Monkey's Dad's definitions
She stared numbly through the rain hitting her windshield, wondering if she were dreaming. There it really was, on the car in front of her, the truth of her life this year, the truth of everyone's life. 2020WTF.
by Monkey's Dad December 5, 2020
Get the 2020WTF mug.She stared numbly through the rain coursing down her windshield, wondering if she were dreaming. There it really was, on the car in front of her, the truth of her life this year, the truth of everyone's life. 2020WTF.
by Monkey's Dad December 7, 2020
Get the 2020WTF mug.She was terrified of Covid, afraid she'd suffocate wearing a mask, quaking over what effects the vaccine could have, phobic about getting close to anyone and mortified that she was being scarred-for-life by the emotional deprivations of social distancing. Dr. Kafween had termed her a Free Range Chicken, and now she was apprehensive about her next session, reasonably fearful of getting billed for a missed appointment with her analyst, who, she was afraid to admit, was rarely wrong.
by Monkey's Dad December 10, 2020
Get the free range chicken mug.Dictating while driving and doing her nails, her text said that she was happy with her new high bridge Toyota Penis. Could she give him a shocking lisp? If he would pick up a few ripe tornadoes and parrots she could cook his favorite vaginal soup.
He didn't even try to translate. Once again she had crossed the border into the Spell-Czech Republic.
He didn't even try to translate. Once again she had crossed the border into the Spell-Czech Republic.
by Monkey's Dad December 10, 2020
Get the Spell-Czech Republic mug.The ratio of Republicans to Democrats in each house who have tested positive for coronavirus as of 12/17/2020.
26 Republicans vs 11 Democratic House members, 9 Republican vs 2 Democratic Senators have tested positive for coronavirus. Who can guess which party denied the danger of the virus, denied the reality of the pandemic, denied the importance of masks and social distancing? ... 26/11 and 9/2 ... Anyone?
by Monkey's Dad December 18, 2020
Get the 26/11 and 9/2 mug.He needed it bad, needed it now! now! startin' to shake 'n where's the remote? Where is my Goddamned remote?! Ping! and oh, right there! Hannity!!... ahhhhh... there... my Fix News, okay man, rigged, fraud, reverse the election, dead voters, Venezuelan ballots and man-made covid 'cause Melania takes her mask off in the goddamned children's hospital and the kids do not get sick and die, one kleenex and so what?! not over, man, not over, second term landslide starts inauguration day... better now, so... much......... better.
by Monkey's Dad December 20, 2020
Get the Fix News mug.After four crazy years, during which so much happened that she knew she'd later be ashamed of, she was ready. "21" was shiny with promise, and turning 21 in '21, she and the country were eager to put it behind them.
by Monkey's Dad December 24, 2020
Get the turning 21 mug.