Skip to main content

Monkey's Dad's definitions

Coney

1) An early name for “rabbit.” Historically rhyming with honey, it derives from the French conil, from the Latin cunīculus.

2) The maiden name of Amy Coney Barrett, the present nominee for Supreme Court justice.
It's Coney, but PLEASE do NOT rhyme it with 'honey', which will yield the Olde English slang for female genitalia.
by Monkey's Dad October 14, 2020
mugGet the Coney mug.

Facial Recognition

1) A technology rendered obsolete by Covid.
2) A quaint human interaction, from the time when people could see another person's face, know whom they were looking at, and respond with feeling.
He saw a sort of female person standing in front of him. She had her ear pods in and was speaking to someone who was not there. She was wearing a mask, as required by law and by custom, large sunglasses and a hat. He saw a small patch of skin - her cheeks - and longing for that old feeling once termed facial recognition, he believed it might or might not be Sarah.
by Monkey's Dad December 30, 2020
mugGet the Facial Recognition mug.

femoji

An emoji used primarily or exclusively by women or girls, ie; any emoji.
She ends every sentence, sometimes every phrase, with, like, a femoji.
by Monkey's Dad April 18, 2020
mugGet the femoji mug.

meat loafers

What a devout vegan sees when she spots your leather shoes.
She had fallen for his whole 'I'm so kind to animals' thing. On their first date, happily sharing Impossible Burgers with him, she dropped her fork. At floor level, she saw his feet. "Hypocrite!" she screamed. Are those vegan leather? No! You are wearing meat loafers!" She grabbed her phone, unfriended him, and stalked off. Needing some comfort food, he signaled the waiter for a bacon cheeseburger.
by Monkey's Dad March 6, 2020
mugGet the meat loafers mug.

Noid

Clear-sighted, realistically unafraid. A condition which must necessarily exist in order for the condition of being para-noid to exist.
The only one at the party who had declined the marijuana, he did not have the munchies, did not find every utterance, no matter how inane, hysterically funny, he was more than ready to drive anyone and everyone home if need be, and he was suffering no delusions; absolutely no one was out to get him. While his friends may be paranoid, he was, in a word - noid.
by Monkey's Dad June 6, 2021
mugGet the Noid mug.

barf, barf, barf

When spoken aloud, a mature response to the sight of two people who love each other fearlessly.
Watching the ageless couple sitting in a chair meant for one, gazing into each other's eyes, stroking, kissing, laughing at things no one else could see or hear, she expressed her own joy eloquently, muttering, "barf, barf, barf".
by Monkey's Dad December 25, 2022
mugGet the barf, barf, barf mug.

The New Misanthropy

A novel condition in which the sufferer looks upon approaching human beings as threats, just for breathing, and wants them to burn in hell.
What was this moron, this utter fool, coming toward her with his mouth covered and his fucking nostrils exposed?! He was human scum, a killer, and the sight of him filled her with revulsion. At one time she might have found him attractive. But now? Now she wanted to smash him, hard, but that would entail proximity, the last thing she'd ever want to share with another person. She knew she'd contracted The New Misanthropy, but it was a damn sight better than Covid.
by Monkey's Dad February 10, 2021
mugGet the The New Misanthropy mug.

Share this definition

Sign in to vote

We'll email you a link to sign in instantly.

Or

Check your email

We sent a link to

Open your email