Monkey's Dad's definitions
She refused to be vaccinated, certain that Bill Gates had engineered the whole pandemic to take over the world. The shot would implant a microchip in her brain. Bill Gates would know where she was at all times, what she bought, the websites she visited, what songs she liked. She had learned this from her i-phone, which was always on, always in her hand. She was a certifiable vaccadoodle and if she perished from Covid, at least Gates would never know.
by Monkey's Dad February 15, 2021
Get the Vaccadoodlemug. A long-awaited collaboration from the creators of Mad Men and Breaking Bad - Matthew Weiner and Vince Gilligan. Millions of homebound fans, desperate for a new binge, are hoping TV history will be made.
Don Draper sees the writing on the wall - a third of the storefronts on Madison Avenue are vacant. Realizing that in Covid-depressed America there is not much left to advertise, not much to buy and little reason to buy it, he goes in search of Jesse Pinkman, and the temptation of Breaking Mad.
by Monkey's Dad December 27, 2020
Get the Breaking Madmug. Heather's posts centered around her anxieties, her phobias, her delusional self-image - photos of herself taken today, taken ten years ago, taken when she was born - complimenting herself in a variety of ways, and her friends obliged, from empathy, 'liking', 'sharing', telling her how beautiful she still was, knowing she was a Facebook patient.
by Monkey's Dad April 3, 2020
Get the Facebook patientmug. by Monkey's Dad April 24, 2020
Get the Hydroxycloroxquinemug. Chronicling the transformations of the world, from its creation to its breakdown, due to the coronavirus and the self-deification a Julius Caesar wannabe, Covid's Metamorphoses will be read in the 22nd Century as a charming fable of humanity as it once was.
by Monkey's Dad October 7, 2020
Get the Covid's Metamorphosesmug. Not the eternal 'you'll-burn-in-hell' admonition from parents, nuns and priests received by millions of adolescents. Now, it's your face that is the forbidden body part.
Quietly closing the door behind her, stripping off her gloves, sliding out of her mask, she kept repeating "Don't touch yourself" although she desperately craved the feel of her own fingers.
by Monkey's Dad May 15, 2020
Get the Don't touch yourselfmug. Oil prices fall below zero, Texas, the nation's leading crude oil producer, looks in the mirror and sees Venezuela.
Once unimaginable, today US oil prices plunged to minus $40 a barrel, and Texazuela may face economic collapse.
by Monkey's Dad April 20, 2020
Get the Texazuelamug.