Monkey's Dad's definitions

GFF

A feminine refinement of BFF, meaning GirlFriends Forever.

"Lauren and me have known each other since we were, like, little, and we are, like, GFF."

by Monkey's Dad August 22, 2021

social unrest

Disorder created by injustice, inequality and lack of accountability for the suffering of the people. A negative for which no positive - 'social rest' - exists.

The nightly protests and curfews were an outward sign of the social unrest which had been bubbling for years, exacerbated by surging unemployment, poverty and uncontrolled disease.

by Monkey's Dad June 3, 2020

Coronundrum

A pandemic with no clear solution.

As the months wore on, all hopeful answers leading to dead ends, coronavirus threatened to become an incurable coronundrum.

by Monkey's Dad April 26, 2020

pins and noodles

A state of being highly agitated, yet feeling limp and boneless, anticipating a momentous event.

Sitting in the front row at the Oscars, watching as the envelope was slowly opened, waiting to hear her name called for Best Actress, she was on pins and noodles, wondering if she'd be able to walk to the stage or whether her legs would turn to spaghetti.

by Monkey's Dad March 1, 2020

Gender Reveal

An unsolicited photo of a person's genitalia. The politically correct term for what was long known as "indecent exposure", borrowed from the whole baby-coming-out-party idiocy.

She was neither shocked nor offended by Jared's sending her a dick pic an hour after their first date, as if he was unsure whether he was actually a man. She was fairly certain he was, and was not in need of the gender reveal.

by Monkey's Dad June 14, 2021

Charlatantrum

A temper tantrum thrown by an unqualified charlatan president, when questioned, opposed or exposed for his ignorance, pretense and lies.

"I say you're a terrible reporter!" the president fumed, when asked what he might say to reassure the American people. It was untethered to the real world, just another charlatantrum, meant to disguise his unfitness but only revealing it.

by Monkey's Dad April 23, 2020

I'll wait here

When spoken to a man, by a woman, who is seated comfortably in the front seat of a car, on a rainy day, outside Starbucks, translates into English as: Venti Cappuccino with almond milk and a vanilla bean pastry, please.

I'll wait here.

by Monkey's Dad December 24, 2019