Monkey's Dad's definitions

Hydroxycloroxquine

The bomb. A tablespoon of Clorox mixed with hydroxychloroquine.

If drinking Hydroxycloroxquine meant she could go back to the nail salon, she'd have a double.

by Monkey's Dad April 24, 2020

Covid's Metamorphoses

An epic poem, waiting to be written.

Chronicling the transformations of the world, from its creation to its breakdown, due to the coronavirus and the self-deification a Julius Caesar wannabe, Covid's Metamorphoses will be read in the 22nd Century as a charming fable of humanity as it once was.

by Monkey's Dad October 7, 2020

vaccillation

Uncertainty about the value and wisdom of getting a vaccination.

Most people she knew were getting it, but she'd heard one story of a child being paralyzed for life, and she was in a state of vaccillation about whether to allow the immunization for her daughter.

by Monkey's Dad April 11, 2020

conspiracy theory

Literally - the idea of people breathing together.

Con=together. Spire=breathe.

She didn't want a respirator, didn't want to expire. Her inspiration was that once the pandemic passed she might breathe with other people, her conspiracy theory, and it filled her with hope.

by Monkey's Dad April 27, 2020

isopropyl alcoholism

Addiction to hand sanitizing, a common pandemic disorder.

He sanitized his hands after touching any item, even if it had been sitting undisturbed on his desk for years. 'You can never be too careful', he said aloud, every few minutes, in denial of his isopropyl alcoholism.

by Monkey's Dad April 25, 2020

invisible prison cell

The six-foot radius meant to prevent coronavirus transmission.

He felt it as portable solitary confinement, like carrying around an invisible prison cell.

by Monkey's Dad March 23, 2020

OMC

Shock at testing positive for the Omicron variant of Covid.

"I sincerely hope you're fully vaccinated"
"Who? Me? ... Why?"
"Your test came back positive. But relax. It will only kill you if you're unvaccinated,"
"OMC"
"OMG! Please tell me..."
"I mean... I figured... if Marjorie Taylor Greene didn't get the shot... or wear a mask... no need, right?"

by Monkey's Dad December 31, 2021