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Monkey's Dad's definitions

Pandemocrisy

Using the Pandemic to Hypocritically manipulate the Democratic process.
On election day, voters would be told to stay home, for their safety, yet forced to go to the polls, which in traditionally democratic areas would be closed. America was becoming a Pandemocrisy - Fear More Years!
by Monkey's Dad May 9, 2020
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sociophobe

A suddenly-healthy individual whose aversion to being close to other people, or - gasp! - being touched, was very recently seen as a disorder. In these stressful times he is a paragon of sanity.
I don't want to seem like a sociophobe, but please... the six-foot rule? Don't breathe on me, don't touch me, don't even look at my food!
by Monkey's Dad March 14, 2020
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Spell-Czech Republic

Where ordinary words go to be reborn.
Dictating while driving and doing her nails, her text said that she was happy with her new high bridge Toyota Penis. Could she give him a shocking lisp? If he would pick up a few ripe tornadoes and parrots she could cook his favorite vaginal soup.

He didn't even try to translate. Once again she had crossed the border into the Spell-Czech Republic.
by Monkey's Dad December 10, 2020
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The Rifle Tower

America's answer to France's Eiffel Tower, our national phallus. Unlike the Eiffel, this monument to cultural pride is fluid in its location, arising in Newtown, El Paso, Parkland, Orlando, Las Vegas and who-knows-where next, making it easy for foreign tourists to get a taste of our country's zest for a liberty that shall not be infringed.
Jacques, he send me une Carte Postale from Etats Unis, photo only of guy in a cap rouge, Making America Great, holding straight up, his erection shape like AR-15, The Rifle Tower. From cold dead fingers we will take it? Non merci. Mon Dieu.
by Monkey's Dad September 9, 2019
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Like-ectomy

A surgical procedure to excise the insidiously invasive word "like" from an otherwise articulate person's vocabulary.
If she said, "I'm like", "he was like", or, "like, you know, like, kinda, like, pizza but without, like, any, like, crust" he would take her in for a like-ectomy, whether she... uh... liked it, or, like, you know, like, not.
by Monkey's Dad May 29, 2023
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suisociophobia

A society's fear of itself.
'Love Thy Neighbor' seemed an outdated notion, a souvenir of a vanished world, everyone now sheltering indoors, regarding their neighbors as a threat, overtaken by suisociophobia.
by Monkey's Dad March 22, 2020
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glass coffee table

A metaphor for the larger thing being destroyed in an attempt to eliminate a much smaller thing.
The conservative justices might have noted that 'voting fraud', which several states claim they are trying to prevent, is essentially nonexistent. As one federal judge put it, such laws are akin to using “a sledgehammer to hit an imaginary fly on a glass coffee table.”
by Monkey's Dad July 2, 2021
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