that requires you to express an opinion - such as philosophy or english literature, enhancing your ability to plumb the depths of the mind and/or lowering your inhibitions enough to say what you really think, whilst either enhancing or diminishing your ability to actually write it down.
2) Letting your mate be the first to sample the latest batch of drugs you have acquired, by pretending that you have all already taken some and the effects are really good, whereas in fact you suspect you have just been sold half a kilo of caustic soda.
3) A test performed by people in authority who are too scared to take drugs, in order to see if any of their employees are actually any fun outside of work.
2) Letting your mate be the first to sample the latest batch of drugs you have acquired, by pretending that you have all already taken some and the effects are really good, whereas in fact you suspect you have just been sold half a kilo of caustic soda.
3) A test performed by people in authority who are too scared to take drugs, in order to see if any of their employees are actually any fun outside of work.
1) I can't believe I got an A in religious studies, I scored some bud an hour before the exam and had a sly toke to keep me calm but it just made me so much more able to refute things eloquently.
2) Dave! Long time no see, fancy a line? This is great stuff man I've been on it for weeks.
3) "All employees will have a drug test on Monday"
"Um, I'm the regional manager, have never had a bad review, got promoted twice last year and brought in 6 new accounts this month already. And I take drugs. My team are the most useless bunch of monkeys who ever came down from the trees and none of them take drugs. What exactly is the point of this test?"
"All employees will have a drug test on Monday"
2) Dave! Long time no see, fancy a line? This is great stuff man I've been on it for weeks.
3) "All employees will have a drug test on Monday"
"Um, I'm the regional manager, have never had a bad review, got promoted twice last year and brought in 6 new accounts this month already. And I take drugs. My team are the most useless bunch of monkeys who ever came down from the trees and none of them take drugs. What exactly is the point of this test?"
"All employees will have a drug test on Monday"
by Mr. Cardboard October 30, 2011
Get the drug testmug.