They could no longer meet in class, or in the office, but after weeks of online meetings they felt like Zoommates.
by Monkey's Dad May 14, 2020
An emotional space in which you become hopelessly tangled, unable to see the trees, blind to the forest, wandering in circles, lost.
How had the relationship gone wrong? Could she have just trashed him? No, she must have meant... something else... because... words are only words, he can't be all of those things she called him... or any of them. After so many good times... and why was it getting dark so fast? He'd find his way out of the Bewilderness, in a day or a year. Maybe.
by Monkey's Dad September 10, 2022
Their New York-L.A. thing had felt dynamic, sharing best-of-both with alternating weeks. After months of facetime but no actual faces, and no actual bodies, they were in a long distance relationslump.
by Monkey's Dad April 17, 2020
A family so potentially explosive that no one dares breathe, knowing that a single-word detonation could destroy everyone in its blast radius
They sat at the dinner table, a nuclear family, Mom, Billy and Sue careful to not make eye contact, no one making any move that could detonate their father's explosive rage. Hiroshima would look like a day in the park, in contrast to the inevitable wreckage.
by Monkey's Dad October 07, 2021
The murmured protestation of a woman being served an artfully prepared late-morning breakfast, in bed, with a monogrammed sterling spoon, under a velvet blanket, by a man whose one goal in life is her pleasure and comfort, meant to convey the disclaimer: "I am not a Jap".
Ianaj - obviously you have never known a real one - please bring me my glasses... turn the fan slightly toward the window... my phone... and what time is it?
by Monkey's Dad September 03, 2019
A common state of being in which a person's life is directed toward and extracted from their cellphone, to the exclusion of actual experience.
She's so cellphcentered she can't take a shower without the freakin' thing in her hand. From the shower, tripping down the stairs, getting honked at while crossing the street, eyes on her phone, she's like, having dinner with tonight's guy she met through her cellphone, covertly staring at the same cellphone in her lap as she swipes right on the next three guys and sends breakup texts to the last three. Ask her the color of tonight's date's eyes, I dare you.
by Monkey's Dad October 22, 2019
I always liked the word 'like'. It indicated positive feelings about someone or something, signified similarity. But when the formerly articulate Jon Stewart, in the first episode of his new show, said "And I'm like, what?" in a stream of verbiage strewn with meaningless 'likes', it was a sign that 'like' had suffered the final act of logocide, as if the dying word, zombified, had finally infected every last logocidal person, regardless of age, education, you know, and I'm like, damn.
by Monkey's Dad October 06, 2021