Monkey's Dad's definitions

The New New York

An almost unrecognizable city, silent and still, filled with people yet seemingly abandoned.

From her balcony she looked down at the bizarrely empty streets of the New New York.

by Monkey's Dad March 28, 2020

formal sex

The opposite of casual sex.

"Save-the-Date" cards are sent, followed by printed invitations requiring an RSVP. There is an unspoken dress and undress code. Invitees are expected to be well-mannered, witty, and clean. Afterwards, a small note of appreciation is well received.

An evening of formal sex was always something to look forward to, a reason to go shopping in the preceding weeks, to attend to hair, nails, makeup. And in the following days, to lightly mention in passing, a source of envy amongst friends.

by Monkey's Dad January 10, 2022

Doctor Donothing

Doctor Dolittle's more eccentric office-mate. A person so fully connected to the animals that he finds humans strangely exotic.

"Where's Doctor Donothing?"
"Outside, where he's been since four AM, feeding the deer, the squirrels and chipmunks, the birds and the dogs. When I try to talk to him, he looks at me like I belong in an aquarium."

by Monkey's Dad October 24, 2020

Like

By the year 2050, the sole remaining word in spoken English - a language once said to comprise 171,476 words, in a mode of communication once ubiquitous, then common, then, like, whatever. It was deemed, like, for real? and finally supplanted by enthusiastically written English, ie: texted abbreviations and emojis.

He was, like, 2050? and I'm like, what? and he went, like, the, like, single, like, remaining word in, like, whoa, and I'm, like, whatever

by Monkey's Dad October 13, 2019

Whensday?

Some day of the week or other, during Covid, when time is disordered.

The Zoom meeting is... Whensday? Or what.

by Monkey's Dad August 26, 2020

epidemonology

The study of who and what gets blamed for an epidemic.

Whether it was the complacent president, a de-funded response system, or simply "Patient Zero" who got off the plane from Beijing, coughing, epidemonology would inevitably follow.

by Monkey's Dad March 11, 2020

Maskochism

Deriving gratification, sexual or otherwise, from flirting with death by refusing to wear a mask in public, during the COVID-19 pandemic.

Knowing he might get infected, he strode barefaced into the crowd, enjoying his maskochism.

by Monkey's Dad June 11, 2020