The woman named Shantel that lives in my head and gives me advice. She sometimes gets in fights with me, but in the end, we get along juuuuuuuuust fine.
Me: Inner Sassy Black Woman, I'm thinking about stealing some liquor to have fun with my friends.
ISBW: Damn son! That's whack! You betta not take no liqour or I'm gonna smack yo white narra ass back to Compton!
Me: Thanks ISBW! What would I do without you?
ISBW: I don't know, foo! Jus stay in line, and no niggas gonna get hurt, ya hear!
When a group of people are standing around, and someone farts, but the culprit is too ashamed to admit it, and nobody knows who commited such tomfoolery. Also, only the dead are above suspicion.
The scene takes place while 7 teens are in an elevator at the top floor of a 13 story hotel. None of them know each other, but they are linked by a horrific crime.
Dan: Hey, second floor please.
Susanne: Me too.
Suddenly, everyone is alerted by strange but natural occurance.
Dianne- What in the hell was that?
Anne: Hello everyone, would you like to play a game?
Stan: Real funny you sick bitch!
Anne: I did not commit this treachery but I will find out who did. The elevator is sealed and we will only escape if we call the operator. I will not let anyone touch this phone unless the perpatrater is brought to justice. If we don't escape, the gas will eventually end us. We have three minutes.
Dot: (whimpering in fetal postion) I DON'T WANT TO DO IT MOMMY, I DON'T WANT TO DIE
Roxanne: This is blaspheme! And only for some Phamtom Gas?!
Susanne: Why so angry, you fat dame, GOT SOMETHING TO HIDE?
Roxanne: No it wasn't me you nincompoop.
Stan: Well you're both cotton-headed ninny-muggins.
Dan: Oh no no, neither of them are cotton-headed ninny-muggins, guy. Is this what we've succumbed to?
Dianne: Well if the flux capacit...(gag)
Suddenly the seven young teens collapse and die. Anne, the suicidal debate team president, was the last to die. She passed away laughing, as it was her phantom gas all along.
Upon venturing into the glory hole of your sexual partner, after giving her one hell of an orgasm, she will emit a moan of pure ecstasy, and you will know you've completed a job well done.
NOTE: This is synonymous with "Completing Your Final Mission"
Little Tony, everyone's lovable little scamp, went to a party with his more matured friends. He meets a girl.
Enter Tony, stage left
Tony: Hey there. Would you like to talk with me for a little while?
Esmeralda: Sure sweet heart.
Enter Mordechai, Tony's wingman.
Mordechai: Hey there, Tony ol' buddy ol' pal! I see you've been hittin' it off with this hoe for a little while now. You gonna fuck her or what?
Tony: Oh, um, excuse me miss, my friend here is a little under the influence. You see, his blood alcohol content has exceeded its-
Esmeralda: Oh it's okay, I'm used to it.
Suddenly, Mordechai arouses the crowd, and a riot breaks out, in which Tony and Esmeralda surf the crowd together.
Tony: Oh my, I knew I shouldn't have come to this shindig! I have a test tomorrow!
Esmeralda: You need to lighten up, big boy. You as tense as a bag o' chips.
Suddenly, Mordechai and the others throw Tony and Esmeralda in a room, and the door is blocked by the fellow party-goers. They are in the room alone for 3 hours. This is the first time they have been alone all night.
After being in the room for all that time, the door knob began to twist. Everyone fell silent and stared at the door.
After it opened, Tony stood there, belt buckle undone.
Tony: The Boys Come Marching Home.
The crowd bursts into cheers
Mordechai: LET'S PARTY
Suddenly, "Feeling Hot Hot Hot" started playing, and everyone danced
When your friend goes in your bathroom and takes a large shit that vaporizes anyone in a 10 mile radius and leaves a radioactive aftermath of disgusting scents.
(One day, Wakime walked into his house, and got the suprise of his life)
Wakime: Hey mom, I just bought that shirt I like, and... JESUS CHRIST!
(Wakime stopped in his tracks to see his girlfriend Rachel go in his bathroom, drop her pants, and sit on the toilet, not even taking time to close the door)
Wakime: BABY NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
(But it was too late, Wakime had been converted to nuclear vapor by his girlfiends explosive diarrhea.)
When you have a fetish, or
are attracted to 12-year-old girls.
Romeo and Juliet had sex, even though she was only 12-years-old at the time.
When you cum onto your partner's hand, and they smush it around between their fingers, and let the cum dry, thus glueing their fingers together.
Bitch 1: Hey how was sex with Herschel last night?
Bitch 2: It was great, until he gave a sticky wicket, and I was late to work since I couldn't drive with my fin-like appendages.
Bitch 1: DAYUMMM! yo mama gonna get mad if you late to pick up yo brutha from pre-school again.
Bitch 3: Yo bitches! I saw "How Stella Got Her Groove Back 2" last night! And after the movie Shantel gave me a Sticky Wicket.
Bitch 2: That's Splungtastic! You and I got sticky wickets last night!
Bitch 1: Yeah well word to yo mutha!!!
Bitch 3: Yo mutha ain't got nothin on my daddy!
Bitch 2: Peace, bitches! We believe that the children are the future. Everybody SANG!!
Bitch 4: You a crazy mofo!