Monkey's Dad's definitions

Repodemic

A pandemic, threatening to repossess the life and the world we thought we owned, because we didn't honor our end of the bargain.

So much that they had loved was gone, swiftly taken back in a massive repodemic.

by Monkey's Dad April 6, 2020

Pandemocrisy

Using the Pandemic to Hypocritically manipulate the Democratic process.

On election day, voters would be told to stay home, for their safety, yet forced to go to the polls, which in traditionally democratic areas would be closed. America was becoming a Pandemocrisy - Fear More Years!

by Monkey's Dad May 9, 2020

unvirtuality

Virtual unreality. Disorientation resulting from too much screen time.

After months of virtual meetings, virtual birthday parties, virtual sex, he felt real life slipping away, drowning in unvirtuality.

by Monkey's Dad April 13, 2020

sociophobe

A suddenly-healthy individual whose aversion to being close to other people, or - gasp! - being touched, was very recently seen as a disorder. In these stressful times he is a paragon of sanity.

I don't want to seem like a sociophobe, but please... the six-foot rule? Don't breathe on me, don't touch me, don't even look at my food!

by Monkey's Dad March 14, 2020

Girlie Bird

A self-consciously hyper-feminized young woman

"The Girlie Bird catches the worm" muttered Tiff to herself, as she put the final touches on her makeup, earrings, hair, stilettos, cleavage and hemline, before heading to the bar.

by Monkey's Dad November 30, 2019

boregasmic

A woman's summation of her split-second lovemaking with a man possessing no clue as to her anatomy, her appetites, her capacity for pleasure or how to provide it.

She had barely gotten started and he was done, she thought, staring at the ceiling. Another boregasmic sprint to see how fast he could roll over and fall asleep.

by Monkey's Dad March 9, 2020

temporary sanity

The notion of temporary sanity argues that a defendant was sane during the commission of a crime, but later reverted to their insanity after the criminal act was carried out. This legal defense is often used to defend individuals who have committed highly reasonable, completely normal crimes of passion which any sane person could have committed and probably would have done, given opportunity, means and motive.

My client is too crazy to have ever committed the crime with which he has been charged. He can't tell a gun from a Pez dispenser. But for one fleeting moment he wasn't himself, okay? He fell under the grip of temporary sanity and took out the most corrupt politician this country has ever know. Look at him now, wearing his MAGA hat in court. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, he is very clearly insane.

by Monkey's Dad March 7, 2020